I can't take much more...

[Breatthe-]

I'm starting to relive all the things that happened years ago when I was too young to understand, all the breakups in my families, people dying, seeing my grandma in a coma, watching my grandad die from Alzheimer's disease, losing all the people who where ever there for me... Losing my cousins, my aunt

I feel terrible guilt which has led to me not going out to talk to anyone, isolating myself, at one point harming myself...

So much stress it's affecting my health, I can not eat. It's not that I don't want to or I'm not hungry, I just can not eat... Then there not being able to sleep, constantly being tired, my heart problems..

[amandab1972]

I truly can understand what you are going through as I'm in a very similar and painful place, I was just crying about how I've lost my amazing mum and having awful flashbacks from my very unstable and terrifying childhood when I saw your post! So I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone and I truly understand your pain and situation. I am here if ever you feel like talking about anything at all. I too have shut myself away and I'm very much alone with all my pain and suffering. I don't want to be hiding away from that beautiful world out there but I'm frightened of people and what they think of me! Can I ask you if you have any help from anyone such as your dr or friends? Please just let me know if I can help in anyway. This forum is amazing with the most wonderful people who are going through similar feelings and problems just like us. There's always someone who understands. I also have heart problems, I had open heart surgery 2years ago, I'm 44 x take care from Amanda x

[Findingme]

This is a cycle of negativity where you dwell on the past, it makes you feel bad and you stay home, giving you more time to dwell on the past. Dwelling on the past might seem as if it is helping you find answers, but since you cannot change anything about the past it is dangerous to give it too much of your time. You end up not thinking about the present and allowing yourself to start to stagnate or slip back. You lose friends, fitness, money etc.

Rather than allowing the situation to continue, go and see your doctor about help quick, so that you can find a way out of the loop. Nothing gets better by ignoring it.