How can I make my family understand?

This is so frustrating! Whenever I have a panic attack or I'm anxious my mum just gets angry with me and says the I'm not even trying to not worry and that I am ruining everyone else's lives but she never a thinks about how my anxiety is ruining my own life! She always shouts at me and says when I have calmed down that I am really selfish and I only think of myself and that she finds it difficult to love me when I am like this. It is so frustrating! Also she has got the idea that she has completely twigged what is causing my anxiety! (She hasn't!!) whenever I get anxious she just tells me to eat which makes it so much worse because my anxiety is about being sick and I really don't wanna eat when I feel sick with anxiety! It is so annoying! Don't get me wrong I love my mum with all of my heart but it is very upsetting when she doesn't understand and says stuff like that!

2 Replies

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  • Anxiety is a very hard disorder for others to understand. I'm sure your mom loves you too but feels frustrated at seeing her child suffering. It's not that she doesn't believe you, it's just that she is at a loss as to what to do to help you. Words hurt, I understand but it is not helping your anxiety issues in taking them to heart. It makes you feel worse leaving you even more panicky. The next time she says hurtful things to you, try saying you are sorry that it puts a strain on her and then walk out of the room. (Now the shoe is on the other foot) Your mom may realize how much it hurts you when she says these things to you. Then find a place to call your own and start the slow breathing exercises that I'm sure you know of. The best way to break the cycle of hurt between you and your mom is to disconnect for a little while. I'm hoping that eventually she will come to understand better how much it hurts you. This is just my point of view that I use for myself. I hope it helps some. Take care.

  • Have you discussed your anxiety issues with a doctor. Have you been diagnosed with anxiety disorder. If not, get a physical with blood work to make sure there is nothing wrong physically, especially your sick feeling and not wanting to eat. I know it's frustrating for you and your mom but to be blunt (sorry ) it is all up to you to work on getting better. You do have to eat healthy foods, drink lots of water, exercise and get a good night's sleep. Your mom is probably frustrated because there is nothing she can do to make it go away. You have to do the above and focus on other things to take your mind off you. Do activities that keep your mind occupied on anything but how you feel. I know, it's hard and most people say they can't change their thoughts but that is exactly what needs to happen if you want to get rid of anxiety. It takes time (months, years) and some need the help of meds and therapy. I did. Took 4 years but I rarely suffer anxiety. I accept life is filled with anxious times and I find I can work through them now.

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