Can’t sleep because things are unresolved

[RenYellow]

Does anyone else need to have things resolved right away? Like if a situation happens during the day, and i am unable to solve it until the next day, i freak out. That whole night i’ll be thinking about it because its not resolved. Even though i know rationally theres no way certain situations can be fixed immediately, that feeling of anxiety will follow me all day until its fixed. I’m not sure if its a ‘not being in control’ thing, or just wanting to go to sleep without any loose ends.

It even extends to relationship issues as well. If theres something bothering me or i’m upset, i immediately bring it up to my partner and resolve it.

Does anyone have any tricks on quelling anxieties when you’re trying to go to sleep?

[b1b1b1]

Yes, I am exactly the same. If something is not resolved I become anxious and upset and hyper about anything I can do to get it resolved. In my case I know what caused this. My mother's discipline method was to tell me that she didn't know if she loved me any more, and would have to think about it and would let me know in four or five hours. The waiting and tension was unbearable. This began when I was about 6 and continued until I was about 13.

[hypercat54 in reply to b1b1b1]

Oh that's awful b1 and I don't know how a parent could do this to a child. I am so sorry.

[Gretat]

That is classic obsessive thinking. A fairly common personality trait that can be associated with perfectionism and or similar traits.The good news is that you are aware of it and willing to take action. I recommend u do a web search on "how to control obsessive thinking". There is so much self help on the subject and i know there will be examples and techniques for your exact thinking. The bad news is that it takes time to reprogram your mind but with practice it can be effectively managed. If it is causing significant problems than a therapist may be more helpfull in identifying the cause and Since you're aware and willing, the free on-line self help is a big step in the right direction.

The best to u.

[hypercat54]

Yes what I do is make a plan. If for example someone has upset me I mull it over and decide my options, I will decide it was just one of those things, I was at fault and need to apologise, they were at fault and I decide I need to have a word with them, or does it matter enough and maybe avoid that person in the future.

Once I had made my plan I can put it to bed and more or less out of my mind. It's much harder if it's an on going situation and there is little I can do but worry. I still make a little plan though of anything I can do to make it more bearable. Then I decide it's taken up enough of my thoughts and distract myself by doing something like watching telly, reading, chatting to a friend etc. Every time my thoughts go back to it I turn it resolutely away.