Scared.

I'm scared that I may have HIV. I keep getting thoughys that's have it. I see commercials about it and ppl talk about it and I automatically say "that's a sign that j have it." It's like everywhere I turn I see a "sign" I did have unprotected sex with my ex but then we broke up. He told me that I was the first girl that he has ever used a comdom without. That thought help me for a bit but j still think in the back of my kind that I have it. I have been suffering OCD and anxiety for almost two years now and when I have health anxiety it's always about HIV and I get tested a lot and then it comes back negative. But have you ever felt so convinced that you have it that u start to get depressed? Have you ever felt like this time is the time that I really have it and then just start to slowly believe it? That's how I am now and I am extremely scared. Idk what to do.

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10 Replies

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  • Wow calm down there.

    Umm you need to accept that you don't have it with all the tests you've had.

    Did your ex do anything that increased his risk of having HIV?

    I don't exactly obsess about hiv but of other things that my mind gets stubborn and actually believes I'm going to die because of whatever thing I'm fixated on :(

    So yes you do become obsessed with your trigger.

    Look at your facts:

    You don't have a risk

    You cannot have HIV

  • I got tested before I got with him and I wasnevstive. But right after him I started to get the anxiety again. This legit happens to EVERY SONGKE EX I HAVE EVER HAD. After we break up I think they gave me the disease or something. I haven't got tested since I been with him and I'm getting tested Wednesday with my OBGYN and I'm scared that it might come back positive. From what I know of is that he didn't have any risk. He told me many times that "you're the first girl I slept with without a condom." But then in the back of my kind I have a feeling that he's lying. I know for sure that his last sexual partner was his long time gf but that was years ago. Then he slept with another girl so I'm just really scared and confused. Why do I keep doing this to myself?!

  • Why the fear of catching a sexual infection have you seen it happen to family or friends??

    The truth is if you've been getting tested and nothing has been showing up then you are fine. I know you fear the what if it's a hibernating disease but ignore that that's a slim chance.

    When u decide to get sexually active with ur next partner get him tested so u don't set of ur anxiety yet again.

    Life's short be greaful it has come back negative and live a full life. Don't let anxiety win.

  • It all started when I got raped 2 years ago. What's sad is that I started to feel this way after I stop taking my meds in September and it all came down.

  • Sorry you r having this anxiety but i would suggest reading more from authentic resources about the spread and maintainece of HIV might b useful WHO.org will give u immense knowledge on the subject... Hiv dont spread with just unprotected sex it spreads by having unprotected sex with an already infected person and it also does not appear from blue moon if u r tested negative u r negative nd u can always keep urself safe by using condom

    Second people have stop dying of HIV ... Few very brilliant doctors have managed to give hiv positive people a normal life some of them have even battled cancer and phenemounia and are living healthy ... Due to the global policy for combating hiv the cost of management has come down considerably and insurance companies r liable to pay for the meds.

    So i would say stop worrying u dont have it and start living and even if ur fears turn true it wont stop ur life anymore and it wont kill u.... Check a project face of hiv

  • This is kind of different for me. Considering no matter how much I test myself I will always be scared. There's no changing that. I will always have anxiety over it. My OCD will always be worse BC of it. There's no winning this. Even when I was on medication I was still battling this and it wasn't easy. It still isn't. I'm always going tbelwuvw I have no matter what. Which sucks.

  • If you always get tested and it came back negative then you don't have it. When was the last time you get tested? To ease your mind go back and get tested again. You'll be fine!

  • Last time I got tested was in May right before I started to date my ex. I'm getting tested again wedensday with my OBGYN. I'm just beyond scared BC im really sick. I went to the ER twice once for stomach virus (no fever) and then again for what try believe strep throat yesterday (no fever) and then I start to think that both of those are connected to the disease. Idk if I'm just driving myself nuts or both of them are really connected. P.S. I have to wait three days just to get my results

  • Oh my! I think it's just your anxiety. Why don't you go to a walk in clinic and get tested and get instant results. I think it's only an hour wait for results. It should make you feel better to know sooner. There are free clinic around, not sure where you are. But I think you're fine. If it makes you feel any better I used to be with a very promiscuous boyfriend and we had unprotected sex all the time and I used to be scared that I am HIV-positive.we have been over for over 13 years now and I am HIV negative thank God I now have a wonderful husband and two beautiful kids 10 years and six years old. God bless you!

  • That is what I want. A beautiful family like you. I use to go to the free clinic. But then they use to see me all the time and the counselor there told me I'm fine and I need to calm down. Plus they told me the rapid test aren't always accurate which made me scared even more. So then I started to go see my doctor a lot to get tested. Which made them annoyed.

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