Will redecorating actually help?

[Ummijan]

So I get very anxious in a messy house. I can go into the whole back story and such but no point. FaCT is that mess and clutter stress me out, I get so busy fantasing about a clean home I never get cleaning because no matter how much I clean it's never good enough. The house looks messy and cluttered anyway. Doesn't help that my hoover is broken and my dryer is broken but mostly it's clutter. Even when I neater everything up on the shelves, it doesn't look right, it's all different styles and colours. Mostly reused boxes that attract dust and spiders and such. Even when I paper them to look prettier they aren't nice enough. All I want is a clean room, white walls with my kids art on it (the only disorganisation I like) and all storage out of sight behind white boxes.

So I finally have the money to buy the boxes I want and I'm scared it won't make a difference. That it'll still be a nasty mess.

[Hidden]

Hello

This could be a little ocd you have as when we have ocd no matter how perfect something is it never looks good enough to us even if others tell us it is wonderful we never believe it

Can you get some cheap white paint and paint the walls white as you say you would like them and get the new boxes you can now afford and pack up things out of sight , I would imagine that will look fine and if your mind tells you otherwise you know it has to be anxiety related and maybe a little ocd creeping in with the anxiety and if so I would speak with your Doctor about how you feel and get all the support you can

Good Luck, I hope you get to do it and I hope even more your mind settles and you like it after you have

Take Care x

[Ummijan in reply to Hidden]

Thanks. Can't paint the walls alas, had to paper them and it look horrid. No point redoing that as hubs hopes to find a new house in the coming year. But I'm hoping the boxes will help. I just want everything to be neat and look organised for a change lol.

It's like the more I try, the more I fail, the less I wanna bother trying again. If that makes sense.

[Agora1 in reply to Ummijan]

You tried Ummijan. I will say taking on wallpapering is a difficult job. The boxes will certainly help and make it a little easier if you do move in the coming year. You'll be one step ahead. x

[Ummijan in reply to Agora1]

Thanks

[Muss79]

You have to think positive. I know its easier said than done! Set yourself a small task every day...wether its cleaning a small area of your room or if its painting one wall...i find painting quite therapeutic and once i have completed my task i look back at it and makes me feel good that I actually did that myself! Try it...hope this helps

[Agora1 in reply to Muss79]

I agree with you Muss79, Setting aside a small task every day will actually accomplish more than looking at the whole picture and getting overwhelmed. Then nothing gets done. Good advice.

[Ummijan in reply to Muss79]

Oh I've tried that. I've tried step hy step and countless plans. My hubs has now said that if I find it easier to do the whole house in one big go once or twice a week then to give that a try. But I just feel so hopeless about it all.

I enjoy cleaning, it relaxes me and I feel a sense of accumpliment afterwards, but it's always short lived because there is always something I've missed. It takes alot of energy out of me, as I have chronic pain issues, and I just want to have a nice house. I don't care about what others think of my home just me and my hubs and kids.

[TLCTNT]

I'm feeling smothered by the clutter in my home. I'm far from OCD, I lived with a man who was so I'm sure of it. I'm the type if I can't find something right away, I panic. So I am getting some heavy duty plastic bins with lids and storing things I don't need everyday in them and stack them up. My bedroom has no closet so I have been using the small one in the master bath. I'm tired of it, so I ordered a large closet on wheels with shelving and shoe racks that has a zip around cover for my clothes and put it in the bathroom. I have tons of makeup from subscription boxes scattered everywhere, so I bought some beautiful Shabby Chic boxes to store it in. I am into shabby chic decor so I have put doilies on my dressers and bookcases in my room, put up wall stickers of Paris. I am giving my bedroom and bath an overhaul. I can't control the clutter of others but I and you can make ourselves a peacefull, stress free area to go to and enjoy when anxiety flares up. I want white walls too, but stuck with Light Latte'. You can even make a quiet little nook with your favorite things, hobbies, magazines, etc..... and divide it with super cheap cardboard or hang a pretty shower curtain. Good Luck

[Ummijan in reply to TLCTNT]

Thank you for the ideas it's so refreshing to chat with others who are as keen on enviromental astetics as I am lol. My hubs doesn't care what colour it is or what it looks like so long as it's clean lol, and my kids don't care a jot so long as they can play lol. But I find on the days when everythingis neat and orgnaised, that I'm more motivated and have more energy and as such am a better version of me.

I'm at ikea right now as they have the style I want at a price I'm comfortable with lol.

I loved to have the house in such a way that, if I have to move then I can just pick up the boxes and go lol. I like very minimalist and I like to know that when I leave a room I don't have to worry about my kids whilst I'm out. If that makes sense. A messy room means alot of stress for me, which isn't far on my family. My hubs thinks I'm over sensative to it, he never says that outright though (he knows better lol), but I feel justified in my obsession to be neat and packed away.

[TLCTNT in reply to Ummijan]

It seems to be less stressful and less to worry about when things are in order. My Granny was the same way and it rubbed off on me over the years.

[Ummijan in reply to TLCTNT]

My gran was the same. But no one ever taught me. My dad says it's like a skill, cleaning and organisation, that one needs to either be taught or find a way to teach themselves. I'm on the latter lol.

My mum, bless her, suffered from very bad depression and the house was a mess constantly as I was growing up. Friends from her church would come every few months to clean and pray that we'd maintain it. And we tried. But my brother wouldn't bother if mum didn't (spoilt mommas boy lol) and I got too angry by my teens and too resentful to my mum. So I missed a lot of opportunities to learn how to manage a house.

I have since studied tons of articles, essays, guides and videos. And I will get there, but in my minds eye I always see my mums house, it's like my mind is stuck there. I need to get out of that habit and make my home my own (I dont live with my mum anymore btw). I will get there, lots of old habits to break.

I just gotta be less judgy on myself, the more I beat myself up the less I get done.