misinterpretation when speaking

[Amiwrong]

I am new here and also newly diagnosed as an older adult. I have noticed that some people take things I say the wrong way (some people because it seems people in my life who are also neurodivergent I don’t have an issue with). The words I choose in my sentences can be an issue, but also the way I say it. I’m often surprised when people react negatively when it wasn’t my intention. I also notice I often don’t use enough words to explain myself. Here’s a great example: my partner out of the blue says “I’m giving my car to my daughter” and my reply was “No”. Now he was offended because it’s his car, not mine. The conversation went further and got heated and long story. But my “no” was supposed to sound more light hearted than demanding or authoritative or however he took it. I thought it was obvious that it was a no meaning nooo, I love that car. Why did I not expand on “no”? I have no idea lol. I didn’t think I had to because I thought my tone was enough, but I guess my tone didn’t come out like it was supposed to.

This kind of thing happens a lot with my partner, and with strangers, but not with family.

Is this something that stems from asd? Or is it just me because I lack in communication skills having been an introverted, extremely quiet person with few relationships most of my life?

[JessFM]

My heart gpes out to you, I am the same and have this same problem many times which is sooooooo frustrating so i understand what you are going through. I struggle so much with communication whether that be body language or verbal.

[Amiwrong in reply to JessFM]

It makes sense then that we would be anxious speaking socially. Even when I respond with humour it can come out wrong. Sometimes I can catch it and follow with “that sounded rude but wasn’t meant to be” or something like that, but not all situations allows for an explanation follow up lol. By the time I realize I said something wrong with my partner he’s already upset and then I’m upset with him because he’s upset with me.

Body language I I thought I was ok with but a while ago my partner said I was hard to read. I mean I knew I could be awkward (often don’t know how I should be sitting or standing), but jeez I can’t win lol. It is frustrating as you said.

Are you in a relationship with these challenges?