My sammy

[jonnyd01]

In a couple of weeks it will be 2 years since i lost my beautiful wife to lung cancer after a oh so short 13 week fight....she was 45....and my whole world collapsed around me...2 yrs on and not a days goes by without replaying those dark days even when i think of the good times..of which there were many,i always get drawn back to the illness and how it all ended..Friends and family seem to think that I'm moving on and rarely talk about those times....and to a point I'm trying to...but inside I'm still full of grief and utter sadness and though it dulls it never goes and to be fair i probably never want it to. What i wanted to get over in this post is that life/time does march on regardless but will never be the same and its ok to cry and be sad and that may never go...but do the best you can in living your life....i have found that nothing fazes me anymore and i don't worry about things like i used to i face them as nothing can be as bad as what happened...and as we all know life is fragile and far far to short. john

[chloe40 Administrator]

Hello jonnyd01

A very warm welcome to Bereavement Care & Share. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your dear wife. Her illness was very short and forgive me for saying but I feel you haven't had the opportunity to talk about her since your loss. You may want to consider Bereavement Counselling John? it will give you the opportunity to discuss how you feel in our own time.

Our Forum is the perfect place for you to pop in whenever you wish, we will do all we can to support you and I thank you for posting, it is always helpful for our members and I hope it helps you too.

Warm wishes

Chloe

[Hidden]

Hi I am so sorry for your loss. 2 years isn't very long to still be grieving, but at least now you can think of the good times as well as the bad. You are right - there is no format for grief and anything which makes you feel a bit better is healthy for us.

I know when I lost my first very close family member, my father, 8 years ago I felt that the world had changed and become out of focus a bit. I recognised dimly even then that my world had changed forever. I didn't get the same reaction when my mother died so I presume it only happens with the first loss. I hold them both very close to my heart and rarely a day goes by when I don't think about them and mourn..

I had to recognise like you that life has to go on and we have to find a way to continue living and to be as happy as possible given our constraints.

Give yourself all the time you need love.

[2stroke]

jonnyd01

Seems like ,at that time my wife had pacreatic cancer,we nursed her at home,watching everyday as she lost weight and withered away.I think we are so lucky to have had in our lives someone so loving, many others will never have the pleasure of knowing.2015 Was a hard time for me to get over.It was after losing her 3 months prior that I had my first stroke.it was like a broken heart i'm sure.

[Natsteveo]

2stroke my mumdied of pancreatic cancer it was the most horrific but quick death ive ever come across..the hospital thought she had a cyst on her liver turned out she had secondary liver cancer which meant it was somewhere else and yes it was her pancreas they gave my mum 6/9 months she died 7weeks after diagnosis it was horrific she suffered so so badly and withered away like your lovely wife ttoo it was a silent killer and so brutal I feel for you with the loss of your lovely wife I too hit rock bottom when she passed never been the same since if im honest.

Nat x

[2stroke]

Natzsteveo.

Hope you have some peaceful rest with the awful memory of the demise of loved ones .

[jonnyd01]

Life can be so so cruel......i do hope thats when its are turn we are all reunited with our loved ones xx