Empty head

[shadow45]

I feel like I am losing myself or that I am changing into someone I don't know. I feel like I have lost the steve I used to be... Day after day of trying to cope with my emotional issues has stripped away any sense of self... I am now the sick guy ...the guy who can't hear properly... the guy who needs medication to get through the day. When I leave the house I can't wait to get back to become the guy in front of the TV show he has been watching for 6 months... who am I now.... I wonder now if I may just be holding on to a form of reality that will soon crumble away and leave me without a life at all.... LIke the guy on the corner mumbling to himself about how life has passed him by. This is not a choice I would make for myself.... So why am I going down this road I have to wonder if its part of being depressed and anxious ...Is there path this illness takes... and if we don't stop it somehow we just get worse and worse. running out of hope ....

[Hidden]

Hi Steve

When we get low we can feel like you describe but there is light at the end of the tunnel it just feels so far away that we loose sight of it

Something I had to learn to do was not question everything to much , as I would think of all the what if's & it would scare the life out of me

I hope that light starts shining soon

Love

whywhy

xxx

[shadow45 in reply to Hidden]

I just don`t see it whywhy. I have had a way of coping for years now... But it s not working anymore. Its like I now have to reinvent my whole life if I am going to be able to live a normal one... I can`t find the (material) to do that... Like building a house with no tools ...no bricks no mortar. It scares me whywhy and I Can`t shake this feeling....bless you

[Hidden]

Hi Steve

Sorry you are feeling so bad. I am feeling that way myself.

Xx

[Hidden]

Hi steve,

Sorry you are feeling so low, but you have been here before, and overcome it, you have started a new job, and on reading your posts, are enjoying it.

I hope you get in touch with your daughter again, I am sure she has many stories to tell you of her holiday.

I can't offer much advise but to say I am sending you some positive vibes. xx

[shadow45 in reply to Hidden]

Your right Ill come back from this. I just don't know how much energy I have left for this fight over and over again..

[Hawaii2012]

Hi Steve, i feel the same way. At times I feel like giving up. I don't like to leave the house due to constant worrying and attacks. It's so bad I have been missing a lot of work. It seems as though no one who is suffering understands. My wife is tired of it, and I don't blame her. My children are all grown up, so I really don't have anyone to pre occupy my mind. Steve I am so miserable I never thought a grown man could cry like I have been I'm at my wits end. I'm sorry you that way I am so fatigue. But I'm here for you. Take care.

[shadow45]

Hello I know the feeling of misery. And the crying is something that comes naturally ...As men we are led to believe we can't cry etc ... And I agree that we do need distraction from our negative thoughts.... For so many of us on this site it is the up and down days.... where things seem ok then down the next.... It is very tiring and tends to bring a lot of hopelessness into play.... I just live with it now... I have to push myself to get enthusiastic about doing much of anything.... I have a job that I enjoy when I get there... But I am finding it hard to motivate myself to go.... Its the crappy thing about this uncertainty... and to some degree fear of leaving my secure home... Where I can cry in peace or do something that will take some of the pain away. Try and find a balance in your day to day life I guess and understand some days will be good keep them close and build on them... stay strong steve