After care??: I struggle to even read... - Action on Postpar...

Action on Postpartum Psychosis

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After care??


I struggle to even read anything to do with pp, personal story I get chocked up. my brain has blocked I don't personally remember alot, 6 years ago I had my eldest boy and was sectioned didn't stay in mother and baby unit though. I've had another two boys since and not suffered, have big issues relating to when I was unwell, feelings of guilt... Once I was discharged to go home that was it never spoke about it since :( x

4 Replies

Hi there - well done for taking the first step towards coming to terms with what happened - this is a great forum and has really helped me,and others, feel not so alone. You will see that many other women have suffered with PP and have made excellent recoveries and benefitted from the support this forum offers. I have only quite recently joined - I felt trapped by my memories of the trauma of suffering PP in 1995 and 2000- the first time I spent 5 months in a MBU and the second time the medication etc meant I didn't need to go to the MBU. I have been plagued by memories ever since, having no one to talk to due to the shame I felt as I literally lost my mind - but I'm really benefiitting from the support of the forum. All the best 😃



Welcome to the forum. As Jasmine says you've taken a first step coming on here, which must be really hard as of course there are many different PP stories on here, and people writing at different stages of recovery.

I had PP 5 years ago, in fact it is my son's birthday today! I haven't had any other children (yet). You have been brave to have two more children, and I am so pleased you stayed well.

I'm sorry though that you have found it so hard to talk about, and you feel so guilty about when you were unwell. As Jasmine says, this is a really safe place, where you can say anything and people will support you and understand because we have all been there. I have found that my episode of PP was a huge trauma, that in some ways I will probably be coming to terms with all my life.

I think all of us deal with it in different ways. It sounds like I have dealt with it in the opposite way to you in some way, I will talk to anyone and everyone about it - I don't know why. It was my way of processing it. I was very lucky to be in a family where my parents were very open, and didn't mind me talking about my experience to come to terms with it, nor my partner, though he of course went through his own trauma when I was ill. I also had a really supportive work at the time (I worked in care) where lots of people were very open about all kinds of struggles in their lives so I felt ok talking to some people about what happened.

But I think each of us need to do what feels right, and talk when we feel able to. And it so depends on our indivdual circumstances, personality etc. I do hope this forum will help you, there is a reason why you have reached out, so perhaps now you can 'talk' a bit on here about your experience and this will help you? I do hope so... We are here, whatever you want to 'say'...

Take care


LilybethVolunteer in reply to Ellie_at_APP


I'm so glad you found the courage to come to the forum. Although my first PP was 40+ years ago I felt exactly the same as you ..... lots of unfounded guilt and shame and my illness was never spoken about in the family. That's very difficult isn't it because until I 'found' APP I thought I must have done something really bad for 'it' never to be spoken about. I was sectioned to general psychiatric care, without my son for four months and in different mental health units. I had PP a second time and was sectioned again but treatment has changed so much for the better now and specialist MBU care is available. I'm glad you were well after having your other children.

Thankfully, I replied to an article in the local news years ago from Prof Jones of APP relating to research. I had the pleasure of meeting him and some of his team and after sight of my medical records he was able to confirm my diagnosis of PP. From then on I have felt so much better about myself. I've realised, as you should, that it wasn't my fault, I had no choice and I shouldn't be ashamed.

This is such a great place to 'meet' other mums with similar experiences. I hope you will find as I did that 'talking' on the forum is a great relief as we have all been in the same boat. It's such a relief to realise that you're not on your own and instead of feeling guilt you should be proud of what you have endured for the love of your family.

Take good care of yourself. There is no one here to judge or offend so I hope you can unwind to release all the stress you have kept hidden for six years.

Hi there , I so relate to what you are saying. I was sectioned after the birth of my first child 34 years ago. The guilt, shame, embarrassment the loss of confidence and self esteem, the sense of isolation. There really was no after then, one appointment psychiatric out patient appointment. I just buried those feelings and got on with my life and told myself that I was lucky, I had a beautiful healthy daughter to look after and had my son with no problems. I never spoke about it, not even to my husband, it was to painful.

I found this forum by chance and couldn't believe that so many women suffer(ed) the same condition. For the first time , I could talk about without shame or embarrassment with people who really understood. I couldn't believe how supportive and welcoming the posts were, It was wonderful and liberating to unlock the past and at last come to terms with it.

I am now confident to talk about it to friends and work colleagues and believe that the more people know about this condition the more it will help to reduce the isolation and there needs to be a lot more understanding and resources to support women and their families within the NHS.

Each of us deals with it in our own way but you have taken that first step in coming to the forum and you are among friends here. All the very best to you. Vee Xx

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