Help! It feels like anger...

[Lvee]

Hello fam!

So I been struggling with anxiety disorder but thanks my high level of self awareness I been able to reach out and get the support I need to start my journey of healing. I been seeing therapist and I been reaching out to the few friends that I have. I also been more vocal with my family. I faced adversity growing up and always been an optimist. How did I get here? Well growing up with little I always been ambitious young man and I feel that’s been part my issue because I would pressure myself immensely and when I didn’t reach certain goals at the specific deadlines I’d get depressed. Most recently I felt very unhappy and unfulfilled at my last job and that’s when my health started to fall apart. In addition I would feed off my my boyfriends happiness and feel that it was his responsibility to make me happy. When I almost lost my 5 year relationship it was an awakening for me to get my sh** together. Now I know that all this time one of lesson in this life is self-love. I just started my journey I been going to yoga, hip-hop, hanging out with friends and growing my circle of friends. It’s been really hard because I just want to run away when I’m in a new environment or meeting new people. But I gotten to a point where it’s become manageable with my anxiety. I been reinforcing positive talk everyday and remind myself “I am love, I am compassion, I am kindness, I am peace”. This had been the second major anxiety moment I been through in my life but somehow it feels different this time around. What I mean is that my anxiety sometimes translate into angry thoughts 💭 and sometimes hurting others. This new added way of experiencing my anxiety terrifies me because I don’t want to hurt anyone and it’s not the person I choose to be. And these vicious thoughts make me have a episodes. I know for a fact that I’m a kind and peaceful person, I want to love others and love myself. Reminding myself that makes me calm down and the thoughts go away. So I been practicing compassion at a Buddhist temple for example last Thursday I want to an event to feed the homeless and I felt extremely happy doing that. So my question does anyone else experience this or has been through this? Can I get advice please and thank you

[Syllabus18]

Well I find it quite extraordinary you are handling yourself so well as opposed to what you think of yourself. I commend you for coming and speaking on the matter that you have I will definitely follow you and check in once in awhile to make sure that things are manageable for you at that moment. Warm regards

[Syllabus18]

The fact that you are being so selfless in your approach to make others happy is very good and interesting. It seems that we are both humans of the same mine. I am going to give you a follow and I look forward to hearing more of your inspirational stories

[Lvee in reply to Syllabus18]

Thank you for being kind to me and yes I’ll update my journey

[steadfast66]

What helps me is meditating on Scripture and praying. God loves you and wants us to be healthy in every way. Prayed for you.

[Lvee in reply to steadfast66]

Thank you! My faith has grown immensely I’ve come closer to god in this journey of healing. I open my heart and have faith that I’m being watched over that everything is gonna fall into place and that great things are coming. I listen to gospel music early mornings. It has help soooo much! Thank you for the prayer 🙏