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Anxiety is controlling my life!

kierstenlynn24 profile image
41 Replies

I am a 15 year old girl. I was diagnosed with SVT in April of 2012. I take nadolol 20mg a day. I suffer from bad anxiety.. I need some help in finding answers and nobody seems to give them. I have seen doctors after doctor to see how to cure my anxiety. I'll tell you exactly why it is frustrating. So in December of 2012 my parents got a divorce. It really didn't bother me. But yet it did. Ok then in January of 2013 I had a esophageal test done to see if my SVT is life threatening and it wasn't.. Then I got mono a few weeks after that. Ever since the test and since the mono I have a gag feeling in my throat, nauseous EVERYDAY. I have nausea so bad that I could vomit everyday if I didn't have a TERRIBLE fear of vomiting. It's so bad that I lost 25 lbs that I didn't need to lose. I weighed 125lbs before all of this. in April of 2014 I weighed 99lbs and was almost hospitalized. I'm 5'9 so I should weigh a good 130lbs. In Septemeber of 2013 I experienced my first panic attack. I could barely breathe I felt dizzy. I jumped up and started crying and put my head under the sink. I thought I was dying. Ever since then I have terrible anxiety. I literally cannot go ANYWHERE without having a panic attack. I literally just feel so alone. I had to be homeschooled in October of 2013 because I missed so much school from these anxiety attacks. Also because I was afraid. I feel so alone... I have nobody. People just leave me for this. I get made fun of for having my anxiety and my SVT. It's just the most embarrassing thing. I need it gone! I have gained 16lbs since I moved with my mom in September of 2014. I still just haven't got rid of my anxiety. I really don't know if the nausea is from anxiety or what but I can deal with the panic attacks just not the constant nausea :( the doctor did prescribe me Zoloft at 50mg a day. it caused me the most anxiety ever. I laid in my bed every night and held my chest from feeling like I couldn't breathe. I would almost pass out from hyperventilating. I know for sure it was from the Zoloft. One night I didn't take it because I couldn't get it down from me feeling like vomiting. so I didn't take it... The next night I took it 1 hour after taking it I experienced that same feeling. So that's how I know.. I quit taki it and haven't had that problem since. I just need some kind of answers or at least someone who experiences the EXACT same! I feel alone and it isn't fun! I wish this on NOOO one. I feel like I'm living in a different world. I feel like I'm living alone. I'm constantly just never feeling good. I make excuses if anyone wants to hangout because I know i will feel bad and freak out. that's why I have lost all of my friends, from making excuses. I can't go anywhere, if I go to the mall I run outside because I feel sick or like passing out. it's just a bad feeling that I want GONE! someone just give me answers

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kierstenlynn24
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41 Replies
kierstenlynn24 profile image
kierstenlynn24

if anyone needs someone to vent to or has the same thing, please contact me at weiss.kiersten@icloud.com thankyou!

Airwindy89 profile image
Airwindy89

What is svt?

Brian50 profile image
Brian50 in reply to Airwindy89

Supra ventricular Tachycardia.

Brian50 profile image
Brian50 in reply to Brian50

It's a heart rythem issue. I have it also.

kierstenlynn24 profile image
kierstenlynn24 in reply to Brian50

have you ever thought about eblasion done??? the doctors want me to do it, but with my anxiety I'm so scared!!

in reply to kierstenlynn24

The cardiologist wanted to do ablation for me but its not 100 percent successfull

in reply to Brian50

So do I!

Airwindy89 profile image
Airwindy89 in reply to Brian50

Wow, im going to see a cardiologist Monday, I hope for good news but i know i am going to find something out. So you can basically live a good life if you take care of yourself with that issue right?

kierstenlynn24 profile image
kierstenlynn24 in reply to Airwindy89

yes! you can live fine with this condition as long as it isn't life threatening. if it is, then the cardiologist can use a catheter and freeze off the extra pathways. this is what my cardiologist explained to me so it might be different for you! goodluck on your appointment! you'll be in my prayers!

Airwindy89 profile image
Airwindy89 in reply to kierstenlynn24

Thank you very much!

in reply to Brian50

I also have it, no more than 140 beats a minute but its a frightening experience

Hellokitty1992 profile image
Hellokitty1992

Hi Hun, I no how you feel I'm the same way.. Mine is constant I feel like I can't breathe and I'm dizzy and have several more symptoms.. I've been dealing with this since I was your age I am now 22. This is really not fun.. I can't go shopping anymore which I really loved doing I walk into a store and I feel like I can't breathe and can't feel my body and I start panicking and headed for the door feeling like I need to get out of here type thing.. And sometimes as weird as this may sound I where sunglasses in the store if I do go in and people stare and laugh at me specially if it's night time and I'm In there.. But it helps comfort me a little bit and not only that the light bothers my eyes and it seems since I have had my anxiety my eyes hurt to the light now. And someone's just hurt in general and I feel so tired . I no what your feeling... It's sooooo sooooo scary...is yours all day everyday?? What do you do to cope with it??

kierstenlynn24 profile image
kierstenlynn24 in reply to Hellokitty1992

what I do for my anxiety part is I go outside.. it seems to soothe me more. it's really weird! but if I go outside it seems like everything magically goes away! I could live outside haha! I know what you mean about the light.. I see spots and things now. it's freaky. I usually feel like I'm dying or things. I loved shopping, still do! just its the worst feeling to have anxiety over something you love.

