Hey!

[Ails95]

Hey! I'm 17 Scottish lass and have autism. I have been very lucky with the way my life has turned out and am more than willing to give people advise with how to improve you're learn ( as passing exams was very difficult for me) to the more simple things like how to improves you're communication skills, eye contact, and many many more! I would also love to hear from other people and about there experiences as i have never been able to meet lots of people with autism and I would love to help others as I never got enough help!

[elfiie]

hi alis

im amum with 2 children on the spectrum a dughter 11 and son 4 anoter son is 5 and not on the spectrum

would love to hear any advice on how to get my daughter though high school safely

idk if i can be any help to you but hear always

elfiie

[Ails95 in reply to elfiie]

Hey Elfiie, the only advise which i have is not to isolate her. I don't know how badly autistic she is but if she knows the risks of things, she will learn them through time. Also get her into as many clubs as possible. I went to the army cadets which helpvalot of people as it has structure but also has more people than within school so should give her a better chance of making friends ina safe environment who probably have more stuff incommen with her. If she wants to ask me anything just tell her to ask on here x

[elfiie in reply to Ails95]

meg isnt very good at computers and id wory about her having accses to a forum were i dont know the peopl and cant moniter wold love her to have somone she could talk to about whats happeing with her though, im confused as you can see

[Ails95 in reply to elfiie]

Well i'm happy to talk to her if you would like? Even if you ask a school nurse or something to talk things through with her, that might help. And her computer skills will get better. How about MSN ? Where she can talk to her family on it, which would improve her computer skills but have it on you're account so you can monitor it? x

[wallflower_fairy]

Hi Alis

Well, I'm an 18 year old girl and half Scottish - oh and with a diagnosis of ASD - so I guess we're similar in a few ways.

Welcome aboad and hope we can chat soon. This site is just getting started so probably more people will join.

xx

[wallflower_fairy]

P.S. it's always nice to meet girls in a similar situation to me. As various clubs I've attended are malestream - so I felt isolated in that way too. Just to let you know, I tend to ramble! xx

[Ails95 in reply to wallflower_fairy]

Hey Funky fairy!I ramble all the time and am a bit random anvthe amle stream thing is the same as me hahah! Hope we van talk later on !

[wallflower_fairy in reply to Ails95]

Me too I look forward to it. How are you today? xx

[Ails95]

Great thanks You ? x

[wallflower_fairy]

Good, I'm happy for you! Yeah I'm ok thank you. Kind of sleepy though.

It's great they've managed to create a blog for this isn't it? It gives people a chance to support eachother. I'm sure both of us will a great help to future members joining the site.

So have you had a nice day today? xxxx

[Ails95 in reply to wallflower_fairy]

Defiantly! And it isn't that, I don't want people to think that because they're child has autism that they are never going to get anywhere. Just need support and that's all! And I have had a wonderful day!!!! How about you x

[wallflower_fairy]

I agree, I think people always make assumptions based on limited knowledge. With the right intervention children can learn in a way that is suited to them, and be equally successful as many others who are not on the autistic spectrum. People with autism just do it their own way. Ways that I think are less accepted in society for not being the social norm, because it's not the 'same' way everyone else does a certain thing. I don't think people realise how special we are. What we have to offer because in some ways our Autism gives us the edge, I think the way in which we notice the refined details others can't. It's a beautiful thing. The only reason people don't always see what we have to offer is because we are little bit slower, and it takes us that little bit longer to express ourselves. But through more support groups like this, and better education of others, I think people will start to realise us.

Yesterday was ok thanks. I went into sixthform and chatted to a few people - but as I was feeling poorly, I was feeling a little 'on the edge' of the group. I am usually able to blend in, but my guard was down and I was a little slower trying to take in what my friends were saying and responding at the giving time, trying to understand the meaning behind the words etc. I was a little more quiet and kept myself apart from the group which made me feel sad really. I can usually be sociable when I'm on form, but when I'm ill, I find I'm more vulnerable. I guess more vulnerable then other people who are ill and don't have the condition.

Today was a difficult day. I stayed off because I'm still ill - worse in fact. Unfortunately my parents didn't listen to me and made me feel very anxious. I've been having a lot of time of recently for lots of health reasons, I won't go into it now. Anyway sorry for rambling.

