Recovery stories: Hi all, Is there anybody... - Anxiety Support

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Recovery stories

Carl87 profile image
8 Replies

Hi all,

Is there anybody else that has fully recovered on here other than Beevee? Or just anyone else that has in general throughout the history of anxiety? Recovering fully, meaning only getting nervous around normal things , like a job interview, first date etc.

I’ve tried acceptance since around August and still am accepting, I get good and bad days and am considerably better than I was however I can’t help but think my nerves are so sensitive now, just generally, where as before I developed anxiety in March, they were fine. It takes me a lot longer to heal from a normal nervous situation than before (like going to the doctors for a BP check as a typical example).

I’d be fascinated to see how many responses, if any, can relate to full recovery. I know it’s different for everybody as Anxiety is such a wide and varied subject so it’s impossible to put a timescale on things other than just allowing time itself to pass. And also I’m aware that many have more than likely recovered fully and never visited a forum since , as they wanted it to be a distant memory of their past (which I can completely understand) and is my ultimate goal too. Researching and even just talking about Anxiety is just a constant reminder to us all that we arent fully accepting, so how can I possibly expect to get better if I’m still googling about it? Lol. It’s like going cold turkey from smoking for 50 years, very very hard. The irony is , I’d love nothing more than to be rid of it entirely and to be doing something else right now than typing this post, but that’s where it gets you. The minute I feel closer to recovery, a set back happens. I know they are part of the process, but how sinister and cruel is it that it tries to draw you back in? Memory alone does that too. What I’ve been through as left it’s mark but I refuse to let it beat me.

Thanks for reading.

Carl.

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Carl87 profile image
Carl87
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8 Replies
sarahjaneR profile image
sarahjaneR

I'm not sure many fully recover from it. Do they just learn to live with it? Mine started in March too and i'm a lot better than i was then but my anxiety is random and one day i feel i'm over the worst, next day back to square one. I like reading success stories on here, gives me the hope to keep fighting. At the moment it feels like i'm treading in treacle though. x

Agora1 profile image
Agora1

CarlosBman, Yes Carlos, there is a light at the end of the long dark tunnel and if you are lucky you may even find a Rainbow :)

It didn't happen over night to leave anxiety in the dust. It took me years of suffering, medication, therapy upon therapy, even hospitalizations. But the whole time I was learning about the Mind/Body Connection and what anxiety was all about. It wasn't until becoming Agoraphobic for 5 years (never leaving the house in tht time) did I get angry for the first time at anxiety. I wasn't about to fear this monster, this entity that had taken over my life completely. Enough was enough, I used every ounce of my strength to put to work all I had achieved through therapy. First came getting off my long time benzos and then came acceptance that anxiety cannot and will not ever hurt me again.

I found other ways to substitute my medication through Meditation, Deep Breathing, Self Hypnosis, Affirmations etc. You Tube became my "go to" listening to Audio videos whenever I was stressed as well as a mid afternoon respite.

My headphones accompanied me to bed each night, listening to Relaxation and doing deep breathing as well as waking up to the headphones once more and meditating and deep breathing before starting my day.

The morning symptoms became less and less until they were completely gone. Nothing bothered me during the day or evening, I would deep breathe it away. Anxiety could not put the fear back in me. I was in control now and I intend to stay that way. The power I feel inside me is indescribable. The self confidence and self esteem is beyond satisfying.

As for my continuing to be on the forum. I had made a promise to myself many years ago that When (not if) but When I would defeat anxiety, I would pay it forward and support others going through the same struggle. In hopes that maybe I could save them some lost years like I had.

Keep Positive Carlos, You can do this. I have no doubts. Believe that it is possible. :)

Cwoods profile image
Cwoods in reply to Agora1

Wonderful reply Agora u always have such positive feedbacks and suggestions. I too wish i can beat this anxiety thing i can truely say i have come from a long way im not where i would want to be but looking back oh am i glad to be here. Im determined to beat this and i will some day.

Carl87 profile image
Carl87 in reply to Agora1

Thanks Agora for your reply, would you say you are fully recovered now? I really appreciate your story and can’t imagine the suffering you endured. Can prolonged periods of Anxiety damage us internally over time? I guess that’s another concern i’m trying to forget. An inspiring response to spur me to keep going is what I wanted, so thank you.

Beevee profile image
Beevee

Hi Carl. Just to pick up on your point about researching anxiety. Like you, I googled away looking to find the elusive cure, looking for ways in which I could rid myself of those horrible thoughts and feelings. Occasionally, they did bring temporary relief, even visits to the doctor helped. I’d have a good chat, feel better and skip out of the surgery thinking I had turned a corner and all would be well only to slip back soon after. Anything I did to stop the anxiety just didn’t work.

However, if you are researching the internet to understand more about anxiety and not using it to rid yourself of the feelings, then carry on. The more you understand, the less you will find yourself on google. It took me a while to fully grasp what it meant to accept (I’ve posted lots of information on here about the subject) and only did this by reading posts on another website called Anxietynomore.co.uk and a book written by Dr Claire Weekes. I’m sure there are lots of other stuff out there, YouTube being one, that you can use to educate yourself because knowledge about anxiety is key to recovery. If you know what is happening and why, the fear subsides and it is fear that drives anxiety along. Take away the fear you have about the symptoms of anxiety and they will eventually go. Recovery is very much an up and down affair with big setbacks thrown in for good measure but I looked upon these as being a good thing (they still felt bad, mind, but just accepted it) because they were a signpost telling me I was heading in the right direction. Just take each day as it comes and let yourself think and feel whatever crops up. It’s the mind and body finding it’s own way back to an even keel and doesn’t need you to interfere with this healing process by questioning everything, trying to avoid, trying to distract yourself, trying to control it, fighting it.

