Im new here
This was a long distance relationship for the most part and hes in the military
we had always been on and off but now weve officially been broken up for a couple months. He told me its because he thinks he has borderline personality disorder(bpd). hes never told me that until now. he explained to me how he can be such a fake person and even during our relationship, he wouldnt feel anything at times and he would fake emotion, but he told me that it was real for the most part.
This makes me feel very confused because in our whole relationship it felt like he was being genuine about everything. He made me feel like he was the one for me. I try my best to not be naive when it comes to relationships and im very good with getting vibes from people and i always knew he would be fake with others but not with me. and now im questioning everything. Throughout the whole relationship he would tell me that he didnt even like checking out other girls and he always wanted me and made me feel like i was the only one for him. Which i didnt believe at first but his actions always reassured me that he wasnt some sleezy guy. He didnt like talking to other girls who could jeopardize our relationship and would even tell me about them stop talking to them without me having to say anything.
But now I dont know how to feel. It feels like it was all a lie for the 2+ years we were together. He claims to me that it was all real but the fact the he told me he has bpd makes me feel like maybe it wasnt.
I havent talked to him for a month up until a few days ago. When i got his message i immediately felt like i was having a panic attack and ive been feeling extra anxious on days since then. Before he contacted I was okay, I would think about him constantly but wasn't feeling this bad.
In our convo he reassured me that he still loves me and that hes sorry. He told me that he still wants to see me but it would be best if we didnt get back together because he feels like he might not be able to control himself and that he doesnt want to hurt me psychically or emotionally one day. He said that its getting harder for him to control his emotions.
This may sound dumb but I feel like i should help him out because i still love him too. I feel like because hes in the military its adding stress and causing his bpd to worsen. Hes acting completely different than before he joined. Should I just give up on this?