Dear Evan Hansen and depression: "when you...

"when you're broken on the ground, you will be found..." -you will be found (dear Evan hansen)

My friend was talking to me a while ago and was saying how she didn't understand emo people. That she didn't understand people who could hurt themselves and show it. That suicide is selfish and she couldn't understand. Basically that she didn't get depression. I told her that you can't understand it until you've been through it. She wasn't sure if she had or not... I told her that she'd know. Depression for me was being brought to my knees cause I couldn't possibly find the strength to stand at any given moment. Depression for me was crying so hard that I couldn't breathe, just begging Jesus to take my life. Begging for a terminal illness or for a fatal car accident. Depression for me, was cutting a paper clip so it was sharp and dragging it across my skin cause it distracted from the pain in my heart. Depression for me was constant voices in my head telling me a million different things at once. Depression for me was not having the will power to do anything as simple as walking out of my bedroom. Depression for me was wanting to die but not wanting to do that to the people that I knew in my head loved me but not in my heart. Depression was a daily battle the left me battered and bruised day after day after day. Depression left both physical and mental scars that will always be apart of me and my story. But, I kept fighting. I didn't let the pain win. I found a way to stand even when I felt utterly alone. And that's why Dear Evan Hansen is so important. Because it tells the world what it feels like to be broken on the ground, just waiting for someone to reach out there hand and just be there. It reveals the pain of crippling fear and loneliness that leaves you thinking you could disappear and the world would be better off for it. It makes the people who desperately need to be found, heard. And it gives hope to a world of people, on their knees everyday, begging to die. It's the voice of those whose voices broke along with their hearts. So, when you don't feel strong enough to stand, you can reach out your hand and someone will come running. You'll be found.