I am struggling alot mentally and have had to call up the crisis team over the weekend and go to a and e. It's amazing that when you feel you need hospital they won't admit you but when you don't want it you get admitted.
I hope that I don't come across as a really depressing poster but I'm going through such mental anguish.
Hi JosephineFay, I am so sorry that you have had such a tough week and that you needed to call the crisis team and go to A&E. Hope that they get to see you soon and you get the help that you need. Remember you are such a valuable person, take good care, I will be thinking of you
Hi Josephine,
Sorry to hear you're not doing well at the moment. Mental health is so, so tricky in the sense of you know what and how you're feeling and yet unlike a broken leg etc no one else can see what's going on and it's incredibly frustrating.
May I ask if anything has changed in your life recently that may have triggered this feeling? A change of job causing added pressure, increase/decrease/change of medication?
Did you manage to get the help you needed when you attended hospital?
Hope you're ok
N x
Hi N, I have had a decrease of medication. I have been reducing by very tiny amounts and had been having poor sleep about 4 hours since November. But the insomnia got worse with each reduction and my mood has plummeted completely. I was on a specific brand of the antihistamine Promethazine but the pharmacy can no longer get that in so I noticed a change in my mood from when I changed brands.
So sorry to hear this. Sleep is so so important for recovery and thereafter so I really feel for you. I also suffered with poor sleep when I tried to come off Olanzapine, I didn't feel like I slept for the two weeks I was off it. Was the antihistamine helping you sleep for longer periods? I've heard these help. CMHT is amazing, I self referred to them whilst I was struggling and they've been a big help especially with trying to navigate coming off Olanzapine again. Hope you're feeling better since the referral.N x
The hospital referred me to the crisis team who are going to refer me to the cmht.
HiJosephineFay I hope you managed to get some useful help for how you are feeling. We are all hear to support you, so don’t feel bad for posting how you truly feel, and reaching out on this forum. It’s what it is here for.
I too recently had to call the crisis team, and these moments happen. Navigating your mental health after all you have been through is so difficult! Being honest about how you feel and getting help shows how strong and brave you are! 💜
Hi there thank you for kindly being in touch. Well I was referred to the crisis team by 111 and a and e. I went to the crisis office today and it was a pretty horrendous experience. The other patients there were mainly men who were all very aggressive and looked in a terrible way even though they were not there for the crisis team. The women too looked uncared for and in a pretty bad way. In comparison I looked normal but this is what I'm finding in secondary mental health services. I'm not meeting other women who are like me only on the APP website.
That sounds awful! I know the NHS are really struggling with mental health services, and it’s hard to find the right place to go, and where the best help really is.
Does your area have any sort of local in person peer support or groups you could go to? I wonder if you have anyone who has gone through PP in your area you can meet and talk with. I know this might be hard to find, and I’m not sure what it’s like in your area of the UK. I find that very useful to talk to a peer support worker face to face when you are going through such a tough time. This forum is always here too, but in person makes such a difference when you are struggling.
I know it’s also hard to be motivated when you feel so low, but doing little positive things for yourself might help. Remembering what you are like when you are at your best, and what brings you joy. You are never alone 🙏
Thank you so so much. I am really struggling with feeling so wretched. The only caring women I've come across is on this forum. I have been rejected by so many others in real life. I'm not sure why but in secondary mental health services in my area its only men with substance abuse issues, alcoholics that seem to be at the clinics or at the peer support groups. There are very few women and everyone kind of keeps to themselves. There is no real feeling of connection add to that that my 20 year old son has also been talking seriously about suicide. He does not know that I also feel this way. We are a case point in how a mother and baby neglected by family and services are both socially very isolated and both feel like we are not loved, seem, valued enough to exist. My son is a lovely handsome boy but finding himself rejected by his peers as we've moved houses and senior schools so much. I am desperately unhappy and so is he.
I’m so sorry you both feel this way. It is hard to find meaningful connections sometimes, and everyone is always so busy, or they don’t have time to talk deeply about things.
If you are at all spiritual, or religious, sometimes finding like minded people and groups to connect with can help. Also remember you have each other. That mother and son bond is always there to keep each of you going. Sending warm prayers 🙏
Thank you Saff. We went to the mind crisis cafe for me to talk yesterday. Unfortunately it was nothing like a cafe and more like a psychiatric unit. Which is something I need to feed back to mind and our nhs trust. I and one other lady were there waiting to talk to someone. My husband and son came with me and today my son wants to go for himself to try talking to someone. I'm hoping there is someone nice there. I had a nice lady yesterday but there was another lady who wasn't very nice. I was just thinking about spiritual things. My son has tried engaging with 2 Church youth groups and the other young people blanked him. I'm wondering if some of what he and I have gone through with services and family could be to do with the fact that we are a mixed family and my son is mixed heritage. We have just arrived at the crisis cafe and my son actually stipulated that he didn't want a black counsellor. He has experienced racism from black people and white. Then as we arrived he was allocated a black man as a counsellor. So I'm hoping that it goes okay. This moment could put him off counselling permanently. He's seeking help but very fragile and has had very many bad experiences in his young life.
I hope his session went well, and that you meet more good people. It’s also positive that you are seeking counselling and going to places like the crisis cafe to talk about how you are both feeling. That’s a really important thing to keep doing. You should both be proud of yourselves for taking those steps.
Also, I agree, sometimes being of mixed heritage can result in being treated differently. It adds its own set of challenges in terms of mental health too.
