Life is cruel

[Kaaayla]

How can I stop worrying my brain is on constant! Just can’t stop worrying about my mum Feel so sad about life this is the worst chapter of my life ever! Iv tried to get help McMillan even tried to refer me to psychologist but due to covid they said it’s hard, I tried my doctor but been waiting months and still haven’t heard anything .. I give up with life really do, I’m so scared everyday to loose my mum each day I keep seeing her getting weaker n weaker .. my dad died of cancer feel like that still ain’t real now it’s my mum once she goes what am I going to do?? Who will I have?? I feel like I’m grieving already n she’s still alive. I’m so heartbroken never felt pain like this. Feel like Iv got no one to speak 2. I’m so sad , I’m getting bad chest pains racing heart and so much more. Pls someone help me.

[Agora1]

Dearest Kaaayla, Is there anyway you can talk with a psychologist or social worker over

the internet or even phone? You need help now. You need to prepare yourself mentally

for the inevitable whether it be today, tomorrow or months from now. Losing a parent,

as you know hurts more than we can imagine. I remember when my parents died, it's a loss

like none other. I know you are already grieving because of your dad's passing as well as it being a a grieving process seeing your mom so sick. You mustn't give up on life though. As scared and as hurt as you are right now.

You understand that the physical symptoms you are going through right now are because

of the immense stress you dealt with first your dad and now your mom. You have us to speak with Kaaayla. You can't bottle this up. You need to have an outlet. I worry about

you each and every day. Talk to us as often as you need to. We are here for you xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Love this

[Starrlight]

❤️ I’m so sorry you are going through so much. I’m listening and I am glad you are writing. I believe you will get through the pain.

[Hidden]

It's probably not the same with talking on here with others compared to having somebody to give you a hug or be there to talk to you. There are people who will talk to you on here. Sorry to hear about mum and she is your whole world. I agree you need to see someone medically who can help you. I for one would love to help you if I lived by you. I've always wanted to be able to care for someone who needs it. I sincerely hope you find somebody to be by your side to be there for you.❤

[Hidden]

Hello

Life can be so cruel

I know how your anxiety will be on full volume screaming at you , mine is to but someone said yesterday to me and it made sense they won't be able to wave a magic wand and take the anxiety away but what I could try doing and I am is turning the volume down on it ?

This made sense to me , not easy but everytime I hear it screaming in my ear I am trying to turn it down , not sure if trying this will help a little for you but maybe give it a go and see

Whatever happens take each day at a time , try not to think to far ahead , you have today stay in it and when we need to deal with tomorrow we will look at it then

You are strong and your Mum will be so very proud of you and the one gift you can give her is to carry on with your life with all the things she has taught you and the love she has given you , that will be what she wants the very most and when you need those things because she has already given them you , then you will find them and use them but for now make every day count

Take Care x

[kvolm2016]

Hey Kaaayla, I'm so sorry that you are in such a low place right now. I definitely understand what you are experiencing and it make complete sense why you are having the physical reactions as well as the intense worry. I know the crisis hotline for my medical provider is overwhelmed with calls too so you are not the only one dealing with the delays.

Grieving your dad's death and now having to watch your mom in a situation of declining health is so hard. Even talking with a grief counselor might be helpful right now. Here is a resource that you might try to contact for this: griefshare.org/

Hope this helps!

[lynstone60]

Hi sweet. I have just read your post and really feel for you .I know this is hard for you but I agree with everyone here you really need to talk to someone even if it is just over the phone .you sound young ? How old are you ? I ask because their is a special link I will try and find just for young adults .I really hope you find some peice in your mind .have you tried any medication as yet ? I know that meds are not really the answer but you sound to me like your mind needs to shut off for a while ...I wish you all the very best and I'm so sorry for your mum and dad .❤️xxx

[GJRWS]

I don't know what i can say.

I have been there and felt all you are feeling and experienced all the physical symptoms you are feeling at the time. and to some extent still am and do.

I do feel my Christian faith helped me through. I prayed fervently for healing for my daughters and husbands cancers when they were ill at the same time.

My daughter is now 5 years clear , although has lasting effects.....but my husband died in awful circumstances, I even screamed "eloi eloi lama sabathani " loudly in the hospital chapel.

But looking back we all ( including him) found the strength and courage to support him through it and I am convinced that is through the power of prayer, (and a shaking of adrenaline probably) although I know others will not agree and will think i am delusional!!!

Prayer is the first call I make, knowing it will not give me what I want but will help me through. So I hope you wouldn't mind if I included you in my prayers..let me know if not.