I think I’m relying on college too much.

[DemureRose]

Since I entered high school, I’ve waited and waited until the day I left. I haven’t had a very good experience. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had really good days of fun memories but overall it’s not been great. Between crappy friends and don’t-give-a-damn teachers, who can blame me for wanting to leave? The one thing that seems to bother my classmates is losing contact with each other. That’s not something I’ve ever worried about. I don’t want to really stay friends with my high school friends. I mean a friendly hello and brief life update at the store is all I need. I’ve just always figured I’d make more friends with more similar interests or (fingers crossed) guy friends. I’ve found that high school people are just so immature and there worries often seem to be “he didn’t like my photos! Does that me he doesn’t love me!” or “omg I just can’t find the perfect dress to wear to prom!”. Now I’m not saying this stuff won’t happen in college, some people never grow out of it but I at least want to have a chance. In my mind college is a time of exploration, especially the early years. You’re inching yourself into adulthood, taking classes you may like, picking your career or figuring out you don’t want to do what you’ve planned! I am really looking forward to it. But I’m also now scared. I have so much depending on college to fix certain things in my life that I feel like I’m going to be very disappointed. I have social anxiety and I feel like maybe in an environment where few know me I can branch out and became someone different. Someone who forces themselves to go out more and not cancel. Someone who seems to have jokes and humor just flowing out of them. Someone who’s confident. But there’s always that voice telling me there’s a chance I could leave both high school and college with no friends. It could be a huge disappointment.

As people suffering with some sort of anxiety or mental illness, how did college meet your expectations (good or bad ones) on how you’d cope? Did you think it’d be a new atmosphere to become someone different? Should I keep myself contained more?

[Agora1]

DemureRose, you have the same expectations as well as fears as to what

life holds for you after high school. There are those few chosen ones that

don't give it a thought and think of it as an extension of high school days with

parties, friends and good times. Some of those people never grow.

You know Rose, there is a lot of truth in becoming who you want to be in college

because they don't know you and you don't carry the label you did in high school.

Everything you want to be in being comfortable and confident with yourself will

happen as you mature emotionally. It did for me as I followed my dreams, my

passions. It will happen for you xx

[DemureRose in reply to Agora1]

Thank you very much! Your words held a lot of wisdom I’m sure you’ve learned from experience and I appreciate you taking the time to respond.