Suddenly worrying about something that happened years ago...

[Lucas29]

Does that ever happen to anyone? A mistake/regret from the past pops into your head and you cannot get rid of it? Been anxious all week for something I did years ago, why am I suddenly obsessing over this and what can I do? Appreciate any answers!

[Jenrolil]

I have this problem too. With me it started with a feeling of guilt that I couldn't explain. Just a feeling in the pit of my stomach, along with anxiety and dread. I then felt compelled to search for reasons for this , looking back at my past as far back as very young childhood and then was bombarded with memories of so many things I did that I now think were absolutely terrible. I also suffer from depersonalisation which makes it worse because I feel like I'm looking at myself and my past through someone else's eyes and that person feels a stranger. At times I get this terrible feeling that I am actually evil. I'm sorry I can't offer any solutions but just wanted to say I can identify.

[Lucas29 in reply to Jenrolil]

Thanks Jen, I just needed someone else to say that yes, they have experienced this. Really appreciate it. I know im not alone with this awful feeling

[DAWN37]

Hi I can also identify with this, I regularly suffer with this and it can literally drive you crazy. I go over and over things that happened 20 plus years ago and I drive myself mad trying to recreate all the details and the whys and whats if. I f I cant remember every detail Its unbearable and I can be totally obsessed. I've had this since I was younger but now I'm able to try and control it rather than it controlling me. When I recognise Im getting out of control with my thinking I try to bring myself back to the here and now and say out loud or in my head I acted like that years ago because at that time that was the best thing I could do, or just accept a situation happened for whatever reason and that's past. Its retraining yourself to accept and try to move forward and away. It is very hard and a constant battle but I do control my obsessive thinking better now I'm older and I have learnt techniques from therapies and reading up on managing anxiety etc.

[Lucas29 in reply to DAWN37]

Hey Dawn, thank you so much, it really does do something for me when someone else knows. Yeah, the 'At the time, it was the best thing I could do' reminder is good. Is that an Eckhart Tolle thing? I think I heard him say that

[DAWN37]

Hi Lucas,

No its not a quote from Eckhart Tolle? not heard of this person but will google.You always must remember you are not alone or the only person who is going through these things. As I was coming into work this morning I had unwanted thoughts from 30years ago I had to stop it quick as I could feel it getting out of control.

Best Wishes

[Hidden]

I've been going through similar things myself. Like Dawn, I try to recollect trivial details from events that happened as long ago as the eighties and I get so incredibly anxious if I'm unable to remember every little thing. I'm starting to contact people I haven't seen for over 25 years as though I only saw them a week or two ago. I think I'm going slowly mad but it's some relief that I'm not the only one experiencing this sort of issue.

[Katiena]

Hello I am 30 years old and I am going through something very similar. I have all my past memories flooded back to me and the sad part is most of it had memories of relationships , sour breakups which created huge anxiety to confess and finally I landed confessing my husband he was first not able to digest so many things he hardly knew about me till now but he has accepted me for what I have been through and what has happened in my life still few days after all this happend my life again went upside down it's like my mind started showing me what if scenarios for something I never did in past and it started showing worst case scenarios and created lots and lots of anxiety to the point it wanted me to ruminate and recall every details of the relationships I have been through or whether I have done something that could affect my future badly or create embarrassment for my loved ones. But with all this I have understood one thing that if you have done something you would never need a reassurance it's your OCD that forces you to go back and ruminate and make you anxious so the best thing one can do is if the brain tries to trick you it's better you trick the brain by just letting the thoughts be as it is and dont care or dont make it your reality and also never ever go back in life and try and recall your events because it will take away all your mental energy and you will start believing things that are not even real which would make you more anxious. So Lucas this is for you dont let your past overpower your present cherish every moment and live in today and secondly if your mind tells you you dont love your wife instead of proving your mind through mental compulsions by saying you love her and starving the monster which will never ever be satisfied just start believing in your heart because your heart is your true friend and yoir mind is your biggest enemy.

[J1234P in reply to Katiena]

Thank you this really helped

[Katiena]

And one tip for everyone I would like to give never ever fear your ocd thoughts to the point you start ruminating once you stop fearing and thinking over it again and again they will.lose their power and you will be happy again