Enough about me and I hope you've had a lovely day yourself? xxxx

[wallflower_fairy]

Sorry Ails. I've just read my comment back (as ya do) and found it's full of mistakes. I'm really not concentrating today because I'm not well. Sometimes the words make sense in my head but don't come out how I expect them to on the page, they appear in all the wrong places and I can understand how it can be confusing for other people. Where is says: 'I think people will start to realise', it is meant to be written as the word 'this' on the end, not 'us' among other errors. Please don't hesitiate to ask if you have questions about what I'm going on about! xx

[Ails95 in reply to wallflower_fairy]

Haah I complete understood it hehe ! And I know what you mean! It's like being in a bubble! I'm glad you had a okay day, hope you feel better though xcxx

[wallflower_fairy]

A bubble is exactly what it is!

Thankyou. Even at 18 I still find things like noise difficult as I always did. If I can get through the day without feeling panicky then it's a good day for me. I'm sure you get what I mean though so I'll stop rambling.

Did you have a nice day today? What are you doing since leaving school? I'm still in the sixth form. xxxx

[Ails95]

Heheh no problem! Rambling is much better than silence! And I am either going to do animal behaviour or nursing! I've applied for them so waiting to see what else comes back as I have two conditionals and I had a great day! How about you x

xxxxxx

[wallflower_fairy]

Sounds brilliant. I am reading a book about cats at the moment which is very interesting and insightful. I love helping people and making them feel better too - this is more emotional support. I am the Psychology route and want to carry it on - love it. I've applied for a few Uni's - two which come under Developement and Developmental Disorders - which would include autism - however that's not the reason I'm doing it as I'm interested in children and their behaviour, how their personalities and behaviour develope etc, anyway, and it will great learning about things like Dyeslexia (don't know if the spelling is right) and the reasons behind it. The other thing I've applied for it Physical and Mental Health - slightly different but equally fascinating because I think there is definitely a link between stress and illness, one more complicated than we realise. The others I have applied for are just plain Psychology, I love all areas of it really (well apart from criminal I suppose, it's interesting but not for the faint hearted. Some aspects of that even, have been worth while though ) If I do Psychology I would probably want to do this alongside English Language as it's one of my fav subjects, coming a very close second to Psychology and something that I enjoyed before my Psychology days anyway. It's also one of the 'important' ones, so will put me in good stead. Unis offer additional studies and that anyway I think. I've finally obtained the full house of conditional offers which I'm very happy about, but can't make any decisions until I visit them individually, the second of which I visit tommorow. So we'll just have wait and see I suppose. Oh yes, and then there is getting the grades. Doing well in my Soc, Eng Lang and Psychology Alevels. So I guess it's just fingers crossed (plus a bit of hard work and self belief) and we'll see what happens. I do however, want to do more than one thing. I am a naturally creative person so would love to get some books published. I have sang from a young age too. Good luck with everything in terms of what you want to to do. (Je suis desole avec la rambling! ) xxxx

[wallflower_fairy]

By the way I'm glad you had a lovely day as well, I'm happy for you. I think we should both give ourselves a 'pat on the back' as they say, as we have both done really well, leading fufilling lives despite our difficulties! xx

[Ails95 in reply to wallflower_fairy]

Don't you worry about you're rambling It's a good thing! It's you! And I love psychology and English too! But Biology has always been my " thing". I started to have a passion at three, couldn't do what I wanted when I was five as I had " autism" so I gave up, didn't try but when I went to high school I decided I was going to fight back! I've got two of my choices back, both conditionals. I applied for nursing in my home town but I would really love to do A&E which I know is strange for someone with autism as they don't do well under stress but I actually preform well in stress. My other is a applied biological sciences and zoology which I was really pleased about! As I have done a lot better than I should! My other three courses are animal biology with animal behaviour ( which is basically zoology) which I haven't heard back from yet but I should hear back very soon! At the moment I don't know what I want to do ( I can decide what is for the best - that's one of my autism things) as I like them both, and it kind of panics me to think which is for the best, as I love them both so much !!!!!