One thing that always helps me is spending time in nature. I find it helps me connect with that bigger picture, and Feel part of something bigger. In nature, you can find spiritual spaces like churches and temples. I find it very grounding. I really hope you both find some deep meaningful connections soon.
Thank you Saff, he had a good talk with the counsellor. But I think we need to find him some affordable counselling. Your messages have been wonderful. I wanted to ask are you back at work?
So glad you found my messages helpful 💜 I think talking with other mothers who have been through PP helps me a lot too. You feel less alone.
I returned to work in January gradually, and found I needed to get back to some normality, and reconnect with my old self in a way. My little one was about 8 months old in Jan, and she is thriving being at nursery with other children. It's lovely to see and makes me feel relief that she wasn't too affected by me getting PP when she was 9 weeks. Also, my 4 year old doesn't seem to have been affected by it - she was 3 at the time. They give me strength to get through it and it's so lovely that you have a strong bond with your son. That makes me look forward to them being older, and reminds me to just make sure I enjoy their journey of developing their own lives as they grow so fast! So sweet 😍
Hey Jo, thinking about you over here. I’m sorry you’re feeling so down. There’s nothing I can say to help you but just know you’re not alone, many of us have been in that place.
When I was feeling so bad I did a lot of writing and art work to try to express my feelings. Now I often play music on my piano and the sound soothes me. Sometimes I just play the saddest songs I have and kind of wallow in it for a while. Have you ever tried writing or drawing? It doesn’t have to be artistic, just using crayons or a simple child’s paint box in colors that express your feelings can be therapeutic.
I’m not in the place you are but have experienced a great deal of anxiety lately and I have kind of a feeling of doom hanging over me that I’m having trouble shaking. I feel a lot of fear and like the world is about to end and there’s nothing I can do about it.
Sometimes all you can do is just put one foot in front of the other and wait for the bad times to end. Just keep saying to yourself, this too shall pass.
Hugs to you
Hey there survived with color thank you for your kindness. It has been an awful three weeks. I cannot concentrate on much apart from the strongest urge to want to end it all. I have never felt it as strongly as I do at the moment. I would love to draw but at the moment my mind is so low that I can only get through each day. Unfortunately too the clinic where mental health services is located is not very nice at all and when I went today I didn't see anyone at all like me there. Mainly men who were quite aggressive and in pretty bad shape. I needed hope but instead found hopelessness. My thoughts go out to you as I know that you too have a private battle with your physical health. Your message has made me feel a little less alone for today.
Big big hugs from the UK
Jo
You do have a friend here. I wish we were closer. I pray you will find someone you can reach out to.
Thank you it means so much for you to say that.
Hello Jo,
thinking of you at such a difficult time and will write more on private chat x
Hi Jo, I'm so sorry you've had such a difficult weekend. It's so good that you reached out for support.
I hope you've been offered some support?
How are you feeling today? I know you are really struggling to sleep, I really hope you've managed to get some, as I imagine that is the thing that is most difficult.
Thinking of you Jo
Ellie X
Hi Ellie, still struggling and very exhausted indeed. Thanks so much for reaching out. All your messages are helping me to keep trying to remain here and not to give into the strong urge to end it all. I've lost so many friendships because of my illness. It's been pretty brutal with people just cutting off all contact. Very hard to deal with. The forum helps because we talk with meaning but in real life so many people I know just text all the time, they won't do a phone call or video call or a meet up. That adds to the trauma and feelings of loss.
Never worry about being a 'depressing poster'. This is exactly what the forum is about - helping each other. Your honesty and openness about your struggles can be read by other people with similar problems so it helps everyone.
I am relieved that you contacted the crisis team because I know you haven't been feeling the best.
Are you in hospital now?
Thinking of you and hoping something positive comes out of this.
Hello no I'm not in hospital which may be a blessing as I went to the office of the crisis team its where the community mental health and it was in a shocking state. The patients who were there were in a terrible state physically. They weren't in crisis but were clearly long term ill and in a very bad way. Over medicated and likely never to work again. Also there was hardly any women but mainly men with likely substance abuse issues.
Thanks for checking on me. I moved GP surgery from St George's catchment area in London where I lived in Kingston to Bedford where I'm currently staying. The environment in Bedford is pretty shocking for mental health services.
Oh dear, good luck with everything. Hopefully there's some help for you
Hi Jo,
I'm sorry these last few weeks have been so tough. I'm glad you've been able to reach out and that you reached out for support over the weekend.
It's hard when we can't see people we relate to and I do hope you'll be able to find and make even just one meaningful connection locally - I know it can make such a huge difference.
Please do continue to write whenever it helps, we're all here to listen.
Take good care and I hope you get some more support now you're being referred to the CMHT.
Best wishes,
Jenny x
Thank you Jenny just getting your messages of support mean everything. I'm wanting support for my son too. He's traumatised from years of me being ill and is feeling suicidal at times. I wonder if there is a group for adult children of mums who've had psychosis.
There is a group for families of people with PP on the Postpartum.net site here in the US. Do you have access to that? I don't know if your son could access the live groups and the time difference could be a difficulty, it's just a thought. Seems like if we could access the APP group from here, maybe you could view PSI from there? I'm not certain. There MUST be other resources - PP is uncommon, but not rare.
Have you actually asked if anyone you text with would be willing to talk to you in person? Sometimes if you ask someone directly they will be more likely to say yes. You might feel more connected being with someone in person. If you have asked and they said no, do you know why?
Write to us and let us know how you are.
When is the right time to tell your child you are not well?
Not realising um a mother 
Real or not
I don't enjoy being a parent - I feel like I don't have a life anymore