Brian50 profile image
Brian50

Oblation for your heart?

kierstenlynn24 profile image
kierstenlynn24 in reply to Brian50

yeah... the doctors wanted me to have that done...

Brian50 profile image
Brian50

My cardiologist suggested it but I asked for medication first. I take Flecainide 100mg. I have taken it for quite a few years and haven't had an attack since. Svt he said is not life threatening so I chose the medication

kierstenlynn24 profile image
kierstenlynn24 in reply to Brian50

he suggested me to have the ablation done too... I started with atenolol then switched to nadolol at 60mg then lowered myself to 20mg. I haven't had an attack since March 2014. but I'm wandering if the medication is making me have this... that's why I was wandering..

Brian50 profile image
Brian50

It just has to do with the electrical conduction of your heart. I have an extra pathway and that's what causes the svt

in reply to Brian50

The cardiologist said the same to me, i have an extra pathway

Brian50 profile image
Brian50

Ask your doctor about Flecainide. It could help tremendously. I think what your experiencing is anxiety and panic. If that med doesn't work then maybe the oblation would be a good decision. Try to calm your mind. I know exactly how you feel. I have been through what you are experiencing for a long time. Fear and anxiety will produce nausea also.

First thing hun you are young don't put your personal email out there :(

You are not alone a lot of anxiety sufferers get diagnosed with benign SVT at least that's what my cardiaologist said and e only way to get help besides the meds is therapy.

Can you get to a therapist?

You are a bit under the age limit, I believe there is a support group somewhere on here that someone recommended for those under 18.

There are a few 16 yr olds on here that you might relate to :)

You are constantly thinking of the what ifs and what's going to happen try focusing on the good and in that moment. Tell your anxiety to take a hike, that you know what it's doing and that you are not going to let it win.

I know going to public places freak me out just like you anxiety through the roof that I feel like I'm going to pass out and that I might puke but that's a no no for me I have a fear of vomiting :( so I carry cold water with me take a few sips or breath in hold my breath for a few seconds and let it out then I engage my mind on a certain item: I think about the colors, what's the item feels like, the smell or the perfume or the taste of the foods. Sooner or later your mind starts to forget the tension making you able to enjoy your outing.

kierstenlynn24 profile image
kierstenlynn24 in reply to

thank you for your advice! I have noticed if I don't think about what I'll be doing then I will be fine. I'll have to start focusing on different things. I've visited a family counselor. everytime i went in there i had an anxiety attack or almost threw up. it was so embarrassing and she told me she didn't know what she could do for me. so I just stopped going. there was no point in wasting my time...

Brian50 profile image
Brian50

You are not alone. I know this is scary but it will not harm you. Trust me I know your scared and hurting but it will pass. I'm here for you.

Brian50 profile image
Brian50

You are not alone. I know this is scary but it will not harm you. Trust me I know your scared and hurting but it will pass. I'm here for you.

kierstenlynn24 profile image
kierstenlynn24 in reply to Brian50

thank you very much! It just feels like it will never end! I'm going to my cardiologist the 6th! so I will for sure ask him.. I need to do something to get this under control. it's a terrible feeling..

Brian50 profile image
Brian50

It is difficult I know. There is an app called calm I have on my phone it helps a lot. Maybe try that. It will give you some measure of peace.

Brian50 profile image
Brian50

There is also a book thats very helpful called At Last a Life by Paul David. I pray and meditate. That also helps or a hot bath and some camomile tea.

kierstenlynn24 profile image
kierstenlynn24 in reply to Brian50

thank you a lot! hot baths help my anxiety and I drink lots of tea! I will have to look into the book and app! I also use a powder called calm... you put it in water and drink it.. you can get it in a bottle at any health food store. it helps you sleep and gets rid of the anxiety... it helps more then tea would! so you should check it out!

Brian50 profile image
Brian50

I appreciate that. I will look into it. I hope you have a good sleep if it's night time where you are and if you need anything call on me anytime. Bless you.

kierstenlynn24 profile image
kierstenlynn24 in reply to Brian50

thankyou very much! I hope you have a good sleep too! you've helped me a lot!!

Brian50 profile image
Brian50

I'm so glad I was able to help. Have peace and rest. :)

in reply to Brian50

You are kind. I think all of us care too much about everyone and everything, ultra sensitive too.

Smiler001 profile image
Smiler001

Hi hun, I'm sorry that you are so ill with this. It must be very hard for you. I understand that you have a heart condition, but are you able to do mild exercise? If so, I know you enjoy going outside. Go for a walk, the endorphins will get going (feel good hormone) and will help with the anxiety. I also swim. Its easy on the joints and find I can go off in my own little world. I find exercise helps a lot with anxiety and helps me sleep at night. But don't know how much or little you are able to do. If you are unable to do this, what about a hobby? Again I enjoy crafting and find a real sense of achievement when I have made something that I use. Again it helps with anxiety, as I realise im good at this. Look at what things you enjoy doing.

