Hi I’m new here. I’m julie and I’m 54. I’ve suffered with anxiety before but it’s now getting more out of control. About a month ago my son had to go for blood tests he’s 31 the bloods came back showing mild or borderline enzymes with his liver. Since I found that out for the last to weeks I’ve googled everything also joined the liver forum on here I’ve not ate and not slept hardly. The people on the liver forum some were nice others horrible calling me a air head and telling me to jog on. Anyway my son had to do more blood tests and know the doctors surgery have txt saying please make a routine appointment with the doctor to discuss your liver results. And so the googling starts again and I’m convinced he has liver disease because obviously the bloods are not right or the doctor wouldn’t want to discuss anything. I’m so so scared. Xx
Scared: Hi I’m new here. I’m julie and I’m... - Anxiety Support
Scared
Welcome to the group. I'm sorry you had such a difficult time in a group that should have been a bit more supportive. Some people don't understand anxiety and where our mind can take us.
My therapist always tells me to focus on " what I know now" You know there is an issue and you know there is a consult coming. That's what you know. We all know googling can make things worse but it's hard to stay away from it.
As a mother I can understand your anxiety level. We worry about our babies forever.
Try and focus on what you know. I know it's easier said than done. It took me awhile to grasp the concept but it does work for me now.
Keep us posted and keep writing your thoughts. We all understand
🐬
Thankyou for you kind message. I will try but the thoughts going through my head are freaking me out. I just can’t take it xx
I am so sorry Julie. I have OCD, Ruminating Thoughts and Scrupulosity. I am 45 and have been taking meds for over 13 years with 3 years of working with an OCD Specialist.
My family went through a very traumatic experience this year and it was very difficult but we made it through better, closer, and stronger. I have been lowering my doses meds over that past few year and due to the trauma I began forgetting to take my meds and just finally thought I would just stop.
I am out 3 weeks from that decision and realizing I made a mistake. I am in a constant state of terror with very few moments of peace. I recognize TODAY all this thinking and dread is an over active Amygdala. However I cannot just flip a switch to make it stop. Plus it is extremely difficult to find support, empathy, and understanding.
I started taking the meds again. Walking, a few toe touches, and lots of Journaling and even sitting in 4 inches of cold water in the bathtub.
Journaling is a great way to take control of those thoughts. I used to write them down. Many of the thoughts were so repetitive it helped give me insight into deeper issues. Reaching out here is super powerful to reassure you that you are not alone and your feelings and concerns are completely valid. Also your brain is not always your friend and learning to catch it and redirect it to other life giving activities is powerful.
Hi and Thankyou for your message. I’m so sorry you have been through so much. I’m n oh t coping at all right now and really don’t know what worse I can actually do.
Do you have anyone that is empathic with how you are feeling right now and understanding?
I have been learning I have not been a person that has been very kind to myself. Self care feels selfish. I always put others needs before my own. In the past when I hit these lowest lows. I constantly reminded myself of a Bible Verse. “Be still and Know I am The Lord” and I would follow that Up with “God’s Strength and Glory is shown through our weakness.” I am not here to push spiritually on you but a hope that being weak and frail is just part of being human and we shouldn’t be ashamed. To be more transparent my 13 your just finished his last rounds Chemo. I grateful the cancer he had was treatable and the tumors have gone away. That road really sucked. We all had to be strong for him through more than most 13 year olds experience and his journey is over with yet. I focus on all the goodness we learnt and had in that season. In fact stupid me though I managed my OCD so well I didn’t need my meds. Ooof, boy was I wrong.
