The morning starts with my usual anxiety ridden thoughts, the thoughts that make me crawl in my skin and feel down right horrible. I think " these aren't true ..it's just my anxiety they don't mean anything' and that's the truth! But yet the dark cloud of gloom looms. I try to escape them under the covers but it never helps. I end up having to get out of bed to try and distract myself but the strange thoughts are always in the back of my mind...I try to block them but I read that's the worst thing you can do...it true it's a never ending battle in my mind (what it feels like) I fear that it's pushing the people I hold dear away, which is what I fear the most! I tell them it's just a phase...I tell myself that but still feel this is something not everyone my age goes through to this extent.. And something me myself and I can only help. (I'm not alone however)
What helps me the most...
I'm trying to accept the thoughts for what they truly are...t h o u g h t s. Not actions, not law, not truth but...my mind being selfish and playing tricks on me. Do not run away...do not retreat. In other words, don't give your thoughts a reason to chase you. Know who you are, know what you love, know what makes your heart sing and do that..do it as much as you can. Hold on to that feeling and keep it close when you're feeling down...because you know you felt it once and you can truly feel it again. It's yours...take it.