Flash back

I was getting ready for school 9 yrs old my mother had the habit of using finished cearal boxes as rubbish bin I woke up poured Albran in my bowl but my sister after cleaning her hair brush put a huge pile of long hair in the box out come cearal with a ball of hair my mother was in hospital having her varicus veins cut out my father was in he'll of a mood I went to throw away the bowl he screamed "you don't waste good good you eat it" I wouldn't he stood over me screaming spitting over the bowl EAT IT NOW so me scared to death I are it and was heaving the hair sticking in my throat. Then after I went to school only to be molested by my teacher. Every time I see hair or think I have hair in my mouth I panic can't breath but my one horrible sister would put hair on my favourite food Sunday dinner specially if we have rowed. I stopped talking to my youngest sister when I realised at least 40 % of the beatings was over her . You see on Christmas my mother would put balloons on ceiling with drawing pins and one came lose so she stepped on the drawing pin screamed my Dad came in the room beating me saying you don't touch my girls. We did fight but she gave just as good and she started it mostly. After realizing my father was auickquick to beat me my sister made my life he'll. She would open her legs really wide and open her vagina wide making me shout out in disgust my Dad run in punch me several times this went on till I was 15 when he punched me in the chest and instead of cowering I stood there with so much anger and I shuved my face in his he looked really scared and walked away things changed after that but left me with so much anger and hate it ruined all my relationships with people.

I have many more stories like this to tell you all. Some brutal torturous my mental health worker said.

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  • Dodo, I just wanted to reach out to you as from reading your posts I can see that you've suffered great trauma in childhood. I can identify with this, and just want to say that you're amazing and brave, and I hope that your meditation and guitar playing is giving you some peace and enjoyment. I hope your therapist is helpful too - are you able to receive trauma therapy? (I hope you don't mind me asking).

    Sending you warmest wishes, and know that you're amongst friends here.

    Namaste.

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