A storm surging in emptiness

I wait for him to call me. I know I cannot call him. This wait keeps extending to a point when I take my anti-anxiety pills. he eventually calls me. I ask him why he didnt call earlier. He calls me needy and sick. So my anxiety increase further more. I take more pills and I go to sleep with a heavy heart.

[kenster1]

hi I am sorry to read this.please don't be taking pills that you don't need too.it wont make the problem go away and it will make you unwell.this guy doesn't deserve you then if he cant support you in difficult times.keeping you at arms length isn't right and its unsupportive.

[Hidden in reply to kenster1]

thank you. I am afraid to share my feelings of depression with him. He might leave me

[kenster1 in reply to Hidden]

hey you cant be hiding it from him and that's not fair on you.you have to open it about it to him.your health is more important and you cant let it build up inside.if he supports you then great but if he doesn't then your better off without him.

[RealEyes]

Hey Hidden ... I agree with kenster1 ... PLease don't be taking pills over some guy ! Especially if he responds with negativity towards you - by calling you names n discounting your Feelings over n over again ...

ack, who needs that - and is it a caring relationship for you ?

it is easy for me to say that, i'm sure ... In my life I also have been thru similar angst over a guy i -cared a lot about- and, I did not care for myself and i ignored my concerns over his uncaring attitude towards me. In not taking myself seriously about my concerns over his 'bad' behaviour towards me --- that decision of mine affected many years of my life ... very hard lessons for me!

Wanted to share my concerns that ... taking a bunch of pills over some guy can cause you more problems in your life than you thought at first - and Please Be Safe ... as You are an Important Person ...

I believe You are your own best friend, yes !

(and, plz take what you relate to from my post and leave the rest)

in respect to you and your life Moonlight and do take care from r-e

[Hidden in reply to RealEyes]

thank you. I feel like a darkness is engulfing me. I seek support in him which I never get. he never says what I want to hear

[RealEyes in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for your response to me Hidden (: and, i hope you are feeling a little better with each day.

I liked what RexieSF7 mentioned in their post - to me, Self Care is so vital in finding ways that help myself feel better ... SelfCare n finding love n respect for myself really changed my life some years ago.

+ Talking to a counselor keeps helping me thru many life struggles - finding one i can relate to and trust has made a big difference in my day to day life And given me hope for the future..

I liked the ideas that Rexie shared, too - music, exercising, walking and being outside in nature are helpful to me and if you like to sing or dance or play an instrument ... Go for it ! Dancing is one of my favourite things to do !

all the best of life and love to you Moonlight and chow for now, r-e

[RexieSF7]

I'm so sorry that you are struggling and feel so alone. In my own chronic illness experience I have come to learn that I can't expect my loved one to be my all to me. It is a lot to carry so I have had to learn to love myself and incorporate things into my day that helped build my own self up through self care. Sometimes we are too needy on others and they are only human themselves trying to make it through this world and can only do so much for us as they can not live our lives for us... we must live our own lives and enjoy them in our lives as part of that. It is very hard when we don't feel good but it is important in order to get somewhat better. Listening to uplifting things, exercising a little bit, baths, good food, daily stretching etc are good things to incorporate into our days to build ourselves up both physically and mentally. I pray that you take some time for self care and if you do not already have a counselor hoping maybe you might reach out to one. It is so much better to share things there to get them off your chest than to someone who may not have the time or energy or want to listen right now. If you need a suggestion I can find you a nationwide one.

[Hidden in reply to RexieSF7]

thank you so much. There is so much inside me that needs to come out. I cant handle it anymore

[RexieSF7 in reply to Hidden]

Did you want to talk to someone? A professional?