My wife may have Parkinsons Disease.

[moley64]

I have suffered from panic attacks and anxiety for nearly 2 years. It has been something of a roller coaster. I have had times when I have thought that I was through the worsted and then wham I would really be suffering again.

During this time my wife has threatened to leave me and when angry has called me a failure. Part of what has kept my anxiety going has been the background fear that she is going to leave me. I felt that I had an implied threat hanging over me all of the time. I felt scared to make a mistake for fear that this would be the last straw. When I met my wife I had a well paid professional job. I now work part time and am my wife's carer.

On Tuesday after a visit to the doctors my wife told me that the doctor thinks that she has Parkinsons Disease. My wife will be admitted to hospital for tests soon. It has been very distressing for both of us. My wife said to me that she would not blame me if I could not cope with her condition and left. I would never leave her and consider that when we got married it was for better or worse and in sickness and in health.

I have felt very panicky and anxious and have really put in an effort to remain as supportive and understanding as possible. However, I feel a strange feeling of being let down. My wife when I have been very poorly was threatening to leave me and yet I would not do the same to her. I have never deliberately said anything mean or hurtful to her. I am trying live a day at a time but am finding things difficult.

I wish you well and thank you for reading my post which has been difficult to write. There are some things that are difficult to admit to yourself let alone other people.

M

[sanmure]

Hi M you have done really well writing this, pouring out your feelings is very difficult. I have been in the same situation, but in reverse, i was the one with the anxiety and panic attacks, at that time and my late husband could be very hurtfull. Some years later he was the one who became seriously ill and i was his carer for 10yrs, as you said in sickness and in health. I would never have left him. For the last 7yrs sadly i have been on my own, panic attacks are back and anxiety for the last few years has been terrible, but i am getting lots of help and medication which is helping, still got a long road to go but i will get there. Have you and your wife ever just sat down and talked to each other, maybe she doesn't really understand the impact she is having on your illness by making you feel like your a failure. There are a lot of nice helpfull people on this site, they maybe able to give you some more help than i have. Don't give up, just write whatever you feel, it helps. Hugs San xx

[moley64 in reply to sanmure]

Hi. Thanks for your reply. I think that the people on this site are wonderful. I always feel better after a visit to this site.

Have a smashing and sunny weekend.

lol

M

[Hidden]

I fully understand what you are saying but your wife will not have really meant it or she would have carried her threats out,your life will be hard enough without thinking about it,yes,,I would say this is the time for a heart to heart talk,

[moley64 in reply to Hidden]

I think you are right. If she was going she would have gone. I think that when you are under stress rational thinking can go out of the window.

Have a great weekend and thanks for your reply.

M