Acceptance is about not caring whether or not you have anxiety. At its height, I couldn’t bear seeing the word anxiety, let alone hearing it (that and many other triggers) but can happily come on here and talk about my experience without a flicker of anxiety and that is because I lost my fear of it through knowledge and going through the recovery process. Sure, I still get a little anxious from time to time but at a level that is appropriate for the situation and know it will soon pass and don’t pay any attention to it. It doesn’t rule my life any more. All it takes is a change in attitude towards the symptoms by allowing them to do their worst, being ok about not feeling ok, acknowledging their presence, letting them go and carrying on with your day no matter how you feel. Fighting or putting up any sort of resistance just prolongs the agony.

Hope this helps and happy to help further if need be.

Best wishes

Beevee

Carl87 profile image
Carl87 in reply to Beevee

Hey Beevee, thank you again for your kind words. It does make total sense and I do know the process I have to endure. I have to accept setbacks as a good thing and not think I’m back to square one. I think to myself , I’ve not been fearing anything for a while but why am I still being presented with such symptoms again. They always pass though, I guess it is all part of the healing process as you said. I do have a fulll understanding and have to refrain from googling and as soon as I hit a setback, accept the thoughts I get of thinking I’m stuck this way forever, because i’m not. If I ever get a reminder of what i went through, I may get one surge of adrenaline to the stomach, but then it stops instantly. Other times, I can think something similar and I get no reaction at all. What’s that all about haha. The mind and body are so complex, and having anxiety is a very clever way of protecting us from any minuscule possibility of a threat. It’s not it’s fault, we taught it to react to certain things , it’s just doing it’s job. We have to retrain our Amygdala to show it that there isn’t a need to react anymore, we’re safe. It takes time, repetition and practice but eventually it gets the message and backs off. An amazing creation I guess, and if we felt no uncomfortableness every time it went off, we wouldn’t be kicking up such a fuss. But it’s meant to be uncomfortable! It thinks there is a threat, and if there ever were a real threat , such as being thrown in a room with a tiger, then yes, that’s appropriate fear and a normal reponse. How long did it take you roughly Beevee? From start to recovery if you dont mind me asking? I know it’s different for everyone though. You’re not Paul David secretly are you from Anxietynomore ;-)

Thanks.

Beevee profile image
Beevee

Carll, it seems to me that you have a very good grasp of the situation and only a matter of time before all the symptoms melt away. I too used to get fear flashes about thoughts which came uninvited but when I used to make a conscious effort to think the same thing, there was no reaction. Over time, I was able to be philosophical about it and just put it down to anxiety and didn’t spend time trying to figure out why. I just let it all happen.

I think, all told, it took me approx 5 years from start to finish but I carried on working through it all which was very tough for a long time and gave my anxiety something to focus on (amongst other things) but knew I had to keep going, keep moving forward, no matter what. There is no hiding place if you want to overcome anxiety, you have to face it head on and let it do its worst and learn not to react to the symptoms. They are harmless.

To be honest, I didn’t think too much about how long it would take to recover. I learned to accept each and every day as it came. If it was bad, so what? If it was good then great but didn’t get overly excited. You either think anxiously or you don’t. There’s not much in between. I didn’t wake up one morning and it was gone, it happened very gradually, to the point where I only noticed improvements some time later e.g. not had any bad thoughts about such and such, not feeling anxious going to the shops etc. The symptoms did literally melt away without telling me.

Had to laugh at your comment about being Paul David. 😂 For the record, I’m not but I do have to give him and his website a massive amount of credit for showing me how to recover 👏👍♥️

I bought Dr Claire Weekes’ book but his website gave me lots of practical advice and guidance (all based on the same principle of acceptance) particularly from those people who had gone through the recovery process. It was invaluable and taught me a lot. You could say I’m a disciple and happy to spread the word that recovery is possible for everyone. They just need to understand that fighting it is the wrong thing to do.

Regards

Beevee

Carl87 profile image
Carl87 in reply to Beevee

Haha thought you would’ve appreciated that comment Paul, I mean Beevee. Lol. I’ve read every blog he’s written on his site, amazing stuff, I’ve not purchased any books though (not even Claire weekes) however I have listened to all her MP3 audios I found online and when I heard them I felt she was talking to me directly, very powerful. I do have an understanding of it, I have learned all there is, I just have to fully apply the principles now rather than getting side tracked and frustrated because it hasn’t left me yet. In the back of my mind I think, ‘oh I haven’t had this symptom in a while’ then it returns a little, then goes again. The same with my thoughts, sometimes I can’t shake them, other times they aren’t there at all without me even noticing, It’s a pain, but a process and hate that I sort of self check myself mentally.

I woke up yesterday for the first time in forever and truly felt anxiety free, I felt like a new person , it’s hard to describe, it gave me hope... but I didn’t think, this is it, I’m recovered. I didn’t think this because I knew there might be more to follow, and if they are harmless, why worry about them? They will melt away in their own time when my mind and body is ready, it will happen and will most likely be unnoticed too.

Thanks again Brett.

Carl.

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