Anxiety is not something you can get rid of forcefully, avoid, control or try to suppress. Trying to do anything about it just keeps all that nervous/negative energy trapped within you. Trying to control it, trying not to feel it, trying to suppress it etc does not have the desired effect. In fact, it has the opposite effect.
To free yourself from anxiety, you have to allow it fully without putting up any form of resistance. How can you be free of this negative energy when you are not prepared to let it go? This is why it hangs around like an unwanted guest. It wants to leave you but you won’t let it.
The path of least resistance is the way to recover. What I mean by this is to allow yourself to fully feel all this energy, don’t avoid places or situations, don’t suppress the thoughts and feelings by drinking too much, frenzied exercising, taking medication (prescribed or otherwise) using any sort of distraction technique (with the intention of or avoiding/suppressing your anxiety) or continually searching the Internet for that elusive instant cure (sorry, it doesn’t exist). All these do is provide temporary relief (all that negative energy remains within), and not permanent relief and peace of mind and body.
In summary, give up trying to do anything in order to make yourself feel different. By not doing anything about anxiety, all that stored up negative energy can be released.
Putting up resistance by constantly battling (with yourself because there is no battle to fight) to rid yourself of anxiety is the main case of suffering and why people get stuck in a cycle. By learning to give up your quest to find instant relief and allowing yourself to feel the way you do (and not trying to fix yourself) will break the cycle.
As I keep saying, anxiety is a paradox. You won’t get better until to stop trying to get better. The “trying” part is the problem here and the reason why doing nothing about anxiety is the key to recovery.
By allowing (same thing as accepting), it gives your tired mind and body the rest it craves and to begin the natural healing process and de-sensitise your nerves. Sensitised nerves are what creates the symptoms of anxiety and usually caused by prolonged stress.
Recovery doesn’t happen overnight as there is likely to be so much anxious and fearful energy to release. In fact, it might feel more intense for a while when you are fully allowing it instead of suppressing or avoiding etc. Over time, I learned that the release of this energy was actually a good thing because it meant my mind and body was finding its own way back to normal default setting. Normal meaning thoughts and feelings no longer being hugely distorted by anxiety and wholly disproportionate to everyday life.
Learning to accept or allow takes time because the automatic human response is to fight/suppress/avoid/control the thoughts and feelings. It requires a modicum of patience and keeping faith in the recovery process and for peace to find you. People often fall back into the trap because results are not instantaneous but recovery from anxiety just doesn’t work like that. Nerves take time to heal, just like a torn muscle or graze.
Anxiety has nothing to do with places or situations such as going to the store, driving etc. If it was, most people would have the same fears which simply isn’t the case. Instead of avoiding, I looked upon it as opportunities to face those fears and release more negative energy so I actively went towards those places and situations instead of hiding or running the other way. The “problem” is not the outside world, it is on the inside and caused by a tired anxious mind that can only think anxious thoughts. There is no reason to avoid these places, situations, thoughts etc. See them as triggers to release negative energy and allow the reaction. Your brain will eventually get the message that there is no threat and tell your fight / flight responses to stand down.
When you are free of this stored up anxious/fear energy, you will only feel anxious or fearful when there is a real threat, triggering a reaction designed to make you run for it, fight it or play dead and keeps you safe. Problems occur when we fight to rid ourselves of the thoughts and feelings which is usually triggered by a prolonged period of worry and stress. This sensitises the nerves, which produces symptoms and when fear of those symptoms is added into the mix, inappropriate levels of anxiety is the result.
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Beevee
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So true. My life had turned upside down, my routine changed anxiety set in and the fact that I pretty much controlled everything and this I couldn't set me over the edge with panic etc. At the time I wasn't thinking clearly and could definitely not accept it. But now totally different story.
was trial and error with meds, now on just prozac and a beta blocker. tons of family and friends support, counseling and pushing myself through every day, it was tough but thank goodness I did.
Beevee, Thank You so very much for your Post. I hope every single word is read and then re-read and fully understood that this is not an overnight cure. Time, patience and acceptance will get you to your final goal, Anxiety Free. Great Advice
Recovery is a learning process. Everyone has it within them to recover so long as they understand what is happening to their minds and body is harmless and temporary and to keep moving forwards with their lives, not letting anxiety dictate their life. The path to recovery is rough at times and not easy to begin with but things do get better the more you get to grips with allowing it all to happen. 👍
Beevee you have such a way with words. Everything you said is what I've done to get where I am today. I have trouble conveying that message to others,. When I do they are discouraged because they want immediate results. I'm so glad you wrote that post. Many will benefit by it. And for those of us who have heard it before, never hurts to hear it one more time.
This is the truth from someone who knows more than anyone: by allowing and not resisting, by accepting and not storing up more fear and then by letting time pass everybody with anxiety disorder can recover without the need for permanent medication.
Thank you for your wise words which are always highly valued, BeeVee.
The way to recovery is not some type of method which will work for some but not others. It relies upon the natural physiological healing process of the human body as described by Dr Claire Weekes in her self help books and countless others who have recovered the same way.
