My life's a mess

I have had many difficult days since i found out that i was separating from my wife . I am stilling staying with my wife until i can find a flat to live . Everything is cool between us and we understand its for the best . She is being supportive. It feels my life has come to a end and feel so lost . I feel so bad today , bad thoughts , extreme anxiety symptoms . I am a mess .

Dave

4 Replies

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  • Ah Dave , so sorry you feel like this, but I think its normal under the circumstances!!

    The end of any relationship and especially a marriage is going to hit hard, and I think normal to feel like your life is a mess....... Its massive change so its going to be like that for a while!

    I have just split from someone in March and we were only together a couple of years, but Id moved further up north and I very much felt like my life was and still is a mess!!

    But in time it will change, you will come to terms with the change and you will find a brighter day!!

    But for now you have to take care of yourself and take one day at a time...... It will be very hard still living together, so you have to deal with one problem at a time, and try not to think of the whole situ that needs sorting out..... that's when its overwhelming!!

    Have you not got any family/friends you could stay with rather than the wife??

    Im not sure how much this will have helped, but just so you know youre not alone in your feelings!!

    xx

  • Hi

    I no you will feel your life is a mess at the moment & may even feel you will never be happy again , but you will , even though maybe at the moment you will find that hard to believe

    I went through a divorce & have to admit it was one of the worse times in my life

    I think sometimes we can think women only ever suffer through divorces but men do to !

    For me though he left & I was left in the house & it happened straight away

    That was hard & when he came to see the kids , was even harder as you cant help but want & wish things were different & the more I saw him which at the time I had to because the children were young , it tore at be every time

    So having to go through a divorce but been under the same roof at the moment , I can only imagine how hard this must be to deal with & its going to add to your anxiety as you will be experiencing every emotion there is !

    It may get easier once you have your own flat , even though the initial moving out might be hard but you will not have the constant reminder every day what could have been

    We go through all these thoughts , if I hadnt been like this , if I had done this different & so on but I realized it would have made no difference & wished I had never given myself so much pain with the what if's

    For me it was accepting what I did have was no longer there & its not an easy thing to do or what I was in love with were memories but not reality any more

    This takes time , I wish I could wave a magic wand & take all this pain & anxiety away for you , if I could I would

    You will get through it & come out the other end & eventually you will find contentment in your life & be happy

    Stay strong & even though this answer maybe of no use , no people are here & keep talking it does help to work your way through this

    Love

    whywhy

    xxx

  • Hi Dave,

    I feel for you mate and am glad you are coming on here to talk about things. To be honest I am a mess most of the time so difficult to give advice, am on the same meds and was also using the same sleeping pills you were given. Stay strong and keep posting, I am sure I speak for everyone in the community that we are here for you.

    "It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts"

    Cheers Scope45

  • Sorry about this. Unfortunately there isn't much that I can say. Time will help but I know at the moment things are still very new and raw. Keep texting and just try and take one day at a time. I find if I am struggling I try and structure my day which sometimes works for me. Are you planning on staying in the same area? Take care

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