Feeling alone.

[missdaynelson]

Recently, I left a college church group that I felt that I needed to leave. I wasn't respected, people weren't growing, and there was elements of a toxic environment. Most of the time, the people I thought were my friends honestly never talked to me unless I was in the church group sermon for that week. No relationships outside of those four walls.

I'm proud of myself for leaving. I know that it was the right thing to do. I still go to church but it's not at the same place. However, I've been feeling kind of alone. I left the church group very quietly so not a whole lot of people know that I'm not going there anymore. In some ways, I'm feeling like I'm being pulled back to that group because of the "feeling" of belonging was so prominent (even though so many people have been shut out). I'm nervous of falling into patterns that I've kept up for two years. I'm afraid I'll run back to them because I feel alone even though I'm doing what I can to be apart of a community I already know but isn't the same group of people. Even when I have an amazing fiance, I feel especially alone because he lives an hour away from me so I don't see him every day.

I'm at a loss. If anyone could help, I would really appreciate it. Right now, I'm juggling between two groups. One that I know the people really well (not the toxic group from before) or a group where I know the discussions will be productive but I don't know people there that well.

[Hidden]

Hello

I have been in similar situations in different environments and it is one of the worse feelings you can feel , especially when you think you have friends yet they turn out not to be and sometimes you can even feel that you have been used , it is an awful feeling

And yes to break away from something that was familiar knowing that it was not good for you was a very brave thing to do and you have every right to feel proud of yourself as we don't like change and sometimes can stay in situations that are no good rather than stand up and walk away so well done you

Deep down you know what is the right thing to do the fear is the thing that is holding you back , but as you have faith then draw on that and as you mention Church and sorry I a not over religious but does it not say that God is always with you and he carries you when you feel alone and everyone has left you or something to that effect , so you are not alone it can feel like it but you are not

Pick the right group for the right reasons to be a part of and have faith that by doing so you will become a stronger person and it will help you grow in not feeling you have to be where it feels familiar but to be where you can grow as a person and be more confident

Take Care x