Anxiety and cancer

[Natbox]

Hi I'm new to the site and wondered how many cancer sufferers are on here? I am 32 and up until May 2011, my life was pretty great. Then I got diagnosed with a really rare incurable cancer and my world crumbled. I've spent the last 15 months in and out of hospital - this has obv caused a lot of stress and anxiety but i just about coped with the help of Lorazapam, family and friends. In March this year I was told I had responded very well to treatment and altho my future is uncertain, things are looking very positive physically. I was so happy... For all of about two days. Then the serious anxiety kicked in- since March I've had severe panic attacks every day, hysterical tears, awful claustrophobia and agrophobia. I am so needy, I find it hard to go anywhere without my partner ( who had to be signed off work with anxiety and depression). I've been to see a psychiatrist who reckons I've got PTSD and panic disorder. Since my diagnosis I've tried CBT, hypnotherapy, reflexology etc.Ive taken citalapram, pregablin and lorazapam and nothing is working long term. Ive tried talking, not talking, crying, going back to work- I currently can't work as I can't even walk out my front door without hyperventilating. My hypnotherapist has suggested a spiritual retreat which im going to attend (if I can) but don't hold out much hope. I feel desperate - all I want to do is go back to work and normalise my life a bit, as I believe distraction is probably my best bet.

Anyone else with any similar stories? Any positive outcomes?

Sorry for the essay and thanks for reading x

[Hidden]

HI there. I have not had cancer not do i want it but i am long suffering panic disorder member who dealt with my father when he had cancer and the daily thoughts and feelings are real. I am like you and daily i go through this feeling of being unable to breathe or go out. When you have depression also it is not good which i also have but i do get through every day some how. I find that doing crosswords is good, writing how i feel is a good way to look at things, you can look back then and try to work out when you felt worse and how you dealt with it. I know its easier said than done but honestly it has worked for me. Take yesterday for instance. I was online replying to a message i received and out the blue i began panicking, wow where did that come from i thought. I was only responding to someone. Well it came because i was replying to someone on here and was talking about it, so i finished my message and went off to make myself a drink. I then sat back at my desk and got myself a card to make. I do this occasionally as it helps you get lost within the making of it because you have to concentrate on doing it and making it look nice.

I would say after about 10 mins i had forgotten all about my breathing and i was back to normal yet again. I know its all easier said than done but sometimes we have to do what we can to take our mind of things and for me it helps.

Hope something of what i have said helps, there are lots of ways you can distract yourself and may other members have put down what they do so maybe a good idea to take a look around the site and see what others have suggested from their experience. Good luck.

[Natbox]

Thanks very much, good tips. Am sorry you suffer so much too. All the best

[Hidden in reply to Natbox]

I know exactly where your coming from, I to suffer from chronic anxiety and have done for over 30 years on and off, sometime more bad than others. everyday is a big battle and effort for which can be exhausting. and it is horrendous. dealing with it is very very hard. I get physical sensations for which i am not coping well with just like you so dont feel you are alone because theres thousands of us, I know this doesnt help, cause my partner is always telling me people are in a lot worse condition than me!! but when your going through the mill statements like that dont help do they.

soon as I wake up I get stomach churning for which ends up in me visiting the toilet, then the heaving start the renching this hurts my stomach. The thought of food or coffee is a no no yet my stomach is empty and churning making me feel worse but I really can not face anything till I settle down a bit. I too am on meds 20mg cipralex, 5mg prochlorperazine and to use when needed 2mg diazapam for which I have had today as I have been feeling more anxious over the last few days and today its all come to a head.

My partner as finished work early 2 years before he is 60, I am 54, we have lots of arguements because he doesnt really understand servere anxiety says if it was him he would no way let it beat him ( like I just let it and like it!!) he has quite a few hobbies tennis,speedway and cycling where as I dont really have any only Tv and reading when I can get into picking up a book, I to get fed up trying to find things to keep me sane but feeling so exhausted like today I havnt really got the energy to do things. I really pushed myself to do a bit of gardening today and was so down and fed up thoughts going round and round my head without even thinking they just appear one after the other. I read if you walk about with your head down you feel glum and depressed and if you walk with your head high and smile you feel better I have been trying this out and it does feel like that.

I have had therapy in the past cbt ,councilling hypnotherapy(which freaked me out because the lady who did it was falling asleep one time when I opened my eyes and she looked like she was drugged up and rambling) never went back!!

I am under the mht and have a mental health social worker who comes every 2 weeks and have been waiting since last sept for therapy for which they have decided CBT which I start on Fri this week. done this before so part of me isnt holding much hope but im going there opened minded,

Can I ask are you going private for your therapy as you seem to have got them through quickly?

Live is a bitch! and some days I cant wait for evening to come maybe because then I dont have to do anything but then on the other hand you cant go out even into the garden so I cant win.

Take care xx