I feel so alone.

[BluuAngel]

Hello. I am new to this community. But, I am glad a kind friend told me about it. I have not been on the site for a while. I had spoken about the loss of my mother and how I still cannot get over her death. I now have lost my father. He passed on December 18, 2018. He passed away here at home, just as my mother did in 2009. Hospice employees are such angels!! I am finding it very difficult to keep myself under control only because I have my 10 year old little boy who had to watch the only daddy he knew die a little bit every day. He had to watch this right along with me because I was caring for my daddy. My son was born in 2008, he was just a baby when my mommy was slowly dying here at home. I am so sad for our loss, but I am even more sad that there is nothing that I can do to take the pain that my baby feels away. I mean, I am 40 something and I still need my mommy and daddy. He is only 10!! My heart is so broken and I miss my parents so very much. This pain is so bad, I know if I were to really allow myself to feel it, I would surely die!! My son and I have an appointment with the grief counselor from Hospice next week. I also ask God to please help my son and myself, along with my sister and brother and their families. I am trying my best to deal with this and to deal with my disorders at the same time so I don't flip out! I flipped out on the day of my father's funeral. I just feel lost and so very heart broken. Thank you for your time!! May God bless you all!! I hope your New Year brings many good things to you all!!

The picture is my mommy and daddy when they were good and happy and together! I took that picture and how I wish I could jump right into that picture and hug them so tight and NEVER LET GO!! How I wish.....

[chloe40 Administrator]

Hello there BluuAngel

Words are not enough to describe how sorry I am to read of your losses (((hugs))) how absolutely grief stricken you are.

I am grateful to read that your son is attending a grief counsellor, it's so important for him as you are suffering grief yourself, so he needs extra help.

Give yourself a few weeks before seeking bereavement counselling yourself.

Here at Bereavement Care & Share, we have so many wonderful supportive members, who will always give support and tips that have helped them, but ultimately, its the feeling of knowing you are surrounded by people who know exactly what you're going through.

We are always here for you, anytime, any day, please be comforted knowing that.

Bless you xx

Chloe

[BluuAngel in reply to chloe40]

Thank you so very much Miss Chloe!! You are very kind. I am so glad that I found this site! God always blesses me! He is so good!! I am very honored to be a part of this community and I am grateful as well!! May God bless you. You are a bright light for others!!!

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to BluuAngel]

Thank you so very much for your kind words, especially when you are suffering so much {{{hugs}}}

Always here

Chloe x

[Greyone]

HI BluuAngel and welcome back.

I am so sorry to hear of your and your son losing your beloved father at this time of celebration and coming such an interval after your mother nine years earlier. You can be relieved that your son has counselling available and I hope this works out for him.

I am sure that here, in this community you will find the support to give you greater strength to support your role as mother and grieving daughter. I hope you, your brother and sister are able to comfort each other as only they can do.

Thank you for sharing such a lovely picture of your folks with us. I hope you have many more good memories in your family of such lovely people.

Good luck and strength to you over the coming weeks and I hope the counselling helps you to heal.

[Hidden]

Hello BluuAngel ,

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your dear Dad. It is early days for all of you and your emotions are likely be close to the surface for sometime. The physical pain you describe is felt so often in grief but it does lessen with time and support. I do hope your son and you will find talking to the grief counsellor at the hospice helpful. The staff are indeed wonderful.

BluuAngel it is a beautiful photograph of your mum and dad and I hope it brings you some comfort. Thank you for sharing it. Thinking of you, take care,

Lottie x

[kenster1 Volunteer]

hi that's heartbreaking news im so sorry to hear of your loss.my thoughts are with you at this sad time god bless.