I am today because of the choices I made yesterday. - Eleanor Roosevelt
Stay strong, every time I have an anxiety/ panic/ dizzy attack, I fear them less. I am learning to not fear fear. I am finally getting my life back again after a year of turmoil. Much of which was caused by me. I've learned to put my faith and trust in God and I know that when It's my time, its my time and I find comfort in that. Right now, I blow full steam ahead. I have my career finally played out before me, a plan in order and I'm starting back to college in the fall.
From my last update, I have been living a pretty independent life in the aspect of making long trips and not having to have a safe person near by. That was huge for me because, I thought I'd never see the day again. Super stoked!! I'm sociable again and love being around and seeing new people.
It's so neat to see faces too that go along with these posts. Before, I never knew what the face of anxiety and fear looked like for other people. But you are all just normal, everyday beautiful people. I wouldn't ever guess that some of y'all had any anxiety. A few months back I was in the store and I was envious of the people just walking around and having fun and I was left longing for and wondering where that all went for me.
I know this is pretty blocky and hard to follow, You wouldn't guess that I write articles for business'. But as they say, the builders house is always last to be worked on.
I hope y'all are doing great and I hope you see the light at the end of this tunnel. At first I was questioning, "Why me!?" Now, I'm glad it was me. Thank y'all all in this community. I feel we all have each others back and y'all are the only people that I can talk to that truly understand.
You will nanu11. Just don't give up. For me it only got better when I went out and fought it. Personally I usually feel horrible if I go into WalMart. I don't know if its fluorescent lights or what, but I'm fine in every store but WalMart, so I've been making special trips there to fight it. I used to have terrible agoraphobia, just a couple months back, but I forced myself to drive 30 mins away to some destination and go inside. The freeing feeling was immense.
Cool! It sounds like you are where I am at right now too. Isn't it awesome? I am doing stuff I thought I'd never get to do again. You referred to "safe people" and it made me laugh becasue I totally use those terms too and sure lost my independence for a while.
Now I go running alone....I never thought I'd be able to run!
The great thing is how wonderful doing NORMAL things feels. I mean for me I just am so excited to do everyday stuff. Things that are a chore to most people. I have so much gratitude now.
That is so great to hear! I love it! Yes, I've been able to workout hard by myself and go shopping alone. Its funny because its almost a childlike thing to say, because im an adult. Im supposed to do those things; but all the things I took for granted are such a blessing and a gift to be able to do again. I'm glad youre running and keeping healthy. Keep it up. Very inspiring. If you have the time, how did you overcome your situation?
There's a great pdf floating around out there called "At Last A Life" which talks about how so many people with anxiety have this outlook "Once I fix my anxiety I'll do xyz" and so they sit there, waiting and *trying* to fix. But the thing to do is start doing those things you want to do before you "get better" becasue anxiety is just along for the ride. And becasue the more you try to "fix" anxiety, the more it takes over.
I also started doing these things called "thought records" or automatic thought records — I used a book called Mind Over Mood that I had got from a therapist YEARS ago when I was too angry about my whole situation, or too young, or not open enough to really give it an honest try. That REALLY REALLY helped.
You can find thought record forms online but using them in conjunction with the book (or you can use them with you therapist) is much more constructive when you are getting started, but once you have them down it's totally doable to go it alone.
I think it's really interesting that I am doing a lot of the things I was trying to do ten years ago, but now they are working.
I'll also note that I am not taking any medications now. And I am not sure I could have fixed *my* issues while I was medicated (not not not to say that this would be the way for anyone else!). I was on benzos & valium and other sedatives throughout my journey but I ended up with pretty serious physical fatigue, inability to exercise, low blood pressure, etc. coupled with an inability to access who I was as a person (it's really hard to describe this part accurately)!
And the running, oh my goodness. Anxiety did SUCH a number on my confidence. A little at a lime I lose the ability to do things, first the big things, then medium things, and then the most basic basic things. And of course, I always thought I was sick or dying. But yesterday I ran further than I have ever run in my life (2 miles)—two summers ago I couldn't get out of bed because I couldn't even stand for long periods of time (side effect from meds and inactivity and agoraphobia).
How about you? Oh and I can send you that pdf if you are interested—pm your email.
Hey! At the top of your screen, click on your username, there will be a dropdown menu and one option is messages, click that, once in your "inbox" you can click the "compose" button. Start typing my username into the "Send to" space. that way you can send me your email privately!
Thank you very much for your time and care. I will pm you now. I too go without meds, due to me feeling like I need to address the situation head-on and not dull my feelings.
Thank youuu for this :)) I'm new on here but you all share the same situations as me. I have anxiety..had it for a while. It's the most annoying thing in the world. I cry to myself sometimes , wishing I could reverse certain things I have done , then maybe I wouldn't have it. But, as I look ..I've always been an anxious person & this was bound to be an annoyance to me. Well.....I have health anxiety too now ..that's been driving me nuts. Stress is like on one shoulder & my anxiety is on the other. I'm taking those steps towards relief, & for me to manage my anxiety better..it's such a journey though. I'm even crying now writing this. I'm grateful & happy :)) to see these forums with ppl showing support & true love to others ..we're like an anxious , cool team . I feel like that. I don't feel that I'm alone , I knew people had anxiety , but when you yourself get panicky ..then it's like , you get it..you like understand what it's like. My fam (family lol) sometimes doesn't get anxiety , I think..insensitive I would say . But uhmmm nice , niiiice post :)))
I literally laughed out loud when I ran across, "we're like an anxious , cool team" Great way to look at it and oh my goodness it does feel good to have people that understand. As for your family, I'm sure they just don't really understand what you're going through. Its impossible to I think for anyone to understand unless they have experienced it themselves. It's not the same anxiety that they feel or the same panic. It is a whole other ball game.
Not long ago, I wouldn't ever have thought twice about someone having anxiety. I'd be like ok, chihuahuas even have anxiety, whats the prob. Different story now though.
Wow - what a lovely positive post! So pleased you are on that road to recovery.
You are so right - the more you take to bull by the horns and say "Whats the worst that can happen", the more chance there is of absolutely nothing bad happening! The more times nothing bad happens - the less you dwell on those negatives that have happened in the past.
You have been on the downward spiral - now you are on that upward one - and it sounds like you're gonna keep on going! onwards and upwards! Great news.
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I’m not strong enough for life?
Update - Feeling it today
trying to stay strong 
Even the strong struggle!
