Just here don't know whay to do anymore

[lourocks]

Hi everyone I'm just like never asked to be here I this earth but here i am alone tired hurt physically emotionallychild abused raped as a kid wow never said that before feels good. Anyway. Now what my wife brought a man home i caught in the act in my maratal bed. Left me got evicted. Mother pretends she never did anything. All my family dead. Just mom. Who caused all my beatings by men of the month. Now 43 at a job i hate no life. 500 pounds. Was 185 instead of drugs i ate. My drug is food i enjoy it can't get a date today's girl imtrested in money looks me i have nether day to day when does it end phyc drs rip off i don't do meds not my thing diabetic killing me suffer with nerapthy high sugar can't walk but i have perfect attendance at work just alone wnt to leave this world I'm done here i got nothing left just waiting to be called home

[Agora1]

Hi lourocks, I hear your loneliness, your depression. There are a lot of people who use food as a drug. You are not alone in that respect. I'm sorry that you have had more than your share of heart ache over your entire life. The fact that you said it felt good to express what happened to you as a kid, makes me wonder did you ever have therapy? Keeping all that inside you, keeps the emotional and physical abuse alive in your mind. 43 is still young, things can change in your life if you want it. You may not have asked to be here on this earth but the fact that you are means there was and is a purpose to your life. You just haven't found it yet.

Getting a good therapist who deals with emotional eating can help put you in the right direction. Getting rid of all the emotional baggage you carry will help lighten your dark thoughts. Looking back at your posts, I see that you basically weren't on for the last 2 years. What were things like for you then. Is this most recent that your wife left you and you got evicted? You may not have family (other than your mom) or friends but you have us now.

Talking over your problems will draw others out who have the same issues. You won't feel so alone. I hope you continue coming on the forum. You are far from being done here or waiting to be called home. That's unacceptable. We are your new friends, we are you support system now. I'm glad you reached out to us again. Talk soon.

[lourocks in reply to Agora1]

Thanks so much for the great advice

[Agora1 in reply to lourocks]

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Oh gosh there are many people out there that can relate to you.