Relationship anxiety

Having such a hard time trusting anyone especially men. I'm 47 have two teenagers,anxiety and pretty severe fibromyalgia. I'm a member of a couple of dating sites start chatting to guys then I just freeze. I've been on my own for about six years,split from my husband about 14 years ago after he had an affair,he went onto marry the woman. I don't think I've gotten over it,it was just awful,the lies he told,the way he treated me. I met quite a few guys after but just couldn't get close to anyone. I'm just too terrified of being hurt again and I mean terrified. So I'm sort of resigned to a life on my own but it makes me so sad as I'm a very loving person. Just don't know what to do. The anxiety just takes over and literally paralyses me.

4 Replies

oldestnewest
  • It is big, BIG, thing - trust. It is a huge thing to lose and an even larger thing to give to someone else afterwards.

    Don't forget though - the new guys ALSO have the exact same worries and fears and is probably just as nervous as you at giving their heart and trust to someone new.

    Trust me, I know! 18 years of marriage and having to start again is incredibly tough, to say the least.

    You meet a guy, take it slow, if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. You move on. Next.

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with having something for yourself and nothing wrong with fearing to trust but, then again, he is also in the same boat as you.

  • Well, honestly I wouldn't want to be the COUNSELOR guy, but to put it short, trust is no a thing, it is just a word, and then there is a feeling that we attach to that word. The truth is, you don't really trust anyone, you just happen to believe in the person, I don't like the whole concept of trust.

    Anyway, you wanting to hook up again is evident that you really are a loving person. (sorry about my word way, I can be a pain in you know where). I'd suggest, you give it time, and that's that.

    Apart from that, You always have the control. If you master the whole TRUST thing, you should be able to control the ability of people to HURT you. Don't ask me how, but such a power in you does exist, in fact it does in everyone. I hope you turn out well.

    Bliss and Bless

    PEACE....

  • I love your post...in a forum such as this where we try and learn from shared experience words/language is the only tool we have ...but as you say we should be aware that it has it's limitations and quite often can cause more confusion than clarity....then I hear/read something like ..."Bliss and Bless" and it says it all .

  • Finally someone who speaks english :P

    I wish I could shed the same amount of clarity on people, that here my friend sunshineboy shed by just a 5 liner.

    RESPECT my man.

    This is where I start following you. Make sure you follow back. Lol no, just kidding.

    BLISS AND BLESS

    PEACE.

You may also like...