Well its my 30th Monday and been worrying about wot to do ! When I'm out at party's after a few hours I lie to go home as had enough ! Trouble is if I have a party for my bday then I will feel anxious as won't just b able to leave my own party lol !!! Ddnt won't to do the meal thing neither ! Do feel a bit shit as wonted to do something for it also felt bad for friends and family ! Told them that been worrying about it all and now just going out with my partner for a meal on Sunday just the 2 of us. My best mate taking me for a meal tomoz and Monday on my bday of for another meal and b seeing rest of friends and family in the afternoon that's the plan for now and maybe at a later date wen I won't to we will all do something together I do feel crappy for not doing something with them all because I don't won't to have the feeling of getting out of where ever I am or just feeling not great !!! Does my head in I use to love a night out with friends and family... I no I would proberly be fine but I guess anxiety has won this one ! For now anyway. Anything will be better than last year that was so bad as that's when I'd not long been getting all this and didn't no wot was going on with myself ! Was in tears so this will be much better this year lol x
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