Getting better

[Hopefortoday]

I haven't logged onto this site in a while! but I figured I would share a semi positive post. Last year around this time I buried my last sibling my brother and became what I always felt like a hyper vigilant, over responsible only child for real. Anxiety for me is triggered a lot by out of control situations and I usually panic trying to control or scan to find something to fix, finances, loosing weight, friends in the past. The result was a build up of self defeat. Anxieties physical symptoms although I hate them they taught me to say no, to stop caring until it hurt. These days I still have a hyper vigilant attitude towards any anxious situation or physical feeling yet I know and have tested the minute I say its just the anxiety relax, I was able to physically relax and see how my own attitude towards unmanageability in life occupied by some really nutty thinking based on fears that I won't meet my own expectation sets me up for the stress response. I stress myself by not caring for myself, not supporting myself. So I was praying to remove my fear of the symptoms now I pray for help taking care of me. I may never be free of symptoms, of the tapes in my head that are fear based but I can acknowledge it all and just accept it as a part of me instead of running.

[Agora1]

I like that acknowledgement of Acceptance on the things we can change. xx