When someone says they need space why does it make you so anxious and sad

[Jmerrick22]

I guess I’m attached because I really love him, and my anxiety’s been bad which had me alittle clingy and he asked for some space. We’re gonna see each other in a few weeks since we’re both busy and trying to get ourselves on track. I think ultimately it’s a good thing but why the hell does it hurt so much inside. How Can I take my mind off of it? I am a person I can’t have any free time on my hands it’s my worst enemy. Like we love each other and we’re still together but I feel like again I’m catastrophically thinking and acting like we’re broken up completely and I’ll never see or talk to him again. And there is absolutely no indication of that. What the hell is wrong with me. Am I the only one that ever feels and thinks like this? I cried a lot yesterday today only once but I definitely feel down. But I respect him and if he needs space and it helps the relationship then so be it. I love him so much, we’re dating for about two months but know each other for over 6 years.

[Gambit62]

Did they actually say it was because you were clingy or is that an assumption you have made? There are other reasons why people might need space - which include life being very busy and needing to find the time to focus on other things.

Being told you are clingy is quite a difficult thing to hear because it is a criticism of the way you are behaving. it might be helpful to tease out more of what the intention was if this was exactly what was said. it may be that they were concerned about you becoming overly dependent on them, in which case you need to change it into something positive. Do you have hobbies and activities/interests that you could explore more? May be other friends that you could go and visit? At the moment you are probably stuck in feeling the negative criticism rather than being able to really see and pursue the positive and grow as a person. 'clingy' was a label attached to you at that moment but it's just a label and the you of the future doesn't have to be the you of the past.