Health anxiety

[herbie73]

Hi there, I’m new to this forum, I will try to keep it quick and simple as my story does go on, so basically I suffer health anxiety and ocd, have done for about 32 years, since I was 13, I’ve had many bouts of it, I thought I’ve had, hiv, breast cancer, womb cancer, cervical cancer, lung cancer, skin cancer and the list goes on, at the moment I’m having a bad time with a small dent in a bunch of stretch marks on my boob, I know they have been there ages and I can clearly see they are stretchmarks, but my stupid health anxiety won’t let it go, I’ve been fretting about this for 6 weeks, I did mess my medication up as I wasn’t taking it properly, I think that’s what triggered this episode, I’ve been taking my medication regularly for almost 6 weeks, it’s 60 mg of Prozac, but I still feel I have a long way to go, I’m sick of checking and googling, I absolutely hate the Drs, I only go if I think it really necessary, I won’t go about this episode as I know this isn’t a new symptom I’m just focusing on it, anyway sorry for the long post herbie xxxx

[Icanbeathis2016]

Yes. That healthy anxiety is definitely debilitating. I have those same thoughts. Its amazing how we can all relate that our mind totally scares us with thoughts that everything is cancer and other health scares. There has been so many times I am stuck in tunnel vision for hours throughout several days convinced about some sort of cancer. And don't let me hear of someone else who does really have this, I am afraid even more.

You are not alone. Its a tough battle when you have convinced yourself because you really believe it and its seems so hard to talk yourself out of the same horrendous, intrusive thoughts that you brought on yourself.

[herbie73 in reply to Icanbeathis2016]

It really is a tough battle, every time I have a new symptom I think this is it I defiantly have something incurable, it’s awful, I’m just hoping in time cause that’s what it takes I will see it for what it really is, like I have before but at the moment I’m convinced something I’ve had for a long time is going to kill me, and my brain has convinced myself that it’s serious, so I’m convinced this must be what’s going to get me this time , when does this crap end xxx

[Icanbeathis2016 in reply to herbie73]

Yes I ask the same thing. I'm always in a constant battle. And yes time heals because thankfully I can remember times when I had some good days and wasn't stuck in my head. I was actually my usual motivated self. But unfortunately when it's bad, it's bad.

I wish us the best.

[Beevee in reply to Icanbeathis2016]

As you probably know, its not a smooth and gradual path to recovery. You will get very bad days, some slightly better, one or two moments of peace before slipping back into the mire. This is how recovery works. Treat it all the same and accept it. Keep accepting it, keep resigning yourself to how this is how things are going to be for a while. Its almost like living without any expectation that you will recover and simply living your life regardless. When you have that attitude, you start to recover! You have no control over anxiety so dont bother trying to control it because this just makes you go round in ever decreasing circles!

[Icanbeathis2016 in reply to Beevee]

So good to hear from you. Always great getting advice from a wise man!!!! Thank you for the constant reassurance.

[Beevee in reply to Icanbeathis2016]

Wise? Ha ha 😂 Recovery is very much a process you go through. Through my own experiences, journey to recovery and the benefit of hindsight, I made many mistakes. The biggest mistake was respecting many of those negative thoughts created by anxiety. The ones I respected the most and therefore feared centred around my relationship with my wife and job. Of course, there were many,many more but because those two meant something to me, they stung the most and spent time worrying about them which added more stress. However, by continually facing those fears and letting my anxiety run wild, (and not doing anything about it) those fears faded away. This is why carrying on, regardless of how you might feel is very important because this is the only way the brain learns that there is no threat and stops sending messages to the parts of the body that secretes adrenalin into the system that makes you want to run or keep your senses on high alert. Bit by bit, those thoughts and feelings lose their importance and simply fade away into nothing. For a while, I still felt anxious, especially during the mornings but didn’t have any anxious thoughts. It was just the physical side such as feeling on edge when I knew there was nothing in my life to make me feel that nervous. I could not have worked that out had I sat at home brooding about how I felt or not faced my fears. At the height of it all, I still did everything. I did presentations at work even though I doubted myself. I carried on doing everything to the best of my ability, under the circumstances and shirked at nothing. It was very hard at times but the more I went down the path of acceptance, the more my confidence in following this process grew. I caught glimpses of my old self and built on that, knowing that setbacks would come but to accept those too. I used to tell my wife when I thought I was having a setback but then got to the stage that I didn’t feel the need to. I had accepted them because I wasn’t complaining about them! So, when you think you have slipped back, allow it all to happen and view it as an important part of the recovery process. They are not a sign of how far you have to go to recover, they are a sign of how far you have come and an excellent opportunity to practice acceptance and tell your brain that there is no threat. The brain can’t learn when you are not anxious. It only learns when you are feeling anxious and remain passive towards the thoughts and feelings swirling around.

You can beat this, Icanbeatthis. Anyone can beat this. They just need to understand that the best thing to do is to do nothing about the symptoms. Feel the fear and do it any way!

Beevee ♥️

[Icanbeathis2016 in reply to Beevee]

You're right. And although its been an unpleasant ride, I've grown alot. I have my biggest issue is focusing on my health, so it makes this journey so hard to accept. And while I still go about my day doing my usual routines, I still find myself focued on my physical symptoms or my health. My thoughts are always still running rampant even when I'm going about my day, whether at work, church, mommy duties, etc. Hopefully that will go away. I feel like I'm still have a long way to go sometimes and I battle with deciding if I should starts meds or continue to go through this without since I have gotten through it before.

[Joonbug]

I have health anxiety also. It really can be debilitating. I’m really trying to just be present and live my life one day at a time. I’m trying to practice gratitude daily also. Body scan meditations on YouTube also help me. I’m not perfect not will I ever be. Just want to live a normal life.

[herbie73 in reply to Joonbug]

Thank you I will try that, anything that helps xxx

[Maryankyle]

Same here, suffered for 5 years now. Had been to a lot of drs neurologist, ENT, gastro, rhuematologist, cardiologist, urologist until i end up to a psychiatrist. Always thinking with worse scenarios. simple problem makes me frustrated and lead to sleepless nights. Right now i am taking xanax for my sleep. This feeling is awful. I have been trying everything. But there are still good days. So if where in that moment just make the best out of it.