I had terrible panic attacks. I couldn't leave the house and did the same as you. Made excuses to get out of things. I too lost friendships. But you know if they were your true friends in the first place, they would not have let you go. Cut yourself some slack. It's not your fault. You just need help, as we all do at times.

You are only 15 and have your whole life ahead of you. You have amazing opportunities ahead of you and you should be proud of yourself for acknowledging that you need help. A lot of people would not. But it is vital that you get the help you need, as you can start to live again.

I too found it hard to go to counselling. But I am so glad I did. My parents divorced too and my dad was my world. I found it difficult to say the least and things gradually crept up on me. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and felt so alone. I had no one I could talk to.

But I was so sick of merely surviving and not living. I went to counselling and found that talking to someone outside of the situation helped me a lot. I also self harmed. She taught me techniques to help cope with the anxiety that would fuel it. And I still use them today.

I also talked to my mum and sister. We have an amazing relationship now and very close. If ever I feel like im getting lost again. They are there to help pull me back. Have you talked to your mum and dad about how it's making you feel? You have a right to be listened to and have your voice heard. I know my mum thought she was shielding me from the hurt. When really she was not and didn't realise how much I was hurting.

Also I was bullied and it made me sink into more downward spiral. You should tell someone, they can then address the problem and start getting it sorted. If its in school. They should have a bullying policy and address the issue immediately. There should be zero tolerance to this. It is not your fault that you have this heart condition or this anxiety. But it is important to get this stopped. It will only fuel the problem and make you feel more ill.

If the taunting is outside of school, tell your mum and dad. Or an adult you can trust so they can start getting it sorted.

It won't make everything better, but if you address each bit of the problem, break it down, so it gives an overall picture. You can start to work on each bit. It can seem so overwhelming when you look at it as a big picture. But the counselling broke each thing down and we started to work on each bit. For example, the relationship between my mum, the relationship between my dad, the depression, the panic attacks and the anxiety. In brief. But we found that everything was linked and we worked through it together to help me understand how to develop coping strategies. The coping strategies and talking helped. Over the years I have gained confidence gradually and now I am in control with the help of medication.

I hope this helps. Take care of yourself and I hope you feel alot better soon. :) just remember you're not alone. :)

kierstenlynn24 profile image
kierstenlynn24 in reply to Smiler001

thank you so much!! you've helped me a lot.. I'm able to do everything I used to so I have no restrictions for my svt! my mom & I would go for walks in the evening and it would help a lot... until it got to be winter time! lol. but I used to play softball and basketball that would help so much with my anxiety. just sucks I can't play in the winter! I'm not bullied so it isn't that :) I appreciate hearing your story! it makes me more confident i will get rid of this!

Agu8383 profile image
Agu8383

Hi , I am sorry to hear that you experiencing anxiety in such a young age. I think you are too young to be on medication and doctors don't understand how to cure anxiety and the easiest way for them is to give medication.

I would recommend to stay away from it as this is not a cure .

Remember you will not cure anxiety over night as it does take a long time . It will get easier at time and one day you will fully recover .

Let me know if you have questions I will help you if I can. I went through similar thing.

Chelseabrock profile image
Chelseabrock

Email me- I know exactly how your feeling because you and me battle the same war. Trust me. I'm here if you want to talk ok? :)

Chelseabrock97@aol.com

Brian50 profile image
Brian50

Your right del. we are all hypersensitives or empaths as they call it.

Alex14 profile image
Alex14

First of all anxiety is real but it's not here to cause u harm its a simple way for ur body to tell u its protecting u. Ive had anxiety attacks worse. But u need to know anxiety doesnt kill people. You need to control ur body before doing anything control ur breathing and control your mind. Clear ur mind of negativity. Also go see a doctor make sure ur body is fine that will relief u off the worry and fear. Take your medication if u have any anti depressant or anxiety pills to help u relax before u ur situation gets worse drink it. Helps u calm doen faster.

kierstenlynn24 profile image
kierstenlynn24

the doctors have done blood tests, X-rays on my stomach, everything and everything is normal.. the doctors said it has to be anxiety. also the reason I can't take anxiety pills is because I take nadolol to keep my heart rate low. anxiety medicine will slow your heart rate down too and that wouldn't be good for them to mix... /:

I have literally everything you explained when it comes to the symptoms and fear of being sick. It controls my life, lost alot of friends and family is frustrated with me. My husband is very supportive but frustrated when I don't want to go anywhere. Which I never want to... hope we can all find some help.. im nauseous dizzy light headed gagy feeling and restless almost all the time. I've realized I am making myself sick, so that mostly the reason why I'm nauseous. I also lost about 40 pounds over the last 5 months or so because I'm too scared to eat because then I'll get sick. Ugh. But i somehow actually ventured to the mall today and had a pretty normal shopping trip. Haven't been there in years out of fear. Some days i have a few hours that are good but most are horrible. :/ sorry that you Deal with this!

gemma1978 profile image
gemma1978

I am in exactly the same way I never thought I would find anyone who suffers as badly as I do I feel I will never be normal again x

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