I can't accept that anxiety is causing this.

[jaderbug]

This is most likely going to be a very awkward post, but I sincerely need some form of advice/help/or even kind words. It's very hard for me to tell my mom that I have symptoms of PGAD, and even tell doctors that I do, because it's embarrassing and they don't know what I'm talking about.

Since about April 20th, I've been experiencing nearly almost constant arousal (that seems to only act up when I think about it and become anxious), and the fear of nudity, and the fear of orgasms. I'm so afraid after reading about this disorder, and watching documentaries, which I read and saw about before I started having symptoms. I know that this is my anxiety causing it, I've already accepted it. But I'm still scared to death, because I know the brain is powerful, and my brain doesn't seem to wanna listen to me. I'm so afraid of feeling any sensation now, and ultimately I'm too afraid to even do deep breathing because of my fear of orgasms (I get hot flashes every now and then and I try to convince myself that they are orgasms.) I probably sound utterly crazy, and I feel crazy. I feel like this is making me go insane. I am only 18 years old, I start college in 2 weeks. I had to quit my summer job because of these pains, and nobody seems to really relate to me or understand me. I've been started to get really bad suicidal thoughts, which I haven't had in years. I'm really afraid, and I don't know how to get past this. Having chest pains and numbness in your arms from a panic attack is one thing, but arousal??): I would never wish this upon anyone. I have a psychiatrist appointment tomorrow, and I've noticed that xanax and klonopin take my pain away because I'm not able to feel anxiety. I can't rely on pills, and I'm afraid to face my fears especially when I've tried for a few days and it seems like everything just gets worse every time I try to face my fears. I feel hopeless and sad. Sorry this is so long, but if you got this far, thank you for taking the time to read this. I am horrified.

[BonnieSue]

Hey, jaderbug, you sound like both depression and anxiety are having a field day with you. Don't let them win. You are not crazy, you are being attacked by these diseases and your doctor and the right meds will help a lot. if your anxiety meds help, take them as prescribed but report firmly to your doc in the least amount that keeps the arousal symptoms and all anxiety symptoms at bay. You already know that you won't be surprised by an orgasm because you've tried to convince yourself a hot flash is one and it didn't work. Arousal is a long, long way from arrival at orgasm. I've had this problem but from bipolar II type of depression. It's awful and nobody is going to understand any of this except a fellow sufferer or an exceptional doc who has read and absorbed the correct info about these diagnoses and symptoms.

Suicidal thoughts are another problem completely. You MUST tell someone you trust about this. Call the 24 hour Grace Christian Suicide Prevention Service at 1.800.982.8032 or the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1.800.273.8255. Do it if you have to because you have people who love you who would be devastated. You know it's not your answer. You are already being treated...make sure you tell the doctor in the morning how very depressed you are so that you're put on an antidepressant of some kind and that you take it faithfully. It often takes 3-6 weeks to start feeling it work and even longer to fine tune the dose. OK?? Give it that time and let me know if you aren't put on an antidepressant. Your anti anxiety meds will work to improve these pain and arousal and anxiety symptoms better EVERY DAY. Like all of the thoughts you don't want...you might have a little OCD...obssessive-compulsive disorder...which people live with all the time with no meds...but your meds will cover it anyway. So don't worry about that, it'll get less and less. Why not wait on facing your fears until you feel a little better...you'll be better able to face them after you're much stronger...and the meds will get you there.

I must go now and study PGAD for you but I wanted to write to you right away. We can talk again if you want to. Love yourself, you're not crazy, just needing the chemical balance in your brain brought back under normal balance.

[kishamobley]

Read and learn the 23rd psalm in the Bible. God will be there for you no matter what! When you start to feel these feelings recite this prayer even if you have to do it over and over until your symptoms subside. You need a positive mind diversion.

[kishamobley]

Do not take yourself out of this world. Believe me when I say you are here for a reason and a purpose. Let's do this together.