How to get through the holidays...

[Abrecheisen53]

Hi, I am new to the Bereavement Care & Share. I had participated on the PSP group before. My husband John passed September 1, 2020, from PSP so I am relatively new to this. My heart is still very sad and still very tired. I am trying to make a new normal, but must admit with Covid it is extremely difficult. I live in Wisconsin (WI), USA. If any of you see the US news, aside of our crazy politics, WI is one of the many epicenters of the Pandemic.

Today I went and bought a grave spray for Christmas. Our headstone is not completed yet, but want something to find him with when the snow comes...we get a lot of snow in WI. I bought some Christmas cards as well. I guess the realization that he will not be here this year is really hitting me hard. I know he's gone, but it is going to be really rough not having him here. We have five grown kids with spouses and children but to be honest I really don't care. I just seem to be going through the motions. Not sure if I can bring myself to put up a tree. Probably not. I think I just may go to bed and let the days pass. It's not even Christmas, yet I am dreading it so.

Any suggestions to help make the season pass and survive?

Thanks, Alice

[Greyone]

Hi there Abrecheisen53 and welcome.

If your children our grown with families then i hope they will reach out to your over Christmas. Hopefully they will start a major project of help mum over Christmas or the like. Maybe there is one or more who could stay with you over Christmas or would invite you to stay. If you don't think you could face that much merriment then that would be understandable. But if you are finding the house so quiet and lonely then it may help.

Apart from that consider having people around you or being with people as much as you feel you can tolerate over the 12 days. Companionable silence or a few gentle words from those around you may ease you through the festive season.

I'm sure others here will soon have some thoughtful ideas. With whatever you and your families agree to do , good luck.

[chloe40 Administrator]

Hello Abrecheisen53

A very warm welcome to our Community,

So sorry for your loss, it's very early days and you're feeling very raw right now, understandably.

Christmas is very hard for all of us and I think you've been very brave to buy a spray and even Christmas cards when you must be feeling so much anguish. Having family will help get you through this time, especially the children but the older ones will be suffering grief themselves albeit slightly different to yourself.

I would mention to your children how you are feeling and if you can, say you will try your best over Christmas but you may want to spend periods with your own thoughts.

As Greyone suggests a project of some sort but what better time than the family contributing to a 'Memory box' containing little notes, photos and memorabilia of your husband. Something that will bring you comfort for a long time to come., and you'll be able to take it out and go through it and reflect on your time together.

Stay close and stay well <3

Chloe<3

[spykey]

Hi Abrecheisen53

Just thought I'd say sorry for your loss! And that I'm sending you Prayers and Blessings at this difficult time of year.

Hugs and Blessings🕊🐈

Spykey