Hello 
I am so sorry your anxiety is out of control I know the feeling only to well and also I know about going on Dr Google
I have suffered with anxiety as far back as I can remember and I advise everyone to stay of Dr Google as it is our own worst enemy always spits out the worse scenario but what we forget it does not have all our own personal facts and only our Doctors can give a true diagnosis but there we go me included looking on it and as I say 3 clicks and that is it everything is all over
I need to stay of it as I have had health issues and now some more and I am making myself ill now and I hope you will find the strength to stay of it to
As soon as you find yourself about to put something in say NO or someone told me about a five minute rule if that is impossible to say no which is allow yourself 5 minutes only per day to look on Google and no more and to be honest 5 minutes is not long so you do not get to look up much
I am waiting for tests and I am petrified and I know this is your Son and you are going to feel afraid and most of the time nothing is as bad as it seems
I know the Doctor has asked to see him but try and take a day at a time knowing that whatever this could or maybe could not be they will have treatments if needed no matter what Google says
As for Communities with people been abusive that is something else that I would keep away from or report
Healthunlocked Communities are suppose to be somewhere we come and support each other not abuse people that is unacceptable
I hope you find more support posting here but know how you feel with your anxiety you are not alone and things will be ok even though your anxiety is going wild at the moment as it has found something to grab hold of and take control
Let us know how your Son gets on and how you are getting on to x
Thankyou for such a lovely message I’m sorry you suffer from anxiety to it just grips hold of you doesn’t it. I hope all your tests are ok and I will really try to stay away from dr Google. I will keep in touch and let you know. Have a lovely weekend x
Hello
Yes it certainly gets a grip on you and once it has it is hard to shake it back of but you can
Thank you for wishing me well with my tests and you will deal with this even though you may not feel like it at the moment
Try the 5 minute rule but most important know you are not alone x
Thankyou xx
x
The strange thing is if it is bad news you will cope. I find my anxiety is always worse before or after an event. While you are dealing with it somehow your mind gets you through . I have had to deal with my grandson having leukaemia and a bone marrow transplant and at Xmas his father ( my son ) nearly died from COVID. Now everyone seems ok my anxiety is through the roof! If only there was an answer. You are strong even if you don’t think you are. It will be better xxx
Hi Thankyou for your reply. I hoping that because the doctor doesn’t want to see him and it was at txt to him saying please book a telephone appointment in the next 1-2 weeks that it can’t be that bad because surely if it was serious they would of seen him ASAP wouldn’t they and surely not give bad news over a phone. Sending best wishes to your son and grandson xxx
Hi Julie, sorry to hear about your sons recent difficulties, and by the sounds of things you suffer with anxiety yourself, now the easiest thing for us all to say is not to worry, but its in our nature, however stay away from ' Dr ' Google, it will drive you round the bend!
You will be thinking your son has possibly every condition mentioned under the sun, I know how difficult waiting for the next set of blood tests can be, but these are the ones that will give you a better idea of what is actually going on with him, you need to think about your own health here as well, I'm glad you've joined the liver forum, and I'm sorry some folk have given you a tough time and perhaps not taken things seriously, I'm a member myself and have just celebrated 10 years of being sober, so , look after yourself, and I hope your sons blood tests show a more positive outcome in the coming days, best of luck 😇
Thankyou so much for your message it means a lot. I’m so full of anxiety about my sins results my head keeps saying well doctor doesn’t want to see him only wants a routine telephone appointment with him in 2 weeks and another part of me thinks doctor would give bad news over the fone and must be something wrong for her to want to discuss it. What amazing news on your 10th year sober. Absolutely fantastic achievement I really wish you all the best. Did you manage to turn this around before chirhoss hope you don’t mind me asking x
Well, by the sounds of things, the bloods tests aren't desperately above any high levels, otherwise he'd of been called back instantly, this should reassure you, and maybe they might just do another set of bloods later on ,I don't know if your son had been drinking prior to his blood work being done, so this could have raised certain levels perhaps, and unfortunately I'm not that savvy in medical matters. My drinking was caused through a couple of traumatic events, and ended up as a alcoholic, I had PTSD,and as for chirosis
I couldn't actually tell you, I never even bothered with anything, I had many trips in hospital, ulcers, generally unwell, I didn't have anyone in my life at that time, and I really didn't care about much, let alone what doctors or specialists were saying to me , and I never really paid attention to what was happening to me, it was a massive blur, and I feel I'm extremely lucky to be alive!
So, when people ask me about figures or certain test results there are people who have better knowledge than me on the liver forum, and because my head was else over years ago I might not have all the answers, I try my best in being honest, and because I had a hectic alcoholic lifestyle, it really was a chaotic period, and I try my best to give out what little information I hold, and can remember, I've ended with neuropathy, all caused from long term drinking, so, its difficult trying to explain everything, and of course I try to pick my words carefully without upsetting anyone, boy, isn't life difficult eh, I'm sorry its not all the answers you are possibly looking for, but rest assured I hope things go better in the coming days, kind regards Chris 😇
Hi Chris and Thankyou for the message and your honesty. My son only really drinks at celebrations Xmas and such like and in hi 20s as lads do. I’m not putting anyone down by the way. Well done you on your journey. My anxiety is not going to go obviously but you have helped just by messaging. I see my post as been turned off in the forum oh well. Have a nice weekend and chat soon x
Ah right, obviously i didn't see that post, and I don't like getting into those sort of tit for tat comments, and of course they can ' snowball' sometimes, I only try to help people, and obviously my caring side comes out towards people from all walks of society, I've hit rock bottom in life, so, its not just trying to understand how people feel physically, but mentally as well, even if it's for another member of the family in the message, well you take care, hope you have a good weekend 🙂
My friend had liver disease and went to Vanderbilt in Tennessee. She's had 3 operations. And other things done. 15 years now she is fine. When you can find the right doctors they will give you peace of mind. I will be praying for you and your son.❤
I suffer from Health Anxiety where I look up a lot of sickness and when I have certain pains I think I have certain stuff and Dr Google does not help. I had health procedures done the pass 5 years ago so that's why I still suffer with Health Anxiety will be Praying for your Son Julie God willing everything will be ok.
