Panic attacks the started last november

[empress989]

Last November I experienced my first panic attack while at work. The worst part is I just finished my doctorate hours to become a psychologist. I started feeling these panic attacks everyday while with clients and I began to start canceling and calling off. The last 4 months have gotten worse where I can't even bear to be at work to the point I started looking for jobs outside of my field. About a week ago, my chest began to hurt and my heart would not stop racing through out the day. I literally thought I was having a heart attack. I have been unable to shake the feelings and now I'm jittery all the time. I just left my field and will start a new job on Monday, one I previously worked for 9 years. I know I'm competent at the job but feeling the way I do right now makes me doubt everything. I have fear of being anxious the first day and just passing out. I was never like this before in my life and always felt confident in my abilities. Now I don't even want to get out of bed. I'm not ashamed to admit that I was diagnosed with major depression at 23 due to a head injury and an anxiety disorder then. I have always been high strung and a perfectionist. Now I cannot even get the smallest things accomplished during the day. I want to be who I was but I am unsure if I can ever get there. I have thought about just forgetting about a job bc it seems like I cannot even stay a full day with these feelings. I'm a failure and have basically just given up what could have been a bright future.

I have to say that I understand what my clients used to talk about and how uncomfortable all this can be. It's a shame and I seriously don't know how some live with this for years. It's been 9 months for me and I'm about ready to throw the towel in

[Savannah_claire_]

Wow. Was there anything stressing you out before you had your first panic attack. Maybe you have been having these panic attacks because of getting your doctorates hours. Maybe talk to a therapist or do some deep breathing ! I know panic attacks get in the way of a lot and will make you feel you can't do anything! Do something that will make you happy!

[empress989 in reply to Savannah_claire_]

Hi Savannah. Last February my Pomeranian was attacked and mauled in my arms by my own German shepherd. While they were understanding at work, I was expected to come back quickly and deal with others problems. I had one person tell me I looked.like shit and had a client who was cutting herself and calling me constantly. I think I just got overwhelmed completely and had little support. Now to know me is to know my Pomeranians are my kids and she was my first Pomeranian so I was devestated. I went to therapy and I was also diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis. I was in pain constantly and then dealing with the pain of my loss. I think something inside of me broke. I tried changing antidepressants and they put me on a tryciclic for my internal pain. The meds gave me horrible side effects and the withdrawal was terrible. So....the one med caused my heart rate to go up and I already had a problem with my heart. So now I'm at a point where I have asked to go back just on Prozac and come off the other. I think everything is just compounding on top of each other. I'm burnt out...my body and my mental faculties are just completely burnt on both ends

[Savannah_claire_ in reply to empress989]

Wow. That is a lot. Especially since its so hard to deal with other people's problems and you're just trying to deal with your own. I understand why you got a new job. I'm sorry about your loss! That's not cool at all. Write down at least six things that can help you through your panic attacks. And see if that may help you. I'm sorry you're going through this. Just know it gets better, one step at a time.