Social anxiety ?

[rosierose_]

Hey there, I am new here

I am a student, and I’m currently in an anxious phase and really under pressure because of my studies. I feel sooo bad because whenever I try to talk to people or speak in public, my mind goes blank and I feel really embarrassed and awkward. It is a real problem since it affects my studies (can’t speak in class/in front of teachers). The thing is that I don’t feel interesting or smart enough to be there, and seeing everyone being comfortable with people/studies makes me feel even worse. I can’t even communicate my feelings/talk about my problems with my friends. Anyone has any tips ??

[AutumnAurora]

Hi Rose,

First and foremost take a deep-breathe. And know YESSSS!! that your are Smart Enough !! to do whatever you put your mind too. Your not the first to have issues speaking in public.. I use to take a speech class. Whereas, I had to record myself giving speeches and uploading when I was done to my professor. Let’s just say I did a little editing before submission of my assignments.

I eventually got a lot better and actually enjoyed the class . I finished the class with an “A”.

The thing I’m getting at , is no one’s perfect no matter how easy they make it appear. So give yourself a break stop being so hard on yourself. Know your important and just have fun with it and enjoy the Journey..

And as for making friends, just be you. Find a common interest. Hi you made a friend in me already..

I hope this Helps.. 😘 You got this!!

[rosierose_ in reply to AutumnAurora]

Hi Autumn Aurora !!

Thank you SO MUCH for your reply. I think I just care way too much about what people might think of me, and it’s so tiring to overthink. When I meet new people (or even with my old friends), I try to analyze everything from their facial expressions to imagining their thoughts, and it’s really draining (this is why I avoid social interactions lol)

And also for studies, I feel really horrible but I don’t think I can change anything, it’s way to hard for me (I have literally no self confidence and people don’t hesitate to walk all over you to be top of the class)

Thank you again for your reply, I hope you are doing well :)))

[Darryl Partner]

total empathy. How old are you?

[rosierose_ in reply to Darryl]

I’m 18 :))

[Itzallgood1]

I do the same thing as you. I always read body language or facial expressions from others. Whether it be friends, coworkers or new people. I wish I could just blend right in with everyone.

AutumnAurora has a good idea there. Maybe would work for you? Worth a try. Crazy thing, I was told when I was younger was to imagine everyone else was in their underwear. 😂

[rosierose_ in reply to Itzallgood1]

I wish I could talk easily with anyone and feel comfortable to speak in public. Since you do the same thing as me, you know how it feels to over analyze everything 🥲

I was told the same but it doesn’t seem to work with me 😂 my mind goes completely blank due to stress maybe, but i’ll try to work on this. Thanks for replying!

[Itzallgood1 in reply to rosierose_]

Hope it works. Sometimes I can converse but the conversation ends quickly because im not sure what to say. Then it gets awkwardly quiet.😂

[racer21]

Anxious and racing thoughts are pervasive for us. I'm scared a lot, when having to talk to people I don’t know. Before any interaction, I constantly think of possible ways the interaction will go, making myself more nervous and scared.

What I've found helps me is if I have time I talk to myself in the mirror. As silly as it sounds it eases the anxiety a bit. But, long-term? My recommendation is to see if your university offers therapy. Or, see your PCM for a referral to a licensed therapist or counselor. Anxiety is difficult to treat with only self-therapy.

Someone suggested a public speaking group, I agree. Use meetup.com or whatever local app you have that offers opportunities to join groups. Exposure therapy helps for a lot of people. Education, find books on anxiety as well.

Also, I refommend Youtube videos or audios/music on motivation and confidence builders. If you can build mental resiliency and confidence, that may help alleviate a lot of the anxiety.

[rosierose_ in reply to racer21]

Thanks for replying !!

I’ve tried some techniques to help me when I have to talk to people, but the thing that discouraged me a bit is the fact that some close friends and even teachers call me «awkward » as a joke but I guess they don’t really know what I’m going through. This makes me feel uncomfortable because I feel like everyone thinks the same. As a consequence, I try to « change » how I speak and act but it doesn’t look like me (if that makes sense) so things get even more awkward. If I try to act confident for example, it gets weird because you can actually see that I’m not 😅 But thank you for the advices you gave me, I’ll do some researches !!

[Hidden]

let me start by saying, I think it’s totally normal to be nervous to talk in front of the whole class! And you ARE smart! Everyone has something they are good at and everyone is smart in their owns ways.

I’m right with you about analyzing peoples expressions and everything but I think the first step is to just accept yourself! I think it’s ok if you’re a little shy or even akward. If someone makes fun of it or makes you feel weird about it, it’s their problem, not yours.

Believe it or not, a lot of people are shy and are scared but they are jsut better at hiding it I think it’s great if you just maybe admit to the person you’re talking to thay you’re not the most social person. If that person is nice enough, they will understand

Try to be positive and focus on the positive good things about yourself! Keep telling yourself that you are smart, capable, funny, etc. If you believe it, others will start to see it

good luck to you!