Julie, try not to worry. Worry never helped anyone. My biggest effort is on that, in order to kick anxiety away and I'm much better now. Things will get bad sooner or later, and you just deal with it with a calm head. Life changes and all you can do is deal with it, do what you must. I'm sure your son is not in any serious danger. But should keep seeing his doctors and ask questions. I have never met a doctor who said everything I needed to know until I asked detailed questions. That can only happen when you have some medical knowledge. So learn that much from internet but never try to diagnose or take symptom matches seriously. It used to freak me out. Even now the problems I have I'm sure if I looked, I would have a lot of them match with even cancer symptoms. Medical websites somehow write things in a way that is designed to freak you out.
All you can do is stay on top of the problem, treat it in time and carefully. But don't forget to smile and laugh and do normal things. Worrying doesn't solve anything but makes everything much worse. Easier said than done. So you have to try hard, always consciously make sure you're not obsessively worried.
Potentials unlimited online get a download,,
Hi Julie, It's nice that you joined the group. I think you will find that people who suffer with anxiety on a daily basis will be more kind to you. We have some idea of what you are going through. I too was rather paranoid when it came to my health after I got sick but I was put on some new medications and they have calmed me down for the time being. I realized that a lot of it was needless worry.I don't know if you are taking anything to help you with the ongoing stress with your son's health condition but there are medications that can help you even if only temporary. I hope you and your son have excellent news. Take care
I am an engineer, its in my blood you could say and in some ways it has saved me. I lost my parents within 4 months of each other, went through a nasty divorce and had to sell my house and business all within what seemed like months though it was a little longer. There was nothing I could do about any of it so it became a challenge. To do what they said couldn't be done and get through the 3 most stressful things in life, notwithstanding the obvious...poor health.
I got through it and my parents death aside (I still miss them) it turned out to be easier than I thought and I came out the other side stronger and determined to find a new, better wife which I surely have.
Just about everything I have worried about, but done, has worked our easier than I thought, you put a plan into action and see it through, to show to yourself and otheres you can do this. "What one man can do another man can do". You have to be strong for your son if you want to help him, which I am sure you do.
So go and buy and exercise book and start making notes, so when doctors talk to you, you understand what they are saying. The liver is the organ of the body that can most easity be reaired and recover and you descibe youself as a "bookworm" (1968, thats young), so put down the novels and get researching.
Bonne Chance
Julie,This does not mean he has liver disease. Please don't use Dr. Google it's our worst enemy. Your scared. I get it. Fear of the unknown is real. It may be that he has a fatty liver. Is he over weight. Dors he drink a lot of alcohol, is there a family history of liver disease, had he had prior problems? His ALT AND AST can be elevated for a ton of reasons and not necessarily liver disease. It is very normal for you to be worried and have anxiety. But the key words in your post are Mild or borderline. As mothers we fear the worst. Like a mother cub protecting her babies no matter how old they are. We lost our 6 year old to cancer, (brain tumor) it was the worst time in my life. He was our first born. He was happy and healthy one day and the next 11 months changed our lives forever. I suffer from anxiety as well. I have 3 daughters that I worry about constantly. They are all adults but it don't matter, any little thing and I worry for fear of loosing another child. I found the worst thing I can do is get on the computer and look things up. The only place I look things up now is the Mayo clinic or WebMd. Please be good to yourself. It will be ok. Further testing is just to rule out other things like hepatitis etc. Hang in there, remember to do deep breathing exercises. It is a known fact that only 5% of we worry about is worthy of worrying, the other 95% is nothing to worry about. You got this, dont let the anxiety creep in and ruin your day.
((((hugs))))
Thankyou so much for such a heartfelt message. I’m truly sorry for your loss I cannot even begin to imagine what that is like. I know you are right about the liver elevations and I really do try to put it into perspective. I guess he is overweight but not in a flabby way (sorry if that sounds rude) He’s very muscular but weighs 14 and stone and his 5ft 9 but to look at him you wouldn’t know that. With regards to drinking in his 20s out with mates like lads do but not every weekend even then. Now it’s just for celebrations Xmas birthdays that type of thing. He’s never done drugs or anything like that. Thankyou so much again for you kind message xx
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