Briefly, anxiety is the result of sensitised nerves which need time to de-sensitise (heal). When fear of the symptoms is added, you keep the nerves in a sensitised state. Accepting is basically stepping out of the way of yourself and not interfering with the healing process by adding more fear.
Early on in my recovery, I really struggled to understand what it meant to accept. Was I doing it right? What if I was doing it wrong? How could I accept something that made me feel so bad. How could I accept those thoughts that grabbed my full attention and filled me with fear. How could I accept the pounding of my heart which felt like it would burst out from my chest at any given moment?
The thoughts bothered me the most. I believed them (big mistake). I mean, they must have been true because of the their sheer physical force, right? I could feel myself reel away in fear when they came and spent ages trying to figure them all out, trying my hardest to accept it all.
The thing is, acceptance is not something you do. It’s more about the attitude you have towards the symptoms when they are in full cry. It’s about genuinely being ok about not feeling ok and not doing or trying to do anything to change the way you are feeling. You can’t change it so don’t bother trying. The thoughts and feelings will be there as long as it takes for your nerves to heal so you may as well learn to live alongside those symptoms and carry on regardless.
It takes time to develop this attitude of not caring so much about the way you feel. It involves gaoning a good understanding of anxiety and knowing that, although scary, the symptoms do no harm and a completely natural reaction under the circumstances. Losing your fear / respect of the symptoms is a major step in recovery which is made easier if you understand what is happening to your mind and body and why, whilst in the grip of anxiety. Knowledge takes away the fear of the unknown and fear is the root cause of all anxiety related disorders. Over time, your focus will turn to other things and your grip on anxiety will loosen. It is you that is holding onto anxiety and not anxiety that is holding on to you. You loosen your grip by allowing all the symptoms to do their worst, shrugging your shoulders ( oh well, it’s only excessive adrenalin coursing through my body) and carrying on living your life as if you didn’t have anxiety.
Yes/no...I understand what your saying you have to let your nerves do what their going to do until their done. Me trying to force it to stop, is aggravating the nerves to keep the anxeity to continue, Right?
You said it can't do any harm? My doctor disagrees, that it can reek havoc with my diabetes n heart That's why I look for a way to get back control because I'm afraid that I could have a heart attack or stroke? I'm 63
My body goes into I feel like survival mode to protect Me? I feel like I'm drowning? So what do you think? Thank you for taking the time to write.
Hello PJRR, I just want to add to Beeve's insightful advice. First of all, the book he recommended is a must to read. and it's true, there's no magic cure because the reason for anxiety is our distorted thoughts. We think it, therefore we fear something will happen. I understand your concern with your health, but you have a condition that can be treated. Cholesterol can be healed with healthy eating, exercise, etc. Diabetes cannot be cured but can be managed. If there's something that is making you sick, is your own thoughts. I also recommend the book Feeling Good by Dr. David Burns. You can find that peaceful place in your mind, just be patient and make the decision to change your life for the better starting NOW! Take care.
Beevee, great post and clear articulation of the paradox of anxiety and the power of acceptance - good for you.
The solution is astoundingly simple but our mind and body have been conditioned to make us believe otherwise and treat it as life or death. The change for me started when I realized my anxious thoughts were lies and committed to not listening or believing them no matter how scary they were.
Thank you for this insight. I am seeing a really wonderful therapist and though the actual therapy has been great, she suggests an SSRI like Zoloft at almost every visit, yet I am still being resistant of a daily medication because I want to be able to get to the root of why I feel this way and cure it for good. I do take 0.5mg of Xanax as needed when things get really bad though. I'm going to read your post a few times and let your ideas sink in and hopefully put them into practice. I'm desperate. This anxiety is controlling and ruining my life.
If you are struggling to find the root cause then I wouldn’t waste time and energy trying to find it. If anything, it is likely to be a major stress point in your life or a series of stressors. I do know that anxiety is very good at latching /manufacturing on to any thought that may carry an ounce of truth in it and turn it into a heavy lead weight that you carry around until you decide to let go. If I was to label my disorder, it would have been general anxiety specialising in relationship anxiety😂. It started off as health anxiety, got bored of that and then moved on to another topic. I felt very anxious all day with a myriad of thoughts coming uninvited. They all hurt but the ones that caused the most emotional turmoil were the ones that resonated with me. The natural reaction is to challenge the thought because it feels real when in reality, it is just a figment of an overly active anxious mind. Energy being released. Fighting with those thoughts is the reason why people go round in circles and feeding the anxiety in the process. Letting go of the thoughts and feelings starves anxiety. I spent ages questioning thoughts until I learned not to react to them and they all disappeared.
Continually searching for the reason(s) why you think and feel the way you do also feeds anxiety as you are not accepting or allowing yourself to feel it. I still can’t honestly pinpoint what caused me to become overly anxious. Whatever it was, I couldn’t change it. I could only influence what lay in front of me and how I viewed things. To recover, the only thing I changed was my attitude towards the anxiety symptoms. I stopped fighting, suppressing, avoiding etc and started accepting/allowing. It took time to develop that new attitude / viewpoint but it can be done by anyone, once they understand what makes anxiety tick and why they get all those scary thoughts and feelings. Knowledge is key to recovery.
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