I hope that you do not mind me posting here. Though not recently bereaved myself, a close friend of mine has just lost her husband very suddenly, and totally unexpectedly. He was only 40 years old, apparently fit and well. They have two young children together.
My friend and I have been pals since primary school and are now in our early thirties. We do not do a great deal together in our adult lives as it goes, but are still good friends.
She does have a huge amount of support from family and friends which is of course good, but I am trying to figure out how best to do my part in helping her through this. I know that there is no right or wrong way of getting through such a thing, but thus far, all I have done is offer truckloads of sympathy, empathy, understanding and love. I have let her know that she is in my thoughts everyday, and that if she needs anything at all then she just has to ask. I have specifically offered to get some shopping done and walk the dog, but she is yet to take me up on these which is totally fine, and understandable given that her Mum is staying with her too. I have also been sending a text every other day, but don't pressure her to respond if she doesn't feel like it.
In terms of suggestions, I briefly mentioned she should maybe consider writing down how she is feeling, especially if she might be struggling to get the words out right now. I also thought it would be a good idea to keep a notebook by her bed so that she can jot down anything she is feeling while she inevitably can't sleep. I also thought that perhaps writing her dearly departed a letter, or several letters, could help? Do you think this would be a good idea? I don't want to upset her by suggesting something that might cause her more pain, but may gently push the idea if it seems like it may help. I also thought it could help if she were to get out for a bit of fresh air? Just in the garden, not anywhere busy.
In time, I thought I may try an encourage her out for a short walk, a bit of lunch or something, but it's very early days for this at the moment - the funeral has not long taken place.
Sorry, I am rambling on now. If I am honest, I am finding it difficult at this early stage to know what to do, and to find a balance between not being a pain in the rear-end and not doing enough. I want to be there and support her, but also feel as though she needs to rest and come to terms with this, so it's, it's just, difficult. I appreciate that no one person grieves the same , but would be very grateful if anyone could offer any advice at all.