Bad health anxiety

I have ocd and anxiety but lately my health anxiety is through the ceiling. I've recently started dating my boyfriend of two months now and we have sex but my health anxiety is driving me nuts saying that I have HIV. He's been tested and so have I. We both are clean but I'm just afraid. I have things going through my head saying "what if he's lying?!" "What if he tested to early?!" "What if I tested to early?!" Then I get symptoms as if it's early signs of HIV. I my throat hurts, my lymph nodes feels swollen, me head hurts sometimes, I get really anxious and nervous when I have these symptoms. Then I say "he got tested, he's good." "He has two kids and they don't have it." "He hasn't had sex since November." Then I start watching tv and I see a commercial about getting tested and I watch a tv show and they make a joke or comment about HIV then I freak and say "OMG IF THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT HIV THEN THAT MEANS I HAVE IT! ITS A SIGN!" I just freak and ask my boyfriend when he got tested and where, how, what test he got checked for. Then I go online and it makes things worse! Idk what to do. I don't want to ruin my relationship bc of my ocd and health anxiety. That's what happen with my old relationship. Sorry for the long paragraph.

4 Replies

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  • Morning AnxiousGal

    It's horrible this over thinking things I mind goes off and we get stuck with these thoughts.

    Everything seems to be related to what we are thinking i.e the TV are even talking about it!!!!

    First of all you have both been tested which is great. Now its a matter of telling your mind the same not an easy task I know believe me but it can be done.

    Your mind is telling you stories and you are feeding it by going on line checking things. It is now time for you to change the story in your head to a more positive one.

    Write down things like, I am in a new and wonderful relationship and we have been both been tested and all is good. I except my mind is telling me these stories but they are un true as I have proof all is okay by the doctor.

    Tell yourself I will think about this again at 3pm today for one hour. I am not ignoring my worry its just that I am busy with other things in my life but I will come back to this thought later at 3pm.

    It is not easy but it can work. I have tried it myself and it sort of gives you a break from the constant thoughts going round in your head.

    Hope this helps and I am sure others will come up with things.

    gardener x

  • My boyfriend been told me if it bothers me we can go get tested together. That helped me and made me believe if he's willing to do that then he dosent have. It's just to ease my mind. I actually just got from a site talking about symptoms of HIV. I freaked myself out even more. I check myself for symptoms every single day and no joke every hour and sometimes every 15 mins. I just hope my boyfriend dosent think I don't believe him about being negative and getting tested. Like right now, I'm just seriously flushing with anxiety.

  • I feel your pain about this anxiety hiv thing.. mine is a little different but I still freak out all the time and ppl talk about it or its on tv and im like yup I got it how will I live or what will I do.. sore throat, stomach just not feeling myself.

  • Sorry for the late reply I was busy. But yes that's what I'm going thru now. I just had a stomach virus about 3 weeks ago and now I have a sore throat that MIGHT be strep and now I'm trying to connect it to hiv. I almost had a panic attack last night BC of that. I just pray that when I get tested Wednesday and then get the results Saturday, that the results come back negative. I hate doing this to myself.

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