And we are doing very well even with our difficulties. I hate people who think people with autism are stupid.... really annoys me! I think it's great that you are going into the route you want, as it does fascinate me too ! But I prefer animal psychology rather than human, less judgemental! And I don't know how you spell dyslexia as I am dyslexic! Why do people spell words in the oddest ways when the people who can't spell have to use the words! Lol !!! xxxxx

[wallflower_fairy]

Hi I just saw your comment but I'm afraid it has to be a fairly short reply for now. I have to rush off soon.

I think you spelt 'dyslexia' right - I saw it written down somewhere on one of my Uni visit days and yours was the correct version. I would never have realised you were dyslexic but then again I don't know a lot about the condition. I know! It's ironic isn't it? The way people spell words doesn't make sense at the best of times, all these added letters which they don't need. Rules which appear to make sense but have irregualars when it isn't neccessary. All the extra letters which makes the word look longer, silent letters. Having Eng Lang and debates about education within the course it's an interesting area for me.

And yeah I hate all the cliches associated with Autism (among other conditions) the one that makes me wants to clench my teeth the most is when they describe the characteristic about not being capable of love - it makes my 'blood boil'. I think it's a load of rubbish, I will explain why soon. I think a lot of our behaviour (people with autism) is misinterpreted and people make the wrong assumptions. Which is another irony because those who consider themselves 'experts' believe they are good at reading people. That's my experiences anyway.

Certainly the one about people with autism being 'stupid' annoys me a great deal too. It's infuriating isn't it? The amount of times I have experienced that as a child or even a teen - not so much nowadays - with people telling me either to my face or behind my back (except it wasn't 'behind my back', it was right in ear shot as when said people would describe me as 'stupid' right in my presence they didn't think I could understand what they were saying about me down to my aledged stupidity. It was very dehumanizing and made me very angry. But TBH Ails, I think people who do that are stupid themselves for thinking it/acting that way - it's just complete and utter ignorance. Yes, I can see what you mean.

I have very much enjoyed reading your story but I really have to rush off so I'll read it again and reply in full very soon - just wanted to acknowledge that. xxxx

[wallflower_fairy]

Hey! I'm so sorry I said I'd reply properly didn't I? Just didn't have the time. But I will soon (ish?) don't worry. I will make sure of it. xxxx

[wallflower_fairy]

Hi again, I said I would reply so I will now. Sorry about all the confusion before. It sounds like you've got some great plans and I'm glad you've found something you're so interested in. I've always been interested in Biology even though I've struggled with it and would love to have another go at learning the subject. The same goe for animals - their behaviour which I am always captivated by, right now I'm reading a book called Cat Watching - by Desmond Morris? You may have heard of him but if not I have a sneaking suspicion his work would be supportive of your studies - he is a zoologist and has done loads of publications. The amont of things I have learnt about cats which I didn't already know is amazing, and I believe by learning about their nature I have been more able to bond with my own two. I have 2 cats and a dog, btw. Do you have pets at home?

I just want to say I am inspired by your story and - I hope you don't mind me saying - but I definitely see a bit of myself in what you say in it. People often doubred me too. It frustrated me a great deal because I knew I had potential but didn't feel I was fufilling it. I got my chance to sign in sixthform when I surpised a lot of people and I am praised and respected to this day. Also, people wouldn't know, to look at me, that I had ASD either.

It just goes back to my original point that we're better than people give us credit for. I hope if I do get into Psychology I changed attidutes about such issues because I do understand what you mean about it having areas of judgement (especially Freud!) but I know it has the best intentions and through my own empathy into the experience of having ASD I hope I can find more suitable ways of helping future generations who have it. I have already made a difference to the ASD Special Needs team as well as spoken to parents who worry about their kids. People in authority do things differently now because of me - which I'm so joyed by.

I understand what you mean about stress too, it depends on the type of stress for me but at the times it has deinitely been my 'fuel'. I know people with autism are known for being 'overwhelmed' by too much stimulation which I understand, but I always need some otherwise I'd go mad!

I hope we can chat again soon. (Keep in touch!)

wanderingwallflower xx

[wallflower_fairy]

tut! sorry.

