Not been myself the last few weeks - Here GOES....

[Helpmebirmingham]

Morning Everyone.

I have been feeling very isolated the last few weeks again. I believe it is down to not having a regular routine in my life. Anyway, last night I ended my 9 year relationship, we have lived together seven years. If I am honest, I have felt for a long time that we're sexually incompatible. I won't go in to details on that one but on the other hand, we trust each other 100%. Get a long fairly well but a relationship is a package isn't it?

I have said before if things don't change we're over, and the reply was, I will change give s a chance etc...Nothing changes in that department. Your only live once and life is way too short to live on a hope and prayer! We have commitments together and neither of us are in a position to move out.

I don't think it is right just to let the relationship carry on just because of loyalty - as I said, it is a package. I know life is never perfect, but I also know life is a lease and we are meant to fulfill x

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HI Help me x Oh Im sorry to hear that your relationship has ended x Its always a hard choice to end something that in some ways is so perfect and in others is not x Routine in life is good but not always needed some people choose to live life to the full by chance and some need the structure x Sometimes you can have the most random fun just living for that moment and going with something out of the routine x I think (my opinion) when it comes to a relationship it is based on give and take, and learning to mould your life and routines together but leaving time for the spontaneous fun x Whilst having the back up of the trust and love and loyalty making it somehow work x Sometimes in life you meet someone who you feel is not compatible in the bedroom dept and this is a hard one to deal with x It really is a 50/50 x Give and take. But there is also pressure, when you are constantly reminded of something you feel the pressure more and it becomes harder to keep up. Things fail in this dept to me for a lot of reasons illness, tiredness, stress lots!! But pressure added will not help. It seems maybe you are assuming that without sex its not going anywhere but I feel that if a relationship is based on sex its not a relationship in full. There is more to life like fun and love and just living together every day reminding yourself why you love this person. Why he makes you smile and laugh, why you fell for them in the first place x and take it from the other point of view x if it was you not giving how would you feel under the pressure x Would you give away your most treasured possession as it had a minor flaw? If you would then maybe it was never yours to own xx Hope it all works out well either way x Donver x

[Helpmebirmingham]

Morning Donver.

Thank you for your reply. I agree with you about the 50/50 in a relationship. That is how I based it from day one. I haven't had much structure in my life for sometime. Basically, I am not that shallow basing a relationship around sex, if that is all wanted, I would just have random hook ups without the rest. I do really like having a relationship Hence the longevity of this one! I am a spontaneous person by nature, but I do also thrive on structure at the same time.

I just thought I would throw my thoughts out there and see what happens.

Thank You one again and have a great day x