Don't want to cry off!

[moley64]

I am due to speak at a conference on Friday that is outside of the area that I live in.

I am able to travel within the locality of where I live reasonably easily, but have anxiety issues when it comes to being/staying away from home. I am booked into a hotel on Thursday night. I have had a cold for the last 4/5 days which has increased my anxiety considerably. My routine has been disrupted and in particular my exercise. I do not want to cry off and not go just because I am feeling anxious. What I am having difficulty with is the nasty cold related feelings and the anxiety about the trip.

Am feeling very anxious now and do not know what to do.

[Hidden]

Hi moley64

First of all it's great that you're not giving in, I find that half the battle! And you can talk at a conference even better! It's great that people want to listen to what you have to say, you must be very good in your field of work.

In terms of short term help I can only say what I do.

Have you tried breaking down the problem? What are you anxious about? The cold? That's something that can't really be helped but you can aleviate by talking cold medicine. The travelling? Sounds like you're a seasoned travellor and it's only for one night/day. (I often promise myself a treat if I do something I really don't want to!)

Maybe just take a few minutes to break down and analyse what's bothering you and how you can tackle each issue.

I also find a breathing technique useful. It's preferable to do this in a quiet place before you know you're due to go but for 5-10 minutes just sit down, relax yourself, breath in for 4 seconds and out for 7 seconds. It's difficult at first but if you keep going I find it can work. If you find silence unnerving try some relaxing music or even put the TV on at a low volume.

There are also some products on the market that can help. I personally use Rescue Remedy pastil sweets, they use flower essences. You can get them in a variety of forms and can be gotten from mosy health food shop.

When you get to the hotel maybe there is someone you can call or talk to so you don't feel so isolated, even blog here!

I know it's much easier to type all this than do it but hopefully it will be of some help.

Aurora (^-^)

[moley64 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for your helpful suggestions. I think that the feeling of being alone with your difficulty can be a problem. I have been looking forward to this trip. I have been reading Dr Claire Weekes book Essential Help for your nerves which contains a number of gems. I have written down this one " Recovery lies in the places and experiences you avoid". I have avoided staying away from home and welcomed the opportunity to speak out of area.

If the conference was in the area that I live in I would attend and perform well. I would lose myself in the event. I guess my fear is being alone and away from home. Having a panic attack in a strange place and not being able to get home easily. I am unsure why home has so much importance. I have felt anxious and had panic attacks at home?

Many thanks once again. Wishing you every happiness and success.

[Mandy26]

Hi Moley,

Perhaps take some things with you that provide some homely comfort for you? Whenever I travel I always take a book and plenty of magazines and make sure I can have a cup of tea as that's my routine when I'm at home. I had to travel for work a short time ago, I found being in the office away from home fine as I was so busy but was worrying about the evening, I actually found that I got a bit of confidence once I settled in my hotel room. It was so calm and peaceful. I think the quote you have written down is a great one.

I think home can be a comfort zone for many of us, but I always try to think, when I'm at home I'm still on my own. If I was having a bad attack I would call somebody, which you can still do should you feel bad when you are at your location. It's no different in a sense although I know the two can seem worlds apart.

I hope all goes OK.

xxx

[moley64]

Thanks. I think that I will try to have a sense of home from home. I have had in recent times a feeling of managing my anxiety quite well and being back to my old self. A had a feeling of making progress and following a plan. I do not know why feeling poorly with a cold has unsettled me so much. I felt very guilty this morning when I told my wife that I was very unsettled by my cold and the prospect of going on the trip. When I first me my wife I had a good job and a decent income. I am trying return to working full time and saw this trip as being part of the process of returning to work. I felt that in some way that I was letting my wife down. Very best wishes

[Hidden]

There is something about being unwell that heightens that fear of not being able to cope...

It feels a burden too far when your body is weary and your head aches...

You have been managing your anxiety well, and you can do that again....can you remind yourself that this is just a blip, we all have blips when the old fears arise

Please don't feel guilty, you are doing your best, feeling unwell is unsettling, personally I find being unwell can make me feel v shaky even after many years of being well in control of the anxiety that caused me so much pain when I was young.

You can do this, distract yourself, take a walk before going to the conference, take a book you really want to read and a delicious snack perhaps, ..you can reflect too, as you speak at this conference, that there will be several people listening to you who are anxious and feeling much as you were when you wrote your question....shall be thinking of you tomorrow and wishing you well, hope the cold goes soon! Warm regards

Babushka

[moley64]

Thankyou for your lovely message. It is really appreciated. I am going to the conference and will take your advice. Have a smashing weekend.