I got my chance to 'shine' in sixth form!*

[Ails95]

Hey thanks for replying and no worries How have you been and no I haven't heard of him! I shall need to look him up. Temple Grandin is an animal behaviourist and has kinda used her autism to help her in her way. You should read her books! They are really interesting!

i have had lots of different pets! I've hand reared many animals including an otter which was amazing! I have at the moment two dogs, a tortoise, three chickens, two Shetland ponies, three cats and four cockatiels! Not all in the same house haha! Half of them are up at my dads house But I have always wanted a parrot since I was three but I can't have one until I leave home as my dog eats birds and my gran has four birds up their already! But I steal my aunties one all the time! I think the image of people with autism needs to change. As people are so mean sometimes to people who have physical disabilities and think it's okay to judge by look. It's really awful and I hope you do! I always get so anger at them and i tend to tell them about myself and you would never know that i was! Also it's weird if you tell people straight away? They just don't treat you the same at all! It's only a label for being simply amazing

I'm sure you will change this incorrect image as you seem very confident and passionate about it! You will get into you're course but put yourself down! I also think it is great you are helping people with autism ! I tutor a wee boy down my street who has really bad autism but he has improved so much and went skiing with the school which was a massive step for him! I'm glad you've talked to the parents though as some parents are so frightened of their kids having Autism or something similar and wrap them up in bubble wrap. It's a shame as it sometimes makes them worse! I was NEVER bubble wrapped. I always had to make decisions even if I didn't want to! Also biology is so difficult sometimes! Not the actual knowledge but getting it to paper is soo difficult for me! As I have should a round about way of saying things hehe!

Nice speaking! Speak soon Aileen ! X

[rosie-in-the-garden]

How hopeful are we, the family of a little boy who has high end autism, after reading your comments. Your words have reminded us that autism is a condition and not the person if that makes sense. Our nieces son is still our nieces son and a lovely little boy with an incredible personality, he just needs a different approach to help him make the most of his journey through life and so any advice you can give, anything that has helped you along in your life would be so welcome. You come across as such a loving and caring person, long may you be just that. Thank you

Rosie-in-the-garden

[Ails95]

Hey Rosie- in - the - garden! The only advise I can give you to help him out is to listen as it's frustrating when they don't listen. I think the only real reason the way I am is because of the way I was brought up? Like I was really badly autistic when younger, but I was almost forced to do things I didn't want too and even though I am still autistic, the symptoms if you like are not half as bad as they used to be. Like I couldn't let anyone touch me, couldn't wear tight cloths or anything but now, it doesn't really bother me that much. But as he is old I assume, he just need you guys to explain if he does something wrong and that it isn't good as if you don't and what he should do instead. He'll never know if you don't tell him! Also let him out! Don't bubble wrap him! If he lives near a school, let him walk when he's older, let him go into town with his mates or with a cousin so it isn't with his mum and dad all the time! That's really important as it means, let him go and experience things on his own and will give him more confidence and will make him speak to people who he might not know as well. But only if he is capable. As I don't know how badly autistic he is, but that's what worked for me in general! If you need to ask anything else just go for it And if he wants to ask anything, just you ask it for him and I'll reply back as soon as possible.! Hoped this helped! x

[Springsong]

Hi, I'm a 34yr old mum with Aspergers myself & my 3yr old daughter has Autism. You're right that schools don't always recognise or provide the support needed.

I recall my school days, feeling like I was 'drowning' or 'closed in' amongst crowded corridoors or having to sit in assembly. I would wait for people to approach me rather than approaching them. I was emotionally bullied for not 'fitting in' choosing my own interests rather than the stereotypical ones (fashion, dating, parties, teenage magazines, soap operas were of little interest to me but I enjoyed collecting comic books & postcards).

My daughter is still young at present & I am having to start thinking about her schooling & what support she may need. She is at nursery at present & whilst she has a lovely time most days she is often playing alone & when she does try to interact she is often misunderstood or seen as being violent/aggressive because she has no speech so doesn't know how to ask people to play without pulling/pushing & shrieking at them to convey her wish. It is frustrating for all parties concerned, those trying to understand her & her wanting to be understood.

[meandmyautism]

For support and friendship join me and my autism on Facebook