When asked about self-harming and suicide re. depression, over the last few years I've kept saying "Oh I'd never self-harm, purely because I'm scared of pain. I don't understand people that do it".
I'm now 22 years old and I self-harmed (tamely, with a compass - causes less fuss and mess and it was what was around at the time) around the age of 13-15. I kept it hidden for a while before showing one friend. However, because I felt so silly and embarrassed I approached the whole thing light-heartedly. Strangely, her reaction was that she thought this was "cool" I suppose, and started doing it herself, the trend spread throughout my small group of girl-friends at the time. This suddenly went from something I did in tears, within the safety of my own room, with only my own company ... to my close friends and I, using it as a shared experience and I learnt to actually enjoy the self-harm - it gave me a buzz. I think at that point that a) I realised that this was not a healthy habit, especially with the fact I had linked it to feelings of positivity ... and b) what was first an expression of my pain had quickly turned into something trivial - it was no longer serving its purpose. So I stopped and ... I can't really remember, but they must've stopped too.
However my anxiety got worse and the compass was soon replaced with my bare nails - I used to work myself up in fits of tears and sit scratching my arms, I mean really digging my nails in. The arm scratching, well I guess I grew out of that too, around the age of 18, when I went to college.
How did something like self-harming just slip my mind?! It may sound tame, but the fact I forgot that I used to cut my arms with a compass and violently scatch and scatch at my arms in my teens makes me worry about what else I've forgotten further into my past :S