Anxiety/social awkwardness ....😶

Oh no its another 'Birthday'......

My mother is 50 tomorrow so theres gonna be a big party with family and friends ..!  I am DREADING this as per usual!! I've not done any socialising (in pubs) for years!! Im awkward and self concious around people and that includes family members, I find it hard to keep a conversation going and keep eye contact around alot of people and then that makes me paranoid as I think people are staring at me because they can notice so therefor a panic attack comes on and just gets worse and worse until I dragggggg myself down in the dumps about how I feel I just turn grumpy anti social and then everyone starts talking about me!  How can I change this?? its just awful.... I should be happy with the time I spend with my mum and family, I just want to ENJOY precious times like this one.... oh what can I do??????I feel like given up with everything in life feel so hopeless...😭 

4 Replies

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  • Hi Sammie,  Times with family are precious moments but when you have anxiety it is had to get excited about any social event.  We don't give ourselves a chance, the negative thought is there as soon as we learn about a family gathering or party.  Your mother reaching 50 is a time to celebrate her life.  I wish I could suggest a magic way that you could go and be guaranteed of no panic attack.   The truth is that you can't change how you feel right now.  It is what it is.  Maybe with future occasions you will have learned how to cope with your feelings, what to do and how to endure an evening.   I am hoping that you will go for your mother.  Do the best you can and try not to worry that others are talking about you.  If that's the case, they'd be talking if you didn't show up as well.  That makes them look bad and not you.  If you have used deep breathing, when you feel tense, find a booth in the restroom or go outside and start deep breathing and blowing out slowly.  It will for the moment calm your jitters. I wish I could offer you more suggestions but I will say that I hope it is the best birthday for your mom and a good time for you to celebrate. 

  • Hello....thanks for your reply your advice did help me go to my mums party afterall...I didnt feel to bad with panic im really suprised I had food out then went to the pub for abit catched up with an old school friend then came home , I was only out in the pub for 2 hours but thats very long for me im proud of myself and Im sure my family were happy I was there to see my mum get her cake....😊 hopefully this is the start of my recovery. now I can relax the rest of the weekend .Thank you very much X

  • Sammie, you brought tears to my eyes.  You should be proud of yourself, that was a great step forward.  I'm sure this is something your mother will always remember.   If you were here I would give you a big hug because I'm proud of you too.   Yes, now you can relax for the rest of the weekend.   Enjoy  xx

  • Hi Sammie

    What a lovely post to wake up to, I am so happy for you.  We all have our different problems on here and to hear a success story fills my heart with hope and joy :-)  Congratulation

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