Social anxiety

[Starrlight]

Any tips on how to beat feeling self conscious around people? I have a friend who I barely ever see coming over soon and I tend to feel all awkward. Agh Thank you!

[peaceandfaith]

Cbd oil or drinking chamomile tea

[Starrlight in reply to peaceandfaith]

Cbd oil does me wrong but yeah calming tea works, thanks, peaceandfaith!

[designguy]

Hello Starrlight, I was able to recover from social anxiety disorder and for me what started to make it happen was when I learned that social anxiety is different than general anxiety and therefor requires specific treatment. Social anxiety is learned maladaptive thinking and behavior and you need to learn why and how you developed it and new skills and understanding on how to recover from it. In my case my social anxiety developed from being bullied as a kid and over time, turned into complex ptsd.

I recommend finding a therapist who specifically treats social anxiety disorder and work with them, there are also online programs available. Also, you might consider medication as part of your recovery if you aren't already doing so.

[Starrlight in reply to designguy]

I am on Paxil which can help the social anxiety I think. I will talk to my therapist about it... and also will be contemplating why it’s here with me... thanks Designguy

[Ragdoll15 in reply to Starrlight]

Do you find Paxil helpful? I am thinking about starting this but am a bit apprehensive about side effects as I am very sensitive to med Thanks

[Starrlight in reply to designguy]

Now that I think about it I’m constantly picking at myself so I feel bad and then on top of it I think others are thinking similar mean things. I’m trying to reverse the training my brain to be self critical. It’s very very difficult for me so far but I’ll keep at it.

[designguy in reply to Starrlight]

I understand, my self talk use to be so self-critical, especially after interacting with other people. What I learned was it was all a lie I was telling myself but it had become automatic and a habit. I also had very poor self-esteem which it is part of.

I also went through a number of different therapists and treatment types before figuring out I actually had social anxiety disorder and finding the right therapist. I found general therapists claimed to know about social anxiety but didn't really and didn't know how to specifically treat it.

Learning mindfulness and being able to let go of the negative thoughts and not believe or pay attention to them made a big difference.

[Starrlight in reply to designguy]

I love practicing mindfulness. I try to meditate too but it’s been a struggle just being when thoughts try taking over.

[designguy in reply to Starrlight]

It takes practice and time. What has helped me is the whole idea of just surrendering mentally and physically and just sitting and being. Realizing and accepting that the only real control we have over anything is just our next breath and we really can't even control that. I also mentally picture my mind and thoughts as a big screen tv with the sound off and the images (thoughts) just taking place going in and out of the picture. It wasn't easy at first but gets easier over time.

I was on a number of different meds over time and what helped me was getting one of the genetic psychopharmacological tests done. Mine was by Genesight but there are others. It helped narrow down which drugs were best for me, I tried one and it really helped. I still had some anxiety but it helped decrease it and even things out. For me personally, it was the combination of the right therapy and meds that made a difference.

[Starrlight in reply to designguy]

Wow thanks for the insight. I meditated with a friend today. It was amazing. I want to keep going with that each day at least once or twice.

I know what you mean by getting the right therapist and med combo. I recently went from wanting to die to feeling pretty good.

I’m sitting by a fire right now at night and it is peaceful. 🔥

[designguy in reply to Starrlight]

Good for you, glad you are doing better and able to enjoy the moment.

Know that our natural innate state of being as humans is that calm, centeredness when we are just being mindful and present. Once we experience it we can always return to it and the more we do it the easier it becomes. Everything else in life, including anxiety, is just a temporary distraction from it.

[Starrlight in reply to designguy]

Just a temporary distraction from the peace- this is great I will remember this.

[Sabio77]

Hi starlight, it is good that you recognize this emotion. what is important is, that you find out why or where it began. It is called finding the trigger or cause of this learned emotion. Try tracing it back to your childhood. Ask yourself these helpful questions, "Was I socially interactive as a child?" or "How did I interact with the kids in school and authoritative positioned people when I was younger?" As you ask yourself these questions, be open minded and patient, give yourself mercy, grace and self-love. Once you do find out, that is a huge accomplishment of understanding yourself in this area. Next, its best to find a therapist to assist you in your journey of recovery. Keep in mind, that you were born with a purpose, you are valuable and that you can recover from this. This is only temporary. Hugs of encouragement.

[Starrlight]

Hugs backatchya my friend!