I wish that I wouldn't overthink everything.

[DemureRose]

So I'm a senior in high school and because of this whole COVID-19 situation, my senior trip has been hijacked. I had pretty much just accepted that I wouldn't get a senior trip and then be done with it, but the other day, my friends brought up the idea of going to a cabin in the mountains and all of us hanging out together. My immediate thought? A mixture of "Heck no!" and "Hmm...that does sound fun."

I tend to have this grand ideas of hanging out with friends but come the day of, I am a ball of anxiety. And this would be an overnight thing, with me and my friends ALL ALONE. All but one of us have never been on overnight trips without any sort of responsible adult. We're all 18+ but it is still a lot of responsibility. And what happened is I brought it up to my mom, who seemed more excited about it than me even though she knows she wouldn't be coming, and she found a bunch of cabins for rent and sent them to me. But the problem is, if I bring up the cabin idea again, I will be the one planning it and I both love and hate that idea. I love it because that means that I can arrange for things that I know I would want to do and could keep myself comfortable. I hate it because that means I will have to become "the mom" and be really responsible.

And it would be one thing if we could stay around the cabin and be by ourselves. But I know that my friends will want to go drive around the town by the cabins and do a lot of activities. My ideas of fun and their ideas of fun differ. I would be content with staying at the cabin, watching movies, going on hikes around the lake or sitting in the hot tub. But I know that they will want to go canoeing, kayaking, group hiking, excursions, etc.

I'm so conflicted on if I want to do this or if I don't. I want to because it does sound fun and it's the kind of stuff friends do right? But I don't want to because I'm afraid I'll ruin it for myself by overthinking everything and being negative.

[YogaLife]

I would say no if it is causing more stress. The idea is to feel relaxed. So sorry to hear about the things you have had taken from you due to Covid. It is hard to accept. You could plan a trip to take when things get better.