Patriarchy, Psychology and Women’s Mental Health

I know some will disagree with the reality of Patriarchy and female subjugation (including in the USA), but I am not here to debate reality: all I will say to those people who still deny women’s oppression...ignorance is bliss.

Now, for those of us who are informed and aware, I wanted to list the common experiences female people have in society that can result in anxiety, depression and trauma/panic attacks.

1) Domestic and Sexual Violence (Also: Male Violence against Females)

2) Silencing and Dismissal when speaking up about concerns/problems/violence as well as social isolation/abandonment after speaking up.

3) Workplace Discrimination and Street Harassment

4) General exposure to a male-centric and misogynistic-pornified culture (and the sexualization of children)

5) Medical discrimination (having female concerns ignored due to male-centric medical research, having physical conditions ignored/unchecked due to the sexist myth that women exaggerrate/psychological issues).

6) Sexism in Mental Health treatment (ex: you seek therapy for rape recovery and the therapist tells you “you need to learn to say no”.)

7) Unpaid or underpaid labor

8) Being unable to access safe reproductive care or being denied access through male-created-state-laws

In my experience, as an educated-woman trying to describe these experiences with mental profressionals, therapists/doctors rarely acknowledge the realistic difference for women and why we might suffer warranted mental health issues in a societal context. This can lead a woman to think everything is just in her head and all her fault.

But it’s not necessarily your fault or a “chemical imbalance”—it might be normal, considering the circumstances.

Now, I know what’s its like to experience crippling anxiety, depression and trauma to the point where you become dysfunctional—and that’s exactly where the Patriarchy wants you, sister.

Some women may find that mental health treatment makes matters worse—even if they seek female profressionals. However, practically no one will tell you maybe need to stay away from mental health treatment—you just need to keep trying and “shopping around”.

But if you’ve been “shopping around” for years and had bad experiences with medication, it might be time to consider that psychology, and the practice of mental health treatment, isn’t going to work for you and is actually harmful.

Afterall, psychology and its practice has a rough history when it comes to female patients/clients. First there was hysteria and penis envy, then there was electroshock for lesbians and now abuse and rape victims are diagnosed with Bordeline Personality Disorder before they’ve even had a week to recover.

If psychiatry or therapy has worked for you, awesome. This post is not for you.

This post is for women who need an alternative outside the system.

So, what do you do if the system doesn’t work?

-Support groups can be helpful, just maintain boundaries.

-Be your own counselor and guide: Force yourself to be loving and caring towards yourself. You are capable of being rational too, and you need to be the adult in your life. For example, if you’re struggling with disordered eating and body image—remind yourself that those size 0 images are about making money and preying on insecurities—you do not want to look like that and you certainly don’t want to attract the attention of sadistic people who think women are supposed to look like that. Plus, if you try to be a size zero you can damage your body, go crazy and die—or get committed and everyone will treat you like an incompetent infant for the rest of your life. Your mental health history and a truly-damning permanent record.

-Healthy eating and moving your body in comfortable, fun ways: It’s true, the secret to a happiness and health is eating a proper diet and moving around/exploring. Learn to love fruits, veggies and lean proteins, nuts, quinoa and eat a variety of foods in your diet. Buy local and organic when you can—and that includes butter and honey. You can also go vegan. Don’t restrict too much and get outside. Don’t worry about how you look too much—focus on how you feel and if your digesting things well.

-Remove or avoid people who make you feel bad or worthless (this includes family): If you’ve tried confronting toxic people in your life and they still don’t budge, forget them.

-Let go of feminity: try less or no makeup (trust me, your natural face is fine), let go of uncomfortable clothing and heels that damage your feet and spine (YES). Its okay to indulge beauty but I honestly think many women take feminity to unhealthy lengths (because adverts make money off that). Don’t care if others treat you differently, you don’t want superficial people in your life anyway. People may call you crazy or pathetic or ugly...but they’re the one with the problem. Compromise only when you have to (like if you need make-up/heels to get a promotion/career...which is wrong, by the way).

-Stand your ground and find something to believe in: You should remain open-minded and be willing to recognize when you’re wrong, but as you grow and get older there will be things that you come to understand about life. You will develop core values and you should stick to them—regardless of what other people do, say or think.

and Finally:

DEEP BREATHS WORK.

Hope this helps women who are trying to cope outside the traditional methods/system.