GRIEF

[penguins123]

I am still grieving from the loss of my adult son. It continues to be very hard even though he died in 2007. I wonder if anyone else has experienced the loss of a loved one and is still having a hard time? I am new to this site and go by the name: penguin123. I take mirtazapine every night: 30 mg. and it seems to help me sleep. I haven't had the weight gain because I am very careful about what I eat.

[penguins123]

Thank you Wounded_Soldier. I will try and remember that spiritually my son is still with me. I feel your compassion and that helps me deal with my grief. I miss him so much. I try and exercise and use distraction to quell my thoughts so I haven't fully dealt with the pain.

[kenster1]

hi we have a forum here called bereavement care and share it might be off added support to you.sorry for your loss my son was only 6 when he died in 2000 and I still grieve not in the same way though as the first few years but doubt we ever stop because we will always remember them.

[penguins123 in reply to kenster1]

Sorry to hear about the death of your little boy. My heart is with you and hope that you are able to live your current life with purpose and some joy. It is very, very hard.

[TJT188]

I’m very sorry for your loss. I pray that your troubles will cease. I just lost my mother to dementia and Alzheimer’s a couple weeks ago, and I have not been the same sense. I’ve always struggled with anxiety and panic attacks my entire life, but now, it’s like they are on steroids and 100 times worse. I get to where I can’t catch my breath and I start feeling like I’m having a heart attack. I start feeling a very intense feeling of impending doom and start having chest pain’s. It’s been like this ever since I lost her and I feel like I’ll never be the same person again. Every day I’m starting to feel like this. Do you have the same issues with your grief? One of the worst feelings in the world is a son losing his mother, and a mother having to endure the loss of her child. I’m very sorry for your loss. My God bring you peace and serenity.

[penguins123 in reply to TJT188]

Thank you for your honest and hear-rending reply. My grief was more pronounced the first few years and I used excessive exercise to cope. Have you tried volunteering somewhere to give yourself a sense of purpose and turn your grief into compassion for others? That helped me initially. Also, I got a companion dog and I'm still loving being a pet owner. It's amazing how they can sense when you need comforting.

[AnxM]

I am so sorry for your great loss. I have not lost a child, but other loved ones. There is a video on Youtube, a Tedtalk by psychologist Lucy Hone, where she shares how she copes with the sudden loss of her young daughter. It's a struggle, but there is a way forward.

Please join the bereavement support group, and I also hope that you have a good therapist to talk to.

[penguins123 in reply to AnxM]

Thank you AnxM. I will look into the video of Lucy Hone dealing with the loss of her young daughter. I joined a bereavement support group when the death first occurred...it was helpful. I also engaged in therapy. I am currently looking into trying a new hobby which will engage my total attention.

[AnxM in reply to penguins123]

Stay strong and take good care.

You are not alone.

[penguins123 in reply to AnxM]

Thank you for your compassionate reply. You take care also and stay free from Covid.

[RoseyViolet]

Penguins123, so sorry to hear of the loss of your son. That's a tough one, no matter how many years pass by. Grief is different for everyone, but some things remain the same. How long you grieve as well as how intensely you grieve is unique to your own journey.

I try really hard to take my cues and guide from the Bible on how to cope. I look to the Word of God for comfort on days I am feeling especially down and mourning the loss of loved ones, but also know that it says there is a time and a season for mourning. Meaning, there's a time for it but there's also a healthy time to begin to put one foot in front of the other and try to move forward for our own health and wellbeing.

It's healthy to grieve, but it's also healthy to begin to move forward. It doesn't mean we belittle the relationship or our loss, but simply that we remember them and use their love as strength to keep moving forward to live life honoring our loved one.

I hope you can find comfort in knowing that you had the privilege of being his mom for however long you had and in knowing that you still live life to be good to yourself and focus on your own health. That's loving on you! Praying for you Penguins!

[penguins123 in reply to RoseyViolet]

Thank you so much! My therapist also told me to honor his memory by living like he would want me to live. I try to be a good, kind person, take care of myself and my pets. Some days, like anniversaries and birthdays, are harder than other, but I'm trying. I appreciate your kind and wise words.

[sunandbutterfly]

So sorry to hear of the loss that you have experienced. No parent should have to bury a child. In 2017, my brother (in law) was killed in a tragic accident. It can still bring me to tears at times in a way that no other loss that I have experienced can. Are you familiar with complicated grief? My sister suffers from this. She has not been able to do much since the accident happened.

It really helps me to have the hope of seeing him in heaven some day.

I know that it also helped me to get counseling as well. I am so glad that you are seeking the help of a counselor and trying to live well in your son's memory. Hugs and prayers for you.

[penguins123 in reply to sunandbutterfly]

Thank you sunandbutterfly for your thoughtful and heartfelt comments. I really appreciate the feedback I'